AIBU to think that this was enough for 4 year old and I’m not an utter shit mum

[Lifecanbeabeach2]

I was told the day before Xmas eve that basically I was
1.acting like a slag that would drop their knickers for anyone ( back history - daughter is 4 I have been with one person since ( not her dad )

1. That I just buy my daughter stuff for Xmas and birthday but I should be creating memories with her and actually spending time with her/ doing stuff with her. This is what hit me the hardest to be honest

Yes I do get her a lot for Xmas and her birthday BUT I don’t spoil her through out the year, I don’t drink / smoke / go out for dinner / have sky tv / fancy clothes / highlights / nails done or any of that. I try to do as much as I can with her she spends about 50 percent of the time in hospital, so when she is home there is still a lot of cares to be done ( especially overnight night and first half of day ) She has been this year Aquariam, zoo, seaside ( live in a city ), different parks, farms , Lego land, ice skating, boat trip, film premier, winter wonderland, take her to dance class twice a week and camps when they are on, never miss a show or parents watch week. Gone to watch the nutcracker, we bake cakes, paint, get our the house even if it is just for a walk daily. She has never stayed out at anyone’s, if she is in hospital included a admission that lasted over a year I sleep at her bedside and only go home to pick things up. Do people go out every spare day ? Every weekend to different events ?

Who on earth said those things to you? They sound awful.

You sound like a lovely mum, and you're doing loads together.
Life is full of tosspots who try to cover their own insecurities by being nasty and judgemental to others. Consider exactly how much you need this person in your life.

Wow sounds like you've done lots and lots of very lovely and enriching activities with her. I'm sorry to hear she's in hospital a lot.
Do you want to say what's been said to you?

Sounds like you do loads and loads with her. Whoever said it is obviously an idiot who wanted to hurt you.

Who said this to you. You sound a lovely mum, it must be very upsetting when you do your very best for your child.

The only thing you have done wrong is not telling this person to fuck off.

Sounds like you're a fab mum and you've done some lovely activities / trips. Also sounds like your daughters medical issues can be challenging - so I think you are doing great.

Whoever said that to you seems to have at the very least their own agenda. Don't pay any attention to them - you sound as though you're a fantastic mum.

I'm incredibly impressed by how much you do with your daughter.
I never did a fraction of that when mine were young.

The person that spouted this bullshit at you must be coming from a very negative place themselves.

What you are doing is more than fine. You are doing great.
Ignore the idiot who tried to tell you otherwise. They're the one with the problem, not you.

This is the thing I don’t know who exactly it is.... someone that knows us very well because they put a lot of details in their message but send it via email that was clearly fake.
It said that
I was acting like a slag that would drop her knickers for anyone ( I have a date soon with someone I really like but I won’t be dropping my knickers for him anytime soon)
They used daughters name a lot and said how I only focus on spoiling her but don’t spend enough time doing things with her and if they were me they would be making memories with and I should go do that !
( I really try to do this ) that a lot of people do not like me, but don’t want to tell me.
I barely go out anywhere so not sure how I have managed to offend so many people haha

I try to give her the best life and sometimes just sometimes maybe I obsess over it slightly because I panic it will be the last Xmas / birthday.
I do have some sort of feeling it may have been someone who was put out that they weren’t invited to my daughters birthday ( but I could only pick 2 adults and 3 kids !

That's horrible, I can see why you are upset. What sort of gutless twat sends an email like that?!
Says a lot more about them than you, so please try to ignore and carry on enjoying the Christmas holidays with your daughter.

You received an anonymous message?

Some people are just vile. Ignore it and concentrate on you and your lovely DD.

Plus - Anyone who 'talks about making memories' usually has issues in my experience

an ex partner? dd's dad or his new partner?

I personally would report this message to the police if it is anonymous and calling you these things and making regular reference to your child. It sounds like a chilling thing to receive.

Ignore. Don't delete but file away in a folder. If you receive more you will need them to take to the police. Sending one abusive , anonymous e-mail is shitty and cowardly, but if it continues it will be considered harassment.

For now though, ignore. It sounds like someone is trying to undermine your confidence. Don't let them.

Weird. Just weird. Someone a bit jealous I thought too. Or someone who doesn’t want to see u happy or getting on in life. Almost sounds like they are picking on things they know are things you already worry (unnecessarily) about

Having a dd who is in hospital half the time is incredible stressful. Dealing with that in a loving way makes you a great mom. Then there is all the other things.
A fake email is not the gospel on your life..Have more trust in your own abilities. Who made them God?
I would suspect, as said, dds dad or a person you dated a few times who is jealous.

Yes it’s a very long email so I can’t write it all but was horrid, just said all different sorts of things .. mainly as you say things I already worry about.
Just don’t know how someone could be so mean :(

What an awful, horrible thing to do. Don’t waste another second on this disgusting email. You sound like a great mum.

We are going to a soft play and a museum for DD birthday this week, went to circus last week, we are going on a caravan holiday and theme park in Feb. Other mums say we do a lot. DS most memorable day was walking the dog in some woods!

I do admit some days / a lot of days although we go for a walk the rest is movie watching etc lounging around whilst I catch up on housework there is just so much to do and only me !!

I’d reply very briefly stating that this is harassment & you’ll be informing police.

Even if you don’t at this stage it fires a warning shot.

Pay no attention to this email, it is spouting rubbish

Listen, once your kid is as happy as her health allows, no one else’s opinion counts a tiny damn. None of us can be Mary bloody Poppins even with a healthy child. Someone is jealous of you and wants to hurt you - this email was NOT sent out of concern. I feel quite angry on your behalf.

Don't reply to hate mail, don't believe hate mail. Block the email address.