AIBU to want to stab my guests in the eye after slaving all day

[jxnx]

You know the ones that turn in to John fucking Torode but consider rustling up we potato waffles and beans that say things like "the veg is a little Al dente" or "the beef is a bit over it should be medium rare" fuck right off I've been preparing and cooking all bloody day have the best part of a bottle of wine in me (that you DIDN'T EVEN BRING) eat the food and go HOME. I wouldn't dream of judging someone's food the that table it's not come fine with me, I'm just glad someone else cooks and I don't have dishes to do lol

Sorry have fury "rustling up potato waffles and beans " is cooking

Your guests are very rude. I wouldn't invite them over again.

Fuck that I'd lob roast potatoes at their head until they got the hint to leave.

Oh God, YWNBU at all. FIL constantly does this to poor, lovely MIL.

If she ever cracks and stabs him with the carving knife I will help her hide his body.

I once had guests complain how trrrible Gordon's gin is for 30 min with the bottle I got in for them especially (I was 30 weeks pregnant) standing in front of them, even after telling them it's rude. I was flabbergasted. Switch the lights off and tell them the party is over and never have them over again.

YANBU!

My arsehole of a DB (yes there is a massive back story) nearly got knifed yesterday after announcing for the 5th time that he was starving, while myself and my lovely DSis’s were slaving in the kitchen trying prepare the buffet for all of us (14).

Not once did the entitled tosser offer to help, so he was told in no uncertain terms to get to fuck!

I don’t see him often enough to care if I offend him!

My mil did this. She kept trying to get out crackers and cheese literally 10 minutes before dinner was going to be ready, then said the turkey was over cooked after I'd been in the kitchen for three bloody hours.

They wouldn't be getting a second invite from me! And, if they asked, I would tell them exactly why.

YANBU. Last Christmas dinner, my MIL gave me a lesson on how to make better Yorkshire puddings, and then questioned why I had not made my own Christmas pudding. I could have cheerfully strangled her.

Anyone complaining, instantly has volunteered to host and cook next time.

Years ago we used to have one of DH's friends who used to critique my cooking , until one day I told him if he didn't shut up he would be wearing it.

DH had to explain it wasn't on to come to someones house and criticise their cooking

I hate this. I know a couple of people, who, when I cook for them, will take a mouthful and then deem it necessary to give the food a review! "Hmmm...this has potential but perhaps a little too creamy?" Erm...I've cooked a meal so that we can eat and not be hungry. I am not competing. I didn't even ask what you thought of it!

Oh my goodness, how can people be so rude?

My dad does this. I am a good cook and I make excellent cakes. However, every single time he eats anything I've made, he gives me a list of every tiny fucking thing he thinks should be different (A dash less cinnamon, a spoonful more or less sugar, that level of nitpickery). If challenged about it, he gets very angry and aggressive and accuses me of not being able to take constructive criticism. He won't accept that it's only constructive if it isn't constant. My sister could serve shit and sugar (and I'm not promising you could tell the difference between that and something she'd actually cooked!) and be told it was fabulous.
This is just one of the reasons the old bastard is going in a home far, far away from me, at the earliest opportunity!
Unless it's actually inedible or could kill you, criticising food which has been made for you for free is just bloody rude.

I would be stabby if anyone did this to me. Never invite these assholes again.

YANBU
For as long as we have been married (23 years) have alternated between parents at Christmas. Last decade been one set Christmas day other side boxing day.
Every year my spinster sister arrives and never lifts a finger to help.
I cook and DH washes whilst she sits on her arse. Even my DGM before she passed away at 92 used to offer to help.
God forbid she would offer to do one xmas or contribute to dinner at ours.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ha ha, we would all hold them down for you whikst you did it!
I had s couple for dinner once. They did bring wine and to show thanks we opened it at the table. Half was left over so when I cleared the table, I popped it in the fridge. The woman went to my fridge and took it out and placed it next to her bag by our front door.
I picked it up again and placed it in the fridge. She actually took it back out and took it home with her. I couldn’t believe it. YANBU

I’d say something like «It’s funny, but I’d never imagined you to have a refined palate!» and smile . With gritted teeth.

DH had a friend who often made remarks like that, and ate with us regularly. I put up with it for ages. One day he was watching me put the main dish on the serving platter and commented that it didn’t look quite as it should, so I finally snapped and told him that he ought to have come earlier and shown me how it should be done if he could do it better. He looked taken aback and didn’t seem to know what to say, but from then on he never criticised my cooking again !

My brother turned up at my mums Christmas Eve with nowhere to go for Christmas dinner so came to mine. I told people we were eating at 3, actually all plated at the table at 10 past.

I got 10 full minutes whining 'I’m starving, where's the food, I’m hungry'. The thanks I got from him 'you’ve done ok with the turkey'

I should have done what AGHHHH suggested and lobbed roast potatoes at his head.

Ha at least I am not alone in this I'm actually a reasonable cook but ya can't please everyone. Another a few glasses of red has helped somewhat