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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel like more effort was needed

21 replies

Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 10:06

Okay I'm prepared to be flamed.
Ds was 18 yesterday and some people simply just gave him a birthday card or just a cristmas card with money in although it wasn't big amounts really like a tenner or something.
We went out for christmas dinner then back to relatives for where house was decorated etc couple of relatives who didn't come along but where aware it was his 18th didn't give anything not even a card.
Am I been ungrateful.

OP posts:
Belindabauer · 26/12/2018 10:09

Just do the same for them/their dc.
It's all contextual. Some people are generous others aren 't.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 10:14

Yes I know I expect If I had of organised a big party he may of got more but he wasn't bothered about that

OP posts:
CoughLaughFart · 26/12/2018 10:19

It sounds like he’s fallen victim to being a Christmas baby. People either forget to make a fuss about their birthday or do the whole joint present thing. It’s a shame, but I don’t think it’s deliberate. He’ll appreciate your effort though Smile

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 10:22

He said he was happy with what everyone did so it appears to be my concern.

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Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 10:23

I just wanted them to come up trumps because it was his 18th. My mom even put hints in.

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HairyDogsFeet · 26/12/2018 10:46

Are you an 18 or 21 family?

My side are 18 but my DHs are 21.

CatsMother66 · 26/12/2018 11:25

I know exactly how you feel, DS was 11 yesterday and received a £1 selection box from his Aunt for his birthday. On his first birthday most of our siblings did not acknowledge his birthday at all and it hurt. We had DS late in life so for years we both bought nieces and nephews birthday presents over the years. It has never got much better and I still find it upsetting. Just because he is a Christmas Day baby he is always overlooked or has a £1 selection box/last minute prezzie. It hurts, it’s not about the money, it’s always about the lack of thought. I can imagine my niece’s face if we gave her a £1 birthday present in the summer!

TheBigBangRocks · 26/12/2018 11:32

I just wanted them to come up trumps because it was his 18th

He didn't want a party so what were you expecting them to do?

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 14:15

Just put thought into a separate gift for birthday and Christmas especially as it was his 18th. So much thought usually goes into other family milestone birthdays.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 14:16

That's all it is bang

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Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 14:16

Horrible isn't it cats

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HomeMadeMadness · 26/12/2018 14:18

My cousins are Christmas babies (twins). I do think you need to organise a separate celebration on a different day so they get their own time (if they want it).

Moominfan · 26/12/2018 14:18

December baby here, I stretch it out so instead of one day do lots of things over the week, people are stretched financially. Now I'm an adult it doesn't bother me so much but it was naff as a kid.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 14:21

Oh well he is now a adult so I feel its all downhill from next year.

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 26/12/2018 14:21

I think it's a bit mean for them not to mark his birthday in some way, they can hardly forget he was born at Christmas. However some did so take comfort from that.

Wish him many happy returns from me, I'm a new year's eve baby.
For him Brew, legal at last :-).

jessstan2 · 26/12/2018 14:22

PS: I'm hoping that's a pint of beer, doesn't look like it to me. Still, it's the thought that counts.

NonaGrey · 26/12/2018 14:28

Have you considered throwing a half birthday celebration?

My friend has her birthday at Christmas so she celebrates with a party, cards etc in June instead.

Allthewaves · 26/12/2018 14:32

I'd have a celebration at end of Jan. Plaster plan for meal out etc all over fb now. Make a but of a fuss.

JeanieRotten · 26/12/2018 14:40

No, you're not bu at all!
I've a Christmas birthday as well as my 2nd ds and have always found the birthdays get forgotten about or you get a doubled up present for both Xmas & birthday (usually if someone feels bad they forgot the birthday).

I can relate to how you feel about relatives not even acknowledging your ds' birthday but he didn't mind and personally, that's what would really matter to me.

Belated birthday wishes to him! Wine

ILoveMaxiBondi · 26/12/2018 14:48

I think for a Xmas birthday you have to make a point of reminding people who you think will want to acknowledge it. I’m very good with remembering birthdays throughout the year but I have a few relatives who are in and around Xmas and I forget the specific dates every year! I know they’re around Xmas but because December is so focussed on Xmas the birthdays fall further back in my mind. The only one I definitely remembered this year was because the family are having a surprise party and added me to a group on FB.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 26/12/2018 14:56

They go over the top with milestone birthdays even 30th birthdays in my family.

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