Grandparents buying too many toys

[RedRobin87]

DD is nearly three, she was the only grandchild (she isn't now) but since birth, my parents have gone overboard with toys and gifts.

They will buy stuff without asking for no reason and then get offended if I say we don't want it or don't need it.

Our house is full of toys, most of which they have purchased. If we put away anything they got DD, when they next come around they ask why it isn't out.

Yet again, they have gone overboard for Christmas, I know some of what they have purchased but they keep buying more. I asked them not to do this and I was told I am ungrateful.

It's getting to the point that I am fed up with it now, DD doesn't need so many toys, she I bring spoiled and we are running out of room. Our garage is getting full of toys, mainly what we got for her but got lost in the sea of other toys and forgotten!

What am I meant to do? They clearly aren't listening to me saying not to keep buying things!

‘Oh that’s lovely, can we keep it at yours for when we come to play?’

‘We are running out of space for toys but would you like to contribute to their swimming class/tumble tots etc’

My mum is the same, I've started packing the crap toys she buys and taking it round there for my daughter to play with when she goes.

She doesn't listen, we don't need anything. I have a separate playroom and it's still full of stuff. My mum bought her two kitchens FGS! One for the Wendy house and one for the playroom.

I'm forever clearing out, putting in the loft, taking it to hers or donating to charity!

I feel your pain. She just doesn't listen....

Can you not eBay the stuff she’s grown out of or doesn’t use and use the money to start a saving account for when she’s 18 or whatever? That’s what I’ve always done with my kids old stuff. It adds up quickly and it’s always handy to have something to give your kids a head start with

It's a bother (for me at least, I find ebaying really stressful) but the eBay idea sounds a good idea, specially as you can chuck it all straight back into the packaging and keep it nice.

I try to get family to leave certain things round theirs for when we visit.

This week we've moved into a new and tiny flat, so I've told people not to buy toys.

I think most have adhered to that, kids don't need anything at all right now but they've been sent a few Amazon vouchers which is useful.

If they won't listen, just send stuff back to their youse or eBay it. If they get upset, try writing down what you've tried to tell them. Make sure they understand you love them but that they aren't listening to you. Reiterate the thing about contributing to tumble tots etc.

we have started a new rule this year - 1 present per child and it has to fit in Ryanair cabin baggage, because we are drowning in mountains of plastic crap and half used toys

1 set of GP's are pretty good at following instructions but the others are now pissed off that when we went to collect the presents at the weekend, we left the second, massive present with them and said DS can have it for his birthday.

the only way to get through to them is to get tough and stick to your guns.

You've been polite, they've ignored.

You need to accept it and quietly bin / charity shop / re-sell or start making the point more rudely.

Some threads on dieting have similar problems (e.g. the relative who arrives with crazy levels of sweets and cakes despite being asked not to bring/leave them there = dump it in the bin in front of them after 1 warning as they leave, and stick to the Same message every time).

If you want to change it, do something equally clear and unequivocal. Keep a box by the front door labelled"charity shop" and if they arrive, put it in there, but remind them about your chat as you do it "now uncle Bob, we talked about this, we don't have room and DC are becoming spoiled, into the charity shop donation it goes".
If they try giving it to your kids first, intervene. If it's too late, do it as they leave, tantrum or not - but make the point about it being their fault "oh dear Sally you've got to put that in the special box now, silly uncle Bob has forgotten our talk again, into the charity shop donation box it goes"... Repeat repeat each time.

I guarantee there won't be a third time.

What you do about it depends on what they’re getting. My aunt tends to spoil my 8 yo dn with expensive jewellry (real gold, diamonds etc because it’s the Indian thing to do for a girl) and her parents struggle to cope with looking after it all but considering each piece tends to cost £300 as a minimum nobody’s going to be binning it or putting it into a charity shop. If your dp are giving stuff that’s disposable — ie things that are too young for her etc just give it away.

The ecosystem is on its knees we don’t want any more fucking plastic shit bought for our child, we’d like her to have a world to live in in her old age.

Hellbent - I agree

My mum has got twenty presents for one child I’ve not counted the other . I get it

My MIL was exactly like this.
My parents are the complete opposite, just put some money in DS bank which is what I ask them to do.
MIL goes bloody crazy on tat! Despite saying don't buy anything she does not listen and buys mountains of crap. I realise this makes me sound ungrateful but I've specifically asked her not to buy it! Birthdays as well as Christmas I must add!
Anyway 2 years ago I got so fed up with all the rubbish that kept on coming I told her that we can't store all this stuff in our house as we just have no space left, so from now on whatever she bought would have to stay at her house. Worked a treat - the number of gifts dramatically reduced at next birthday!

My mum is same. So many chronic spenders around in that generation, maybe because they didn't get much themselves. I am grateful as she's saved us a lot of money but it can feel overwhelming.