To be annoyed with MIL

[lboogy]

Background, I have 1 Dc who is 5m old. Mil has 5 other grandkids who live in different parts of the country. Mil is always bitching about her other DILs to me which I always discourage. We used to go to lunch every 2 months but I slowly stopped that because I was tired of her bitching about her DILs who she says don't make the effort to allow her access to the grandkids.

Since I had DC. she's phoned my mum to complain that I'm obsessed with my baby and have only let her have dc on her own once. Which is the same thing she complained to me about her other DILs . Btw my mum has never had dc alone ever and has never asked or expects to which you might expect since it's her first dgc

Sadly my FiL has been in hospital over Christmas and will be there into new year. Mil is alone with no real friends. She's more or less fallen out with all her family and friends. FiL is her only companion and friend. She spends all day at the hospital. Despite finding mil exhausting because she's a motormouth and a gossip I started to feel sorry for her and almost thought of asking her to spend daytime with me and baby but since my mum has just told me that mil rang her (no doubt cause she's lonely and sad) to complain about me I'm really annoyed.

Should I suck up my annoyance and offer some company or just leave her to it ?

If FIL is not infectious I’d go and see him instead.

Leave her to it. Why would you? You know she’s going to bitch about you like she does the other DILs.
There’s a reason family and friends don’t like her.

I personally wouldn't bother, where is your oh in all of this? Why doesn't he see her if she is lonely?

Good grief, your baby doesn't need to be alone with MIL!

When determining whether a person has personality issues, I tend to look at patterns. If MIL has no other support because she's alienated everyone around her, that's HER problem, not yours. Your baby is not some sort of Prozac designed to make her feel better. I would be especially reluctant to be around her with baby now given that she may start complaining and demanding more time with baby even more now that she's alone temporarily.

It's not your job to make MIL feel wanted. If no one can stand to be around her, the problem is with HER, not you.

Leave her to it. She’s got no friends because she’s pissed them all off. No reason to have a small baby ‘to herself’.

@TestingTestingWonTooFree I thought about this but I'm reluctant to take such a young baby to the hospital. We did drop in on mil a couple of times already so I feel I'm doing my part

DH goes to the hospital everyday where both parents are so he does see her. Thankfully he hasn't asked me to hang out with her and I hope he doesn't. He knows she's hard work - his words not mine but he always says you've to to be patient with her

I think a 5 month old would be fine visiting a hospital unless FIL has something contagious.
I'd offer to take her with you to visit FIL with the baby as a kind gesture over the Christmas period. That's compassionate and appropriate.
Most people don't expect 1-2-1 time alone with a baby. She's being ridiculous in her demands.