Parents boasting about their kids' social lives

[justfloatingpast]

I saw a lot of this yesterday - One relative talking about how her son and daughter (19 and 21) were dying with hangovers this morning because they'd both been out partying the night before (but said in a proud kind of tone of voice;) and another butting in to say oh yes, she'd hardly seen her kids all week because they'd sooo many meet ups and reunions, again said in a smug sort of voice, and then someone else banging on about her daughter never being at home, always out and about, isn't it wonderful to be young?

I have a niece who's fairly quiet, has a small group of friends, and isn't really into partying and going to pubs. I could see her looking a bit uncomfortable and obviously feeling a bit silently judged.

AIBU to wonder why some parents feel they need to be so competitive regarding their kids' social lives?

Maybe to make up for them having no life of their own so they're living vicariously through their children?

I don't see it as boasting necessarily- my parents wouldn't have boasted about me lying in bed with a hangover 🤪. I would see it more as a way of saying that they haven't seen their dc, that they're more interested in socialising than spending time with them and maybe trying to explain why they aren't present at whichever get together you were at?

That just sounds like normal Christmas period chit chat to me. Once they’re past the ‘yes he’s going well in school and enjoys scouts’ phase.

Is it boasting to say your kids have hangovers?

I regard it as foolish to drink until you will have a hangover. Especially if you are out when anything could happen.

They saw your neice proritizing a family event and felt like shit so decided to make your neice feel like shit. I personally would have made several comments back and bigged up my neice for not needing to get drunk to make or keep friends.

Think you’re chippy

No it wasn't just small talk. You probably had to be there to hear the tone of voice, but it was kind of smug and complacent, the same tone they would have used a few years ago for some genuine achievement like their child getting on a school team or doing well in an exam.

How strange that this is seen as boasting, I really don't get it.

I feel a bit when I hear this sort of talk as my son (asd) has no friends. But I don’t see it as boasting, just parents pleased their kids have social lives I guess.

It sounds obnoxious. Just as it's irritating when someone goes on and on (and on) about their child's achievements (academic, athletic, or otherwise)-- only worse, because who brags about their child's amazing ability to... drink alcohol?

I wouldn't call it boasting. My kids are younger but I've said similar about them (minus the alcohol!). Things like "I've hardly seen DS (12) all summer, he's been out with his friends at the skate park everyday". I'm proud that he's got friends and he's happy but wouldn't ever have thought it's boasting?

I see this quite often. Some parents are just casually mentioning it in conversation, but some parents do like to make a point of letting you know that their kids have amazing social lives, tons of friends etc.

I often feel sorry for any siblings of these children who aren't as extrovert and are probably made to feel inferior to their more outgoing brothers or sisters.

A person's success is based upon how extrovert they are and how many social events they attend.

The post is a dig at your niece for being less outgoing. Extroverts tend to be more competitive so will prioritise letting people know about how successful they are.

I have a friend who is always making digs at her daughter who is quiet and introverted. It's awful to see and dreadfully unfair. My friend is an extrovert and was always out partying and part of a big crowd as a teenager.
She can't seem to see that her daughter has a totally different personality and doesn't enjoy crowds and big noisy occasions. She has a small group of close friends and is very into theatre and art house cinema. But my friend would much prefer she was out clubbing and at parties all the time because it would conform more to a 'typical' teenage social life.

You're way overthinking this because you felt sorry for your niece. I have never heard anyone boast about what their kids have been up to. Especially a hangover

Yep I’ve noticed it too. I think it’s pathetic. Usually the type of parent who is competitive in other areas too. I try to ignore but I really want to tell them to grow up.