To feel lonely this Christmas?

[6079SmithW]

I've just put out the DCs presents and I'm on my way to bed. I feel unbearably lonely and sad.
I'm a single parent. My most recent relationship ended in November. I am lonely. Also I feel alone in my loneliness. Everyone I can think of will be with family or loved ones tonight/tomorrow and over the holidays.
I love my DC and they are great company, but they are just children.
AIBU to feel this lonely? Does anyone else feel this way?

I'm lonely too. I live with DP but it makes no difference at this time of year as he turns into an abusive git.

Will be doing Christmas morning just DS and me and have spent tonight alone with wine putting presents under the tree.

Its crap

I'm a single mum to a 16 month old, I won't be spending it with family or friends etc tomorrow either.
In fact the only prezzies here (and that we shall get) are the ones I've brought for my son.
I've held it together all day and broke down tonight. Xx

Do you generally feel lonely smithw or is it just the time of year?

I'm alone too and getting massive waves of sadness which I think IABU about because normally I'm pretty much ok and have a lot to be thankful for.

I'm on my own tonight. First xmas since I kicked my idiot of a husband out. DC are age 9 and 7. Will be strange just the 3 of us tomorrow morning.

Oh lovely, I remember feeling just like you on NYE in 1999. As it turned midnight to the new millennium the whole street were out having a party, and I was the only neighbour not told it was happening. It was hard, I just sat and cried, BUT, now, I am in a much better place. I have DH, had more children, and it got better.
Hopefully it will get better for you too - it's shit right now, but your littles will be so excited later, and you can do exactly as you please and have a lovely time with them.
Just remember, "this too shall pass" it's trite but true, and the DC won't be small forever, you'll get a life back, and who knows what might be waiting for you!
Happy Christmas lovely, have a great day with your children xx

Sorry to hear this . I used to spend Xmas with in-laws which means loads of people who didn’t like me . It was very lonely as mainly I got ignored .Luckily DH is very supportive and now we don’t go there. You aren’t alone if you have DS and Mumsnet : )

I think it’s social media that is making more people feel lonely.

I was alone at Christmas when younger but it didn’t feel that bad, but I didn’t have to read everyone’s posts about how wonderful their lives were.

I’m on my own too.

I’m just finishing the wrapping. Even worse, last year ds got upset because Father Christmas has brought more presents for him than for me and it wasn’t fair. So I’ve been wrapping presents to myself so Ds will think FC has got it right this year.

That makes me a really sad git but with a truly lovely son.

That's not sad at all Senior it'll be lovely for you to open things together!

I'm lucky that DS has lovely grandparents who "help" him get me a gift, if they didn't I would definitely do what you are doing!

Ive just comd to bed, DP is passed out... dreading tomorrow

It's taking me a while to get over my break up which is obviously not helping. And of course the original plan was that my BF would be here for Christmas so it's hurting too.
I think I do definitely feel worse because it's Christmas. Everyone is supposed to be so happy aren't they?
I have seen my DC 'secretly' wrapping up a few of their toys as presents for me which I am dreading being presented with. I know I will cry and I don't want them to think of me or remember me this way.
I am trying to be happy.
I'm sorry that others of you are lonely too, but thank you for taking the time to let me know I'm not on my own

@PinkFizzz
Will you be ok? Your DP won't hurt you will he?
Please don't stay with someone who is abusive

I’m so sorry you guys are feeling sad and alone. Christmas just manages to highlight everything.
I’m not madly excited (as I normally am) due to various things but have to say my gorgeous dd has really boosted me.
I wish you all happiness, love and peace xx

YANBU.
This time will pass. Christmas makes it more difficult because it idealises the perfect family. But you will move forward from here and now.
Happy Christmas.

Pink fizz, why dreading? Are you ok?

Is your dp the bear with a sore head hangover type, not keen on excited present unwrapping at 6am?

I really think it’s social media!
I’ve had Christmas’s as a single mum, some in a happy family with ex DP and DD and some as a single mum with an external DP and all the nice bits (presents etc) but each and every year I felt a fairly deep sadness due to what ever I was lacking.
I’ve taken a massive social media break and I couldn’t be happier for it. I was beaming and giddy with excitement and pride all day at how far me and DD have come. It gets easier, comparison is the thief of joy

OP millions of families are living a Lonely and sad lie, you are liberated rejoice in not being weighed down by torment and being able/brave enough to do what you want

Oh pinkfizz

Sorry to hear you're feeling lonely OP. Can you get out and about in the park or anywhere outdoors tomorrow morning? It might make you feel better to get some fresh air and exercise. Christmas seems a lonely time often because it seems like everyone else is having a perfect time. But believe me it's not all perfect on the inside! I've had a couple of rows with husband yesterday already and a couple of skirmishes with teen son, who can be very hurtful and I worry he's turning into his father!

Congratulate yourself for being a lovely mum and treat yourself as much as you can over the Christmas period with anything that makes you feel good.

Smith how lively that your children are wrapping toys for you, that would make me cry too. You have obviously brought them up to be kind and thoughtful

I'll be ok, he wont hurt me but he's emotionally abusive. He'll either get up full of remorse for the way he behaved when he got home or will stay in his pit. I dont care either way atm.

I think PPs are right about social media, I see so many photos of happy couples posing in front of Christmas trees and family get togethers and its a nasty reminder that I have nobody to enjoy similar with even though hell would freeze over before I put anything like that on facebook.

I hope all of you manage a happy and peaceful day tomorrow

How did everyone cope today? I got through the day more or less ok. I'm back to crying to myself now though

Just one day. Tomorrow there will be ads for the sales.

I don't invest too much in it really, but it is a nice day even if it is alone or without the beasties that have made your life difficult.

Such expectations for a day long gig just the same. Do not let them win is what I would say.

Sorry to hear this OP. Loneliness is horrible, I can relate. I'm trying to think, the worst is over now. Xmas day, from tomorrow things will slowly go back to 'normal'. Tonight/ next few days could you maybe distract yourself with something. Go out, watch a movie, read a book. Take it one day at a time. Maybe also try and avoid social media as much as possible as PP have highlighted

Actually managed a nice morning. After DPs antics last night I left him in bed and got up with DS for presents. Partner was in a much better mood when he got up and brought me a glass of wine and an apology. His behaviour is by no means forgotten but I decided its best to let it go for now and discuss when the pressure of Christmas has gone a bit.

Spent the rest of the day with my family and was spoiled with the most beautiful smiles from my baby nephew, that was the best part of today.