To wish a happy birthday on a 'remembering' FB page?

[Onehotminute]

What is the etiquette in this case? A friend sadly passed away earlier this year and with his birthday also being Christmas, this is a difficult time for the family. His Facebook page has been memorialised and as such, you can still post and people did around the time of the funeral.

What are your thoughts on sending a message as if to my friend? I feel its a little like talking to him when I'm on my own. Is it more appropriate to extend condolences to the family? Or not do this in such a public way?

For context, after the family informed close friends of the death, an announcement was made via Facebook and there was an outpouring of comments in response.

Do whatever you feel is acceptable. People have different ways of expressing grief.

Personally I think it is tacky to 'memorialise' on Facebook etc. But each to their own.

A 'You are in my thoughts' type message would be appropriate. "Happy birthday ' wouldn't be.

I must be tacky then, as I have ‘memorialised’ my late husband’s Facebook page. I think the family would appreciate if you simply said you were thinking of your late friend, on her birthday. One of the different things that go along with the obvious grief, is the fact that people stop talking about the person you’ve lost. It feels as if they never existed to others. That’s hard.

i always put a comment on my deseased friends Facebook on their birthday, not on the day they died as i want to remember them in a happier time

I have friends whose young adult DS died a few years ago, and every year friends post on his birthday - they say "Happy birthday" or "thinking of you today" or simply a heart.

I don't think it would be wrong to wish your friend a happy birthday. Or instead to say you're remembering them on this day. Etc. I don't know what I'd think if I was their family, I'm not in their shoes. I hope to never be memorialised on fb because I hate fb and what it has stood for, for me. I'm sorry for your loss. It's not easy x

PositivelyPERF I'm sorry for your loss and understand why you might set the page to remember your late husband. Thank you for the reminder about continuing to talk. We have tried to be mindful of not overwhelming the family, nor making them feel they are alone.