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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider letting 15yr old travel 250+ miles alone

13 replies

Zoflorabore · 26/12/2018 10:43

I'm posting on AIBU to get opinions which I know will be brutally honest.

Full disclosure-
My ds is 15, will be 16 in March. He has AS and is a very sensible boy.
He supports our local Premiership football team and it's safe to say he's totally obsessed and has a season ticket for home games and travels up and down the country to away games.

This Saturday it's Brighton away. We live on the outskirts of Liverpool so it's a hell of a journey. He has been unable to secure a seat on the official coach that he usually goes on with his godmother and it's too far for us to drive him ( dp is driving him today to the Burnley game which is approx an hour away ) and his godmother has found him a seat on another coach, leaving locally.

He would be dropped at coach this end and collected at coach after the game but he will be on his own for a 6/7 hour long journey on what I believe is "a drinking coach" which he has been on before but only to the midlands. The drinking element of the coach means that drinking is allowed but not everyone does and there are usually plenty of families with children on them.

Ds hates drinking and when he goes to parties he is the one who looks after his friends who do drink so I'm not worried about that. I just feel I may be irresponsible letting him go so far on his own although I'm very aware that the fans all treat eachother like family and would look out for him. His godmother would meet up with him at the game and ds has a phone etc.

Im so torn. He has never ever given me reason for concern and weirdly I don't worry about him as much as I thought I would as like i said before he is very sensible.

Ds is 6ft 1 with a slight beard and appears older than his age which I don't know is a good thing or not and he's very comfortable about going and is used to long journeys with football ( he did Southampton earlier in the year )

Any thoughts please? I don't know what to do. Please don't be too mean as i have seriously bad anxiety and OCD which means I do overthink things in general but I just can't imagine any of his friends being allowed to do this.

Thanks if you've got this far.

OP posts:

caroloro · 26/12/2018 10:46

He'll have a fab time. It's not unreasonable at all. People on the whole are good and kind and helpful.

userschmoozer · 26/12/2018 10:46

Can his godmother swap so he isn't on the drinking coach?

Thespace · 26/12/2018 10:47

The drinking element would concern me. How would he cope if things were getting rowdy/boisterous or there was a fight or something? I wouldn’t like the thought of my child being in their own in that situation for that long.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/12/2018 10:48

He will be fine

Marg0tt · 26/12/2018 10:49

I think the majority will disagree with me but I’d say it’d be fine to go. If he sits, minds his own business with maybe earphones plugged in, no harm will come of him and he won’t be involved in what’s going on in the coach and he’ll be fine especially as he’ll be picked up at both ends.

KateGrey · 26/12/2018 10:50

Is he going to the game with his god mother? I’d say as long as he’s happy on the coach then let him go. Would he be able to cope with the noise if it gets a bit rowdy? I have two with AS so I understand your nerves.

HairyDogsFeet · 26/12/2018 10:51

Can you go on the coach and just have a few hours in Brighton?

That said, I would let mine go.

I used to take my siblings on the train from age 10- they were all younger from the north to the midlands.

Bombardier25966 · 26/12/2018 10:53

I'm torn. I used to go on coaches like this for matches and was fine, but as a young woman the others on the coach would make a fuss and keep an eye on me. If there was a hint of trouble I'd be moved away. I used to love those days out! But I don't know if it would be the same for a male, they may try to include him with the drinking and that's going to make him uncomfortable. Is there someone on the coach you can contact in advance to make sure he's kept an eye on?

I'd also expect the coach to be very noisy. Does he have headphones so he can go into his own space?

BlueJava · 26/12/2018 10:59

If he is ok with the noise and drinking I'll let him go. Provided you are sure he's not going to get paralytic on his own (if someone gives him drink). It would be a great experience for him and he'll feel achievement afterwards :) If it was my DS I think I'd let him.

ItWasntMeItWasIm · 26/12/2018 11:06

I would definitely let him. He sounds very sensible. I travelled with a friend on supporters' coaches at a similar age.

Severide08 · 26/12/2018 12:41

Yes ,we did when my DS was 15 ,he caught a bus and a ferry then another bus to stay with relatives for a month in the school holiday's after they invited him .He had a whale of a time .My DM at the time was mortified ,thought he was too young but he did the journey no problem .Infact he loves travelling him and his DP will often just in the car on their joint day off work and go out for the day .I think it gives then independence. He had his mobile and knew what to do in an emergency .It does depend on the child i do agree on that some are more mature than others but if you think he is capable then you know your child i would def let him go and have a great time .

Yohooo · 26/12/2018 12:51

I think I'd be happy for him to go. He is on a coach so it's not like he can get lost. Apart from swearing I wouldn't expect any problems.

BeanTownNancy · 26/12/2018 12:59

I flew to Germany on my own at about that age. He'll be fine.

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