To feel gutted?

[cupofteapleasee]

Swapped Christmas presents today with OH family hugged his mum and brother ect said thank you.
I goes to oh later on in the evening after his brother and sister in law left I said did she open her presents yet?

He goes yeah she opened them in the spare living room earlier she said thanks to me. I put effort into everyone's present so I was expecting a thank you absolutely nothing I just assumed she never opened it.

I brought her a loungewear set personalised gin glass bottle of gin some lipglosses from selfridges I even made effort to find the right shade. Absolutely nothing but she said thanks to OH aibu to feel gutted.

If she thanked your OH then unless the presents were just from you then she has thanked the givers.

Maybe I'm just a drama queen then I thanked her so was kind of waiting.
Their all girly things so I thought she would of came and said thanks to me.

People seem to be odd with presents. I got gifts yesterday and did not even acknowledge them till today as yesterday was 'santa'. My brothers gf gave me amazing gifts and I only said thanks today as I didnt see or talk to her yesterday. Anything other than my kids getting santa gifts to me is inconsequential till after the day itself. Has she kids? Maybe is she like me and loves and appreciates the gift but does not have her phone in the vicinity until today or tomorrow if she is busy?

@Stufftheturkeysholewithholly I've been sat talking to her all day she opened the gifts this morning OH said.

If it’s OH family the OH will receive the thanks, as it’s assumed he bought the gift.

@Cherries101 really? I always make sure I say thank you to everyone same as oh family.OH doesn't even know what was in there 😂

I was sat with her all day talking didn't even know she opened it as soon as I opened mine I went and said thank you. I think it's just poor manners she never said bye either.

That’s what most non-chauvenistic people would assume though. Sil is married to your OH’s dbro and said thanks to him — that practically screams she thought he bought it. Especially since she’s chatty with you otherwise. In a lot of families (mine included) men buy and plan gifts as well as women do and it wouldn’t be assumed a partner planned it all unless it was called out. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

She should have said thank you to you too, but from her perspective probably thought thanking your other half was enough. Maybe ask her gently if she liked her presents? Might be enough for her to get the message to thank you personally in future too

Did he buy her presents before he met you? I've no idea how presents become women's work. It's depressingly common enough that I always thank the woman. Possibly she thinks her son knows, loves, cares about and buys things for her. Shame she's wrong.

Sorry, you hosted her all day and she left without saying goodbye?

I think that’s a bigger than where/when/how she opened your gifts.

Either way, manners matter to me and I’d be reconsidering my invitations to make them less long and involved. I’d start downplaying gifts too. Less effort, less $$$.

But I wouldn’t be ‘gutted’ over other people’s rudeness. That’s just you giving them too much power over your day. Shrug her off and concentrate on the lovely parts of your day. Put your efforts into things that make you happy. It’s a hard-learned lesson that’s changed my life!

@Skittlesandbeer I spent the day at OH's mums and all the boys went to the football.
So we was chatting all day. OH said she is like that though. I won't be doing it again I couldn't believe it.

Of course she was missing a few social behaviours, but that's on her, for whatever reason, perhaps she doesn't know to do them or had an issue with you, either way, you'll do better to learn not to be ruffled by things like this.

Why don't you all open presents together?? It's weird that you all opened them at random times!

Also having a spare living room is fancy.