Bloody Christmas Eve. I've got the wrong type of family! (Lighthearted)

[dorsetdollymixture]

I want the kind of family the goes for strolls through town to see the twinkling lights, then has a yummy dinner followed by board games and an Xmas movie. Kids would be excitable yet biddable. My DH looking adoringly on at me and his offspring. Maybe offering me a festive glass of bubbly.
Instead, he has been panic buying presents for his family, which involved a ridiculous amount of time sat in traffic, and has now covered the kitchen in dead bird whilst getting the turkey ready for tomorrow. He's quiet at the best of times. All I've got out of him today are grunts and the odd "you bloody do it then". My mother is here. She's a odd woman who drives me crackers, and though she adores her DGC, she really struggles with them being the boisterous little feckers that they are, god love 'em. Oh my DC's. Trying everyday to destroy my house one item at a time. Xmas day is spent with my crackers DM, my farting FIL and drunken MIL, with their stinky dog. I'll try to watch the TV that will be on all day, but won't actually get to follow any of the shows as MIL never bloody shuts up.
I'm a very lucky person. I have a home, we have food, we have healthy DC's. It's all good. But just once I'd like it to be "perfect". Instead I'm off to mainline Ferraro Rocher and drown my sorrows in prosecco, or rather I will be if my DC ever go the fuck to sleep!

I know exactly what you mean. I'm very lucky too, in lots of ways but have realised more and more the older I get, how much my low self esteem is down to my family, I'm always bottom of the pile because I'm the best behaved!!! I just heard today that my DF and DB are going to be out on Boxing Day even though we are travelling a decent way to see everyone. I'm with the IL on Christmas Day and I do love them but their house isn't very toddler friendly so there won't be much rest! I have lots of ideas as to how Chrismas should be but it never ever works out. Hope you manage to have a good time anyway...and lots of

Ah well, now I had the seemingly perfect Christmas Eve. Lazy morning with my son, wrapped presents for my parents, posted cards to elderly neighbors on the way to my parents' house, had lovely lunch there, opened a few presents, went for early evening walk around the neighborhood to look at people's decorations, back home, lit a fire, hot chocolate, marshmallows and cream and extra marshmallows for toasting on the fire whilst watching The Snowman. Friends popped in as they were passing whilst also wandering around the neighborhood looking at lights. They stayed 20 minutes. My DS announced at 6:25 that he was ready for bed. Put snacks out for Santa. Read The Grinch and The Night Before Christmas and he was asleep just after 7. Presents under tree by 8:30, I was in bed reading by 9. Sigh. What a perfect day. Except...

Every aspect of it was stressful in its own way. Mainly due to my DS being an over-tired, over-excited 5 yr old and my parents just being my parents. Oh and me not having the necessary patience to deal with either of those things.

So, whilst I understand your point, I do think these things are often much better in theory than in practice.

It's taken me a long time to realise I have to love the family I have and not try to make it into the one I imagine in my head. I also have to repeat to myself constantly to ignore the social media bollocks and #perfectfamily crap that others post as there was probably stress there too!!

God don’t we all wish that.
I just had a blazing row with my sibling who said that they wished the trains were running tomorrow so I would fuck off home. To which I agreed!
Over nothing. Literally nothing

I've given up wishing for the perfect Christmas. As I type, DS is fast asleep in bed, having been there since 8pm. No, he's not a youngster, he's sodding 21 and went and had one too many sherries last night. DH is snoring loudly in bed, again too many sherries. So I guess I'm not going to be sleeping tonight as I've lost my earplugs. Only one thing for it.... pass the sherry please!

My mums a pita, especially at Xmas tv watching time but we're at my in-laws and I miss my mum lol. Everything's far too polite here and I won't get to play monopoly with my dad tomorrow.....sad

Dh is having his usual Christmas sulk and picking at everything and everyone. Dd(21) said she wanted a family night in tonight then started moaning around 10 that all her mates were out having a great time and regretting that she didn’t join them. I have to be up at 6am tomorrow to wash my elderly bed bound mum. I honestly can’t wait until Boxing Day when Dh is back at work and dd is at her boyfriend’s parents home. I intend to sit quietly and read a good book.

Ooh me too!
Christmas Eve walk with a quiet, excited, but in a cute way, not a mental way, child. Home for board games, baking mince pies and singing Christmas songs. A nice Christmas film and story before bed.

Instead child has been screaming non stop, has pooed himself countless times (potty training is now entering its 6th bastard year and all gran can say is ‘be consistent’ I am consistent he just doesn’t want to bloody do it!) I’ve yelled that if he doesn’t go to bed/stop climbing the house/stop making the dog be a reindeer IM GOING TO CANCEL BLOODY CHRISTMAS ANYWAY! So gran tells me off because shouting upsets her.
Then we all go to bed in a huff and I whisper yell to child to go to sleep every 12.7 seconds.
Tomorrow will be worse as demon sibling will arrive.

Today I have done nothing except drink Buck’s Fizz, watch Xmas films and play with dd. We’ve had nice food, baths, new pj’s and she is fast asleep and Santa has arrived.
All good except she is in my bed along with 4 build a bears and a doll. I have about 6” of bed and my right arm is dead as she is sleeping on it! The cat has now invaded and is lying on my chest and I can’t reach my sherry!

I thought that was ‘food baths’ for a second and thought that sounded amazing. You need a long bendy sherry straw

Christmas is halfway over already in my part of the world.

I’ve learnt not to have any real expectations of peace/goodwill/Christmas spirit with my family, I just carve out an hour for myself somewhere across the 24-26th dec. I have a piece of my fancy terrine, a glass of sparkling Shiraz and my watercolour paints set up. Bing Crosby playing, air-conditioner on, drowning out the sounds of family downstairs.

I think the prime contenders for ‘Christmas killer’ moments so far have been DH & MIL bitching and moaning through the perfectly lovely children’s Christmas mass (apparently it’s been dumbed down too much, catering to families instead of Latin-speaking elderly bachelor priests???) and the moment when DH presented my parents with a gift in Santa wrap (the one I hid away), thus ruining DD’s belief in Christmas magic for the rest of time. So, pretty standard fare around here.

Oh, and someone’s rearranged our nativity set up (which I love and spend ages on). Now the Holy Family are mere bit-players at a concert being held by all the farm animals, it seems. The angels have disappeared altogether. I don’t blame them.

OP thankyou for this. I had the same vision but ended up ill in bed at 8.30 pm (fucking virus I've had for a month has resurrected itself). started off well today with a short trip to get last pressies (done much later than planned as I've been ill) but then lost voice, got hot and clammy and feeling shit.
Kids leaving me with DM,who is sweet but hard work and kept trying to talk at/to me and expecting detailed answers (that she never listens to, or that have to be shouted owing to poor hearing,and that are impossible with no voice -so ended up pointing at throat mouthing 'i can't speak!!!!!' for the millionth time. )
DH and DS not able to find santa sacks, after much theatrical searching through loft tonight. though I know they are in the loft, couldn't find them so we've (me actually) resorted to pillowcases instead of the lovely trad homemade ones we've used for years (but that I've not prepped because I've been fucking ill for 4 sodding WEEKS - did I mention that?).

DD (back home for a few precious days) has cooked dinner and forgot veggies, bless her. I'm the one that seems to start conversation and set the mood so they are all quiet and grumpy at the dinner table too.
DH now grumpy as hell and has avoided me all day (prob not helped by his DF not being able to come as he's ill - his DM can't come because she's just odd and difficult). I just know my DM is driving him nuts.

And now I've woken up and can't sleep, so will feel even worse for the lovely houseful coming tomorrow.
Am so lucky to have lovely family, super friends and a pile of pressies under the tree but am feeling grumpy and finding it hard to count blessings. need a slap to pull me to my senses (figuratively, not literally please).

Note to self - drastically reduce expectations for Christmas next year.

rant over. thanks for listening. and if you didn't listen, I don't blame you.

Happy Christmas everyone

Hi

This is an old thread and I’m not sure how I found it but OMG yes I feel like this ! I’m sorry if I’ve broken a MN rule by replying to it.
I think you are very polite OP! I now hate Christmas and a lot of it is due to this feeling that it’s all false . My own family have this ‘we are perfect’ front but that exists because the black sheep keep their mouths shut about the favouritism .
Now I have adult children . I’m glad that they still want to spend time with us but they want a recreation of the christmasses they remember which is a lot of work !

Now my kids are grown up I realise the perfect Xmas seen in movies and adverts rarely happens and certainly not all at once. And I don't think my kids were ever bothered anyway.