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AIBU?

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Help me get back downstairs

6 replies

Alwayslonging · 26/12/2018 21:35

Long story but keeping it brief. I am away with my DH DD DS DB and his girls and son and wife. Youngest is 12. Anyway it's got to a point where tensions are growing, something that's been a bit of an issue today has come out tonight and the result is I'm sat in the bedroom alone and everyone else is downstairs enjoying themselves. I'm not too sure why I'm the one hiding away, I truly believe I was right but I'm the emotional one hence me walking away. But how do I save face and rejoin, I've paid alot of money to be here and I'm sat upstairs alone!

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 26/12/2018 21:38

You've paid a lot of money to be there, just go back down and brazen it out. If anyone tries to comment or joke about it brush it off with a "are we still talking about that? I thought it was over with..." and enjoy yourself. Three drinks time and no one will remember anyway.

Oldstyle · 26/12/2018 21:50

What Ewits said. Go on, do it right now. Report back from downstairs with a drink in your hand by 10.15. It'll be fine. Wish I'd had this advice years ago - spent 7 hours hungry & drinkless in the bedroom. They were in the wrong but it didn't make the 7 hours more pleasurable. Especially since I could hear them having a great time without me. Off you go!!

30birthdayholiday · 26/12/2018 21:57

Could you find a game to play and say you were looking for that? Then everyone will be talking about the game and it will be forgotten

Awrite · 26/12/2018 22:00

Personally, I would enjoy the peace and quiet.

I wouldn't let awkwardness stop me popping downstairs for supplies though. Or rejoining the group if I really wanted to.

Remember - these are your family members. Think about the poor in-laws of the piece. Your dh and nephew's wife. They will be hating being in the middle of family bickering. Unless of course, your quarrel is with one of them?

Waterlemon · 26/12/2018 22:03

Sorry guys, I think I nodded off, Had a migraine brewing, so I took some pain killers but they wiped me out.

arranbubonicplague · 26/12/2018 22:12

I'm sat in the bedroom alone and everyone else is downstairs enjoying themselves. I'm not too sure why I'm the one hiding away,

You don't know that they're enjoying themselves.

You're hiding because:
i) you're irritated;
ii) you're embarrassed that your (rational) argument hasn't persuaded the majority and the frustration was expressed emotionally;
iii) you were hoping that your relationship with your DH might mean that he's sensitive to the need that he might come and chat to you and give you a read on the situation with others?

hey’ll lie before they ever apologise, so there’s no point arguing. They’ll twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that they’ll believe their own nonsense.

You don’t need an apology to move on. You don’t need to surrender what feels right but it's unlikely to lead to anything productive to keep a dispute alive on Boxing Day. There’s just no point.

Some people need to be right more than they want to be happy. But it sounds like you would rather be having a good time with the others. Because, otherwise, it sounds like you go down tonight or you hope that staying alone means that you have a tricky conversation with your DH later (or none, if he doesn't come to bed until late) or have to breezily pretend nothing happened tomorrow morning. (And, nothing will be resolved anyway.)

Good Luck with whatever you choose to do.

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