BIL (DHs) brother's relationship is on the rocks. They have two small children.
I do not like SIL. They have been together for ten years. We have never fallen out but we have very different values etc. Over the years she has been incredibly rude to my lovely PILs and is incredibly restrictive and difficult with her kids. She also treats BIL incredibly badly holding him to impossible standards which then result in huge rows (every time we see them recently this has happened).
Don't get me wrong BIL is no saint, he is stubborn and can be lazy and selfish. Ultimately I think they just bring out the worst in each other.
SIL hasn't worked for three years due to a fall out with work and subsequent depression and although has some income coming in, this won't last forever.
They have two properties, main family house and flat in Town. They come to Town in the week whilst a nanny stays with the kids and BIL works (their main house is too far for him to commute). Both properties are mortgages and majority owned by SIL.
This lifestyle is completely unsustainable with SIL not working. However she resists any attempt to curb spending/ reduce outgoings, eg give up nanny on the basis that she cannot cope with kids etc.
BIL is constantly moving things around credit cards and would like to leave her but he can't afford a house near where he works and would struggle to look after kids on his own and maintain a job.l in his sector.
So, this is all there own problem and nothing we can do to influence this. So far we have been seeing them as regularly as we can to give them a break, not rocking boat when they're difficult and helping out in paying for small things. I don't think it's any of our business to do anything more, but DH went out for a drink with BIL before Christmas and his first words when he got back we're "if ever there is a candidate for suicide...". I am horrified ! Is there anything more we can or should be doing ? I thought maybe paying for BIL to get some legal or financial advice ?