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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU...the same gift for the third time

26 replies

MrsBuckettt · 24/12/2018 21:53

A relative of mine gave me a Christmas gift today. A gift set with hand cream and lip balm. Which is nice.

Except they gave me the same thing last year. And the year before. And not just me either - my two sisters received exactly the same.

On every occasion, clearance stickers have been peeled off, which means they were probably heavily reduced and said relative stocked up while they were cheap. There is also a date on the back - 2015.

I like a bargain as much as the next person and I don't care what people spend on me, but I can't help thinking that giving someone the same gift three times is a bit odd. Or maybe I'm a present snob?

I personally go to a bit of effort for this relative and try and get a unique present to show I've put some thought into it.

OP posts:

Bunbunbunny · 24/12/2018 21:55

Maybe they don’t have the funds so go shopping in the sales, what’s wrong with that?

BottleOfJameson · 24/12/2018 21:57

Maybe they don’t have the funds so go shopping in the sales, what’s wrong with that?

To be fair they can buy something new in the sales each year they must have been storing hundreds of those!

Original poster

MrsBuckettt · 24/12/2018 21:57

I don't want an expensive gift, but it's the same gift for the third year in a row....and they were obviously all bought at the same time, 3 years ago.

OP posts:

NotANotMan · 24/12/2018 21:57

Going shopping in the sales is fine. Buying dozens of the same thing and doling them out year after year to the same people is weird.

Santababyclaus · 24/12/2018 21:59

Give it back to them next Christmas?

Petalflowers · 24/12/2018 22:01

My Dm buys presents (tat) in the sales or in bargain shops and then will give them out over the year. Hopefully she hasn’t given the same gift to a person twice though.

Maybe you expressed your thanksmfor the present,, so they thought you would like another one. Hazel

Are the relatives older? In the past, toiletries didn’t have expiry dates, so maybe they didn’t think about this.

Petalflowers · 24/12/2018 22:02

Not sure where Hazel came from.

LemonSqueezy0 · 24/12/2018 22:02

My SIL and BIL, no financial issues, have given my DSS the exact same, inappropriate gift for the last few Christmases. He literally can't use it, and they know this. It's odd and passive aggressive but after trying to raise it the first year, we now just smile and say thanks. Yet again someone will have a great find at the charity shop come February.

Do you think it's malicious, or P. A though? Or a budgetary issue? Maybe say to them next year should you stop gifts, taking the pressure off. Or just continue taking pleasure in buying great gifts for them.

Original poster

MrsBuckettt · 24/12/2018 22:02

They're only 60

OP posts:

AGHHHH · 24/12/2018 22:04

I don't expect anything at Christmas but I'd prefer nothing to that. It's thoughtless and screams "we won't have to worry about putting 2 minutes of thought into something for them for a few years".

giftsonthebrain · 24/12/2018 22:08

maybe you gave them the impression that you liked it so much so they purposefully repeat the gift year after year?
i request fancy soaps and would happily receive the same gift year after year. i love using them up :)

JumpingJunipersBatman · 24/12/2018 22:10

My grandad bought me something once and I said how lovely it was. He went back and bought all the stock the shop had and I got the same present every birthday and Christmas for years. funny thing was, I was only being polite in the first place. 😂 He did it because he thought I liked it and it was in his budget.

Sarahjconnor · 24/12/2018 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katseyes7 · 24/12/2018 22:28

One of my cousins used to give her sister the same M & S Royal Jelly stuff every year. She wasn't keen on it the first time but as you do, "oh, thank you, that's really nice...." hence the flurry of the same thing for years on end.
l had a friend a few years ago who was very comfortable financially, but used to buy things in sales with no thought or consideration who they'd be suitable for, stash them, then gift them at Christmas and birthdays.

bellie710 · 24/12/2018 22:30

My MIL buys me the same thing every birthday, it is Clarins and very nice but I don't use it, it has gone too far now to say anything!

MsLexic · 24/12/2018 22:30

As someone who received the same fucking Patti Smith album for 4 years running I would be grateful.You know the one where she is showing her armpittage.
Say it with Patti Smith... I mean would you?

greenpop21 · 24/12/2018 22:33

I guess you would get through the lip balm and hand cream so need a new one? Thought that counts. I like hand cream and lip balm so would be ok with that.

ShannonRockallMalin · 24/12/2018 22:35

My MIL does this - she gets a present theme in her head and carries it on for years. This year I am expecting the same hand cream she has given me for at least 5 years. I do like it but don’t get through it that quickly, and have a tube of the stuff in every handbag, the car, work desk etc etc.

whiteworld · 24/12/2018 22:36

I keep a spreadsheet of presents - what we give to people - so I can be sure we don’t repeat pressies. There’s no excuse!

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 24/12/2018 22:43

A spreadsheet?yikes that is hardcore
I regift pressies I don’t like or need,pop the name of the giver on back so I don’t inadvertently give them their gift

arranbubonicplague · 24/12/2018 22:50

Clarins and very nice but I don't use it, it has gone too far now to say anything!

Skin can change quite a lot so that might be a way of introducing the need for a rethink?

SadOtter · 24/12/2018 22:53

Had cream and lip balm run out though, so maybe they know you like that brand and just figured you would have run out by now.

My poor Dad has got the same shower gel and after shave every birthday and Christmas for 20+ years. My grandmother decided he liked it and he always made some comment about how lovely it was, so when she died my brother started buying it for Dad instead. Thing is Dad hates that fragrance, it was his brother who liked it

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 24/12/2018 23:02

I get the same " nice" skin wash every year from a favourite aunt. The only thing is that it's obviously for those that wear make up. I never have worn a smidge my entire life. But she does wear lots and always has.
I suspect she is buying something she feels is a fantastic gift. My friends I give it to after Christmas agree it's fab stuff. So actually I am very very happy she can bothered to get anything, appropriate for me or not.
I think there's pressure to give "something". Set her free. Tell her you aren't ding presents for environmental reasons

Orchiddingme · 24/12/2018 23:09

This is not a nice gift. Hand creams go off and often smell quite bad when they are out of date by a year or more. She's giving you old cheap off hand cream or whatever.

mindutopia · 24/12/2018 23:11

Ah yes, MIL gives we the same cheap hand cream and soaps every Christmas and birthday. It isn’t even a brand I like and nothing special (ordinary stuff you’d find in Boots).

One Christmas it literally fell out of the back of her boot while she was unloading the shopping and dh’s uncle who was driving up the drive at just that moment actually ran it over with his car. Still got it Christmas morning though, mangled gift box crushed by car tyres and all. Even that didn’t stop her.

Fortunately, my dh has now impressed upon her that I like alcohol more that cheap soaps, so this year I just got wine.

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