What was your best come back?

[Tantrumschmantrum]

Just wondering what your best come back was to a cheeky child without actually being shouty or sweary. I have a 6 year old DN who's starting to be quite cheeky and want to know how tell her off without upsetting the family. Best methods of practice greatfully received!

I raise one eyebrow.

Gives me a headache but it does the job.

"Excuse me?" Said in an "I bloody dare you say/do that again" tone of voice.

'Excuse me' with exaggerated eyebrow! Love it 😂

As advised by my favourite etiquette columnist: an overexcited child was haring around my house seeming likely to break something. Attempts to divert him into the back garden were unsuccessful. I grabbed him by the wrist, squeezed a little too tightly, gave him a grisly smile and warned him, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, dear. You might get hurt." The beady-eyed stare and death grip on the wrist left him in little doubt as to how he might get hurt.

Look at them. No, not like that. Like that.

Saracen I’m sorry you couldn’t find a way to deal with that kind of behaviour without being abusive and theatening

I think Saracens is being a bit tongue in cheek Poodle!

Oh

Oh man I thought this wasn't going to be about DC.

I was going to give my best come back in a dating situation before I opened the thread.

For another thread.

Nikifree do add, would love to hear lol!

He sent me video of him pleasuring himself. 🤮

I told him to go fuck himself and send me the video of himself doing that.

Sounds like you had a lucky escape there!

Indeed 🤣

You just need to give them the look. You know, the one where you look like you’re going to kill them, and leave them scared. Apparently I did this to my cousins dds when they were younger, and they’ve the utmost respect for me now they’re in their 20’s 😃

Again not child related..

I was at my work Xmas party a couple of weeks ago and was having the usual slagging match with my boss. This was going back and forth and he said to me "I'm the most PC boss you've ever had" to which I replied "Yeah you're a right poxy cunt". Haven't lost my job yet

I have a 6 year old DN who's starting to be quite cheeky

I just look at mine disapprovingly and say, "You're being very cheeky."

Not sure I'd have the guts staff 😂

On a serious note DN flicked DH (her blood uncle) the finger and called him a fat weirdo. All he'd done was take her to the park with our 2 DC and she wanted to leave after about 5 minutes (which I think was a control issue). I'm not convinced she actually knows what a weirdo is and DH told her if she ever did it again he would be telling her mother and has a way sterner manner than me.

We were looking after her at the time and I'm a bit blown away by her boldness. I think she sees me as a soft touch and was telling me to fetch her stuff in quite a disrespectful way. I told her no and that she wanted it so she needed to be the one to go and fetch it (from the other room).

Her parents are strict, so not sure how to broach it while they're about.

"Get me x,y,x"

Answer: What did your last slave die of?

I am not your mother!
Did it hurt when you broke your legs?
"Get me x,y,z ...what?" And wait.

Name calling..
The excuse me one goes well.
I don't call you names so you shouldn't either(nice version).
How dare you talk to me like that?(not nice version)

I am very disappointed in you. You are a smart girl and you know better than that. I expect better than that from you. (Aka you are soo freaking lucky I'm not your mum).

Tbh kid's being a disrespectful little shit, being sent to her room and actually telling her parents is what you should do. At least deffo tell the parents. They can't deal with it if they don't know.

Realwitchface these are gems 👌thank you

I also find 'excuse me?' to be one of the best responses. It simultaneously catches the child off guard and forces an explanation/justification of the behaviour (which most of the time they won't be able to give). It was the one thing that always worked with DS. I could spend several minutes telling him off and explaining why he shouldn't do something, but those two words were way more effective.

raised eyebrow/bend down to their face level

"Tell me...(name) are you clever?"
child normally always says yes
"Then start acting it please, you're better than that"

Disappointment and embarrassment in ones self as a child always works better than chastising 😁

I think I'll have to write some of these down and learn them off by heart for the next run in!