To think that getting thoughtless gifts from those close is a little bit hurtful if you put thought into gifts forvthe same?

[malificent7]

I am conscious of my weight but my close friend always gets me the same generic chocs every year. I bought her something that is en point. Though not expensive she has commented on how much she wanted one earlier.
I don't think i can be bothered next year amd might suggest no adult gifts .

You'll probably be accused of being ungrateful, gift giving being about the giving rather than expectations of receiving, etc. But I agree with you - DH & I have this annually with a certain family member. IMHO, if it's the thought that counts, then it would be nice to see some thought put into it, rather than generic chocolates, or random books /ornaments etc picked up from discount shops. Some people seem to treat it as an obligation, grudgingly or thoughtlessly fulfilled, or an opportunity for a shopping trip & you (i.e. we) just end up with whatever they happened to see cheap in the shops.

Make a note and don't put in as much thought next year to their presents. It will free up your time and mental load for things that are more worthwhile.

It is said that the definition of madness is to repeat the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Get her exactly the same box of chocolates she gets you next year.

I hate genetic gifts for the sake of giving. They’re all about the giver (Look At Me and how lovely I am) rather than about the person receiving.

My exH always just randomly grabs the first thing he sees. It has totally pissed me off forever. This year, when buying presents with the dc, he managed to screw up every one, probably in a passive aggressive way (eg I asked for single oven gloves, not joined ones, he got dc to choose joined ones, and now I’m stuck using them as chosen by dc, etc).

Might as well not bother imo. It’s at least honest.

Trouble is it makes me feel like they don't know me.
I think they concentrate on their own dc which is fair enough...

It’s the thought that counts, and there hasn’t been any here, so no I don’t think YABU.
FWIW my sister said she hates presents I get her even though I always check what she’s into that year and put lots of thought into it.

This year I just got her gift vouchers so she can get what she wants, she got nothing for me, not even a card. She said I deserve it for previous presents.

She’ll be getting diddly squat it future as she didn’t say thank you and is generally ungrateful.

When did this IMO ridiculous trend of adults buying / expecting/ complaining about gifts start? Christmas is about family for adults and family and gifts for children, except for very close family ( and then no stress causing gifts)!

She is sort of close family too as our parents ate together but i would rather no gifts at all than some awful generic nonsense.