AIBU to want to leave my money to charity and not to relatives?

[TheMoleInAHole]

I don't have children yet, due to fertility issues I may never have them. I'm in my early 30s so hopefully not going anywhere for a while but I'm planning my will. My parents are still alive so will receive my money(house, savings and life insurance) if I die before them. I'm an only child so siblings aren't an issue and I'm single.

However if I die after my parents and don't have children I want to leave the house and money to four or five charities with causes that are important to me. I have 22 first cousins and while I have no real issues with any of them I never see some of them and the rest I see once or twice a year.

My friend thinks that it's wrong to leave the money to animals/the homeless etc when I have relatives but personally I think that the charities could make better use of the money(about £500,000 or so) than if divided between some people I barely know, relatives or not. If we were especially close then yes that'd be different.

So AIBU?

On a slight tangent
I was executor for a friends will last year with house sale proceeds and all cash going to a charity. Relatives were appalling. I was bombarded for the best part of a year with emails, letters, and FB comments asking/begging/demanding money, and was vilified when I refused. Even had to attend court when one set of relatives tried to claim the will was invalid because my friend had MH problems - (she didn't). The charity was almost as bad.
So as a PP said, make sure the will is watertight, and retain a good solicitor.
Oh and never volunteer to be executor!

That sounds like a nightmare,Species5618. I was an executor for my Grandmother. That went comparatively smoothly and was still exhausting and all consuming. I'll definitely keep in mind never to volunteer for the position again!

We did this, DH and I made wills and I didn't want to leave anything to my vile sisters (NC for many years). Solicitor said I should name them and leave them £5 each so they could not make a claim that they'd been forgotten. You should do the same... Oh and I changed it to £1 each.

I would ask to structure your will so that there is capacity to leave a little extra to a friend or relative if you want to at a later point.

I know my experience of elderly people is that sometimes a friend or neighbour ends up doing a lot of the logistical caring - I don't mean physical care, but shopping for food and clothes/shoes, sorting out bills and repairs to the home, checking up on the person and any paid carer/cleaner/gardener, calling regularly so the person isn't lonely.

It's absolutely a nice thing to recognise this person in the will, whoever they end up being, and at 30 I don't think you will know who it is yet.

why are you wasting money on life insurance in your current circumstances?

I have similar circumstances and have LI. My own view is that it will allow my parents to grieve without money worries. It allows them to pay the remaining off on my mortgage without forcing them to sell my home, if they are not ready to do so. It also replaces any financial help I might have given them in future years, that I would not be alive to provide.

In short, it's there to try and reduce the 'hassle' of my dying when the emotional turmoil will already be more than they can handle.

*charities who refused to then give a few thousand to executors to cover funeral fees(

Absolutely disgusting. Ungrateful fuckers.

Just be aware if you have kids but dont update your Will the charities named can and will fight for every penny when you do die. Their legal teams are ruthless. To the extreme.

My friend's Mum left some money to a well known animal charity in her will but the money was not free in her estate/cash etc at the time of death as she hadnt updated her will in years. The fuckers took it to court and forced the sale of the house to free the cash. My friend lost her Mum's house, that her Mum wanted her to have for security and memories just for the sake of leaving them a few quid.

@Zippey I’m not a big believer in giving to charity. It’s basically a black hole and most of the times you are funding the ceo and directors salaries.

No you're not. The large charities where the CEO maybe earns £500K are huge businesses with loads of employees and a massive turnover so they are paid the correct amount for heading up a huge organisation.

If a good CEO can run a large charity efficiently so £30m goes to the cause instead of £20m, then £500K salary is money well spent.

I don't understand why people struggle with this.

Smaller charities are also less bound up in bureaucracy and red tape.

I know of a few who do very good work, on little budget.

That's awful, TheWIfipasswordis, your poor friend. I intend to review my will every 5-10 years or sooner if circumstances change so hopefully that won't be an issue.

Although we have a child we have something in place to stop our money going to people we don't want it to if he were to predecease us/we die at the same time.

We have mentioned people who would expect to inherit in our will but then only left them a, relatively, token amount. Our reasoning and is fully explained in our letters of wishes. The bulk of the estate is left in trust which ultimately will go to an existing, local, charitable trust (set up decades ago for this very reason by a couple in a similar position).

My friend's Mum left some money to a well known animal charity in her will but the money was not free in her estate/cash etc at the time of death as she hadnt updated her will in years. The fuckers took it to court and forced the sale of the house to free the cash. My friend lost her Mum's house, that her Mum wanted her to have for security and memories just for the sake of leaving them a few quid.

If it was only a few quid, why didn't your friend secure a small mortgage against the value of the house she was inheriting, or even do a small equity release plan?

Where do you live op?

Here, in Scotland, your next of kin is legally entitled to a certain proportion of your estate.

Crikey, don’t appoint solicitors as your executors - their fees are exorbitant. Fine if you’re not worried about leaving anything behind but you’ve said you want to benefit some charities.

Just be aware if you have kids but dont update your Will the charities named can and will fight for every penny when you do die. Their legal teams are ruthless. To the extreme.

Charity law requires the trustees to collect what’s due to the charity, and it has to be used for the charity’s specific charitable purposes. They don’t have a choice in this.

I'm in Scotland but moving to England in the next year or so. The law only applies to children and spouses/civil partners I believe, none of which I have at present.

Ok, might do. I wasn't sure if your next of kin would then be your cousins. Possibly only if you didn't have a will.

It's an important point to consider so thank you for raising it. I'll double check.

Totally your choice, things may change in tge future. Last year a lady named Elizabeth O'Kelly left 30 million to 5 charities. It was extremely generous, what a legacy.

Sounds like charities act like bastards
that's not very charitable is

YANBU OP at all, assuming you are happy with the charities, lots of good advice here, I would add- tell your relatives about your decision, state it quite clearly and unambiguously, people can feel very entitled to other people's money as is often demonstrated by discussions here.

I'm almost exactly in your same boots, except I don't have any first cousins, only a smattering of second cousins, the majority of whom I haven't seen in years.

The plan is to leave something to a friend's child (not my godson but I love him dearly) and the majority divided between charity and my old uni to fund a bursary. That's if I don't live to 100 and need the money for my own care expenses, obvs

Personally I would rather leave the money to family, even if we weren't particularly close.

We still mention 'great aunt __' who was actually my mothers great aunt as she left her jewellery to family (she had no children). Whenever a piece is worn it's mentioned that it's great aunt ---'s. I think that's quite nice.

If I had jewellery I might leave it to my cousins but I'm not a jewellery person so I don't have any to leave, a few average pieces that aren't worth much at all.

I have absolutely nothing against my cousins but I feel that charities will benefit more from the money than my 22 cousins would if it was divided between them.