Boyfriend insulting but making out it’s a joke?!

[Mytype]

Me and my partner been together for 5 years and we have a 2 year old.
But lately he makes me feel crap about myself.
He always makes remarks about my hair, my clothes. Today, he has called me greedy twice.
The recent time we were feeling our Xmas presents trying to guess, and we said we would open one each. I said to open this one of his because it was just a stocking filler (sweets) and he turned around and said I only want him to open it because I’m greedy and want some!
I was in shock because why be so nasty?
Whenever I say anything it’s always I’m overreacting or it was a joke and stop being so serious

It's only a joke if the person on the receiving end finds it funny. Otherwise it's just being a nasty gobshite.

Nasty. Is he generally nice to you? Have you told him to stop it?

He’s up and down sometimes he’s okay with me but sometimes makes remarks. Iv tried to sit down with him and it’s like sitting down with a child he goes in a mood and says “alright” like a child

Sounds like a joke to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

The example you have given isn't an insult, whether you think it is a joke or not

If you’ve told him you don’t like it, he’s horrible to continue.

He’s just said to me it’s was a joke and he won’t say anything anymore if I’m taking things seriously 😑

Unless there's more to it than what you've said... 😬

Don't react. It's a form of bullying and the more reaction he gets the more he'll do it. Just glance at him and say 'hilarious' or 'how witty'. He'll either get it or he'll escalate. If he escalates, you know what to do.

Sounds like a joke to me

I bet he doesn't like it when you make jokes/remarks about him though?

It sounds like you have 2 children.

You were in shock?
He was so nasty?
Sorry but he made a joke about you wanting his sweets... in a minute the LTB brigade will be jumping on it 🤦🏼‍♀️
Talk to your partner seriously and properly if it bothers you that much FGS

If you want to stay with him, pull him up on it every time he does it.

When I felt rubbish about myself comments I would normally take as a joke became hurtful.

When confident I would be like "sure do want the sweets, yum!"

If feeling a bit rubbish it would feel like a dig/insult.

May not be relevant but mentioning just in case xx

IAmWoman

Re-read the OP, particularly the bit below

But lately he makes me feel crap about myself.
He always makes remarks about my hair, my clothes*

It's not just one 'joke'

OP, you would do well to move this thread to Relationships.

Doesn't sound like a joke to me, that was a personal insult, not even a bad taste joke. Well I would perceive it in that way anyway. Call him out on it and tell him that if he has something to say to you, to be brave and actually say it rather than dress it up as a joke.

Can I just say he knows I’m self conscious about my weight, and today I make a meal plan to get healthier for my son. And he looked at it and said yeah right we will see.

Op, is he a good man and a good father generally?
Prove him wrong, stick to your healthy food plan and then you can stick it to him. 😁

Wow OP, your bf is a hater! Just ignore him, he is probably projecting

Sounds like a HUGE overreaction from you...

Sounds like an over reaction to me too.
The fact you said 'I was in shock' suggests that he isn't generally unkind to you, yet, you've said recently he has been making some comments that have upset you - which is it ?

I wouldn't have been upset if my dh said something like that to me - I'd probably acknowledge he had a point. He wouldn't if I said it to him either.
If that is an example of things he says, then it really isn't nasty. If that was a bad example and other thingsare nasty, then that is a time to have a conversation about what has changed and how you feel.

I take it from this that you’re overweight, sensitive about it, and your partner makes repeated jibes/ ‘jokes’ about it

Yanbu, it's called negging - Google it, did it sound like him?

He is belittling you. He'll never recognise what he is doing.

Either, ignore it or respond in kind.

Improve yourself for yourself, not for any belittling prick.