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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask why you only go to Church at Christmas?

72 replies

LeilaDarling · 24/12/2018 10:59

Ok, prob going to get roasted here BUT out of slight annoyance and curiosity please can you tell me why you go to Church at Christmas yet not the rest of the year?
Have had various texts from friends saying they are going to Church services tonight yet some either a)are atheist/do not believe
b) don’t step in a Church at any other time in the Year.
I was brought up strict Catholic and attended Church weekly for my whole childhood. Have left the faith behind as an adult and therefore do not go to Church just because it’s Christmas.

OP posts:
NonaGrey · 24/12/2018 11:53

The churches don’t mind. They are happy to welcome visitors at any time for Christmas or Easter or Remembrance Sunday or Christenings/Weddings/Funerals.

Some people go because it’s traditional or because it keeps their family happy or because it takes them back to their childhood.

Other people go because they like the carolling, the nativity play or the atmosphere.

It doesn’t matter. All are welcome. If they find additional comfort or peace then that’s lovely.

Branleuse · 24/12/2018 12:04

yeah i love all the pomp and ceremony, and if theres one things christians do well its the hymns and the carols.

moanymoaner · 24/12/2018 12:11

I thought this yesterday - about myself . I want to go to the christingle service tonight , my children don't so I won't make them and will probably go alone but I love the Christmas carols , I like our local church and what they do for our community , just because I don't choose to go regularly doesn't mean I shouldn't if I want to- after all church is one of those types of places isn't it.

InSightMars · 24/12/2018 12:15

What are you slightly annoyed about? Because people don't make the same choices you do?

It doesn't have to be all or nothing when you leave your faith behind. You can still find beauty and meaning in tradition, ritual and atmosphere. The music and carols are also particularly lovely at Christmas. For me it's partly nostalgia, I'm not pretending to be something I'm not, I left behind the faith long ago but I didn't leave behind the feeling of community and spirit of goodwill to all men which are especially strong at this time of year and I don't have to believe in God to know Christmas is a festival where all are welcome.

MyNameIsNotSteven · 24/12/2018 12:33

DD is reading. I'm not religious but I do like Christmas tradition. The church at Christmas is part of our culture.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/12/2018 12:34

the churches don't mind

Way more than that. We are DELIGHTED to see the visitors, friends of family!

Dh and I are doing the service tomorrow. The prayers (I'm doing them - are about love joy, worries - praying about job insecurity/brexit/for the people who died in the tsunami - not finished writing them yet Grin)

The shortest talk in the world (not a sermon is about gifts, the children will talk about what they got). There are 5 carols.

It will be an hour of us celebrating the joy and peace that Christmas brings

Everyone is welcome - properly welcome.

Oddsocksandmeatballs · 24/12/2018 12:36

I don't. I don't go at all. I have no religion, in fact quite the opposite since I watched my sister live an awful death at the age of 3, no 'God' could want a child to die in such a way so I don't go to church. I used to believe but no more.

Dairyqueen2 · 24/12/2018 12:41

For the tradition and continuity. When we sing things like 'o come o come Emmanuel' it affects me a lot to think that this has been sung for 1,000 years each Christmas with hardly (any) a break

Popfan · 24/12/2018 12:44

We go to the crib service. It's lovely and feels like the whole village is crammed in the church. It is also the reason for Christmas so although we aren't church goers it's nice to have a nod to the true meaning.

ricepolo · 24/12/2018 12:57

Oddsocks, so sorry to hear of what youve been through. I can’t imagine what that must have been like.

At the risk of derailing the thread, I don’t believe God did want that to happen. At all. It’s not how He made the world to be (the Garden of Eden). That’s why He sent Jesus: when Jesus died and was brought back to life he beat death and all the other bad stuff in the world. That’s why Christians celebrate Christmas: because with Jesus coming into the world we have visible proof God loves us and has given us a way out of all the darkness in this world.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 24/12/2018 13:00

I’d love to be going to the service this evening. Out and out atheist, but love the music and the joy of carols. I’m not going, for many reasons, but I’ll be going next year if possible.

Enjoy the services if you’re going tonight.

JammyTodger · 24/12/2018 13:00

I go at Christmas because I like it. (Harks back to childhood, love the carols etc) I don't go any other time because I'm an atheist and would hate it.

Pogmella · 24/12/2018 13:07

My mum always took me. Since she died I go to Carols just to take an hour or so to remember her. Usually end up in tears.

thethoughtfox · 24/12/2018 13:08

A midnight mass is so romantic. Few people could fail to be moved by the joy and singing and glow of candles.

SchrodingersUnicorn · 24/12/2018 13:11

You could ask why people celebrate Christmas at all if they aren't Christian. It is literally a celebration of the birth of Christ, and all the traditions (the food, gifts, Santa etc) are built on that. Of course you could celebrate the Winter solstice instead but it would look very different. So if you're celebrating a Christian festival as part of your heritage, then surely it is perfectly sensible (and respectful) to go to church.

Pompombears2 · 24/12/2018 13:18

I'm not religious! In fact religion makes me feel really uncomfortable. But I'd like my children to experience going to church at Christmas. I used to as a kid (and also every Sunday!) and I have nice memories of singing carols etc.. I'd like my DC to experience other religions as well, help them see what is out there and wag people do and what they believe and what religion I should all about. DS (7) reckons he's a Christian, so would be nice for him especially to experience what christians do, and Christmas seems a good time as they have been learning the Christmas story at school.

(If I didn't have kids I'd never ever set foot in a church as as an adult, they make my spine tingle.)

LackOfAdhesiveDucks · 24/12/2018 13:20

A couple of reasons, even though I consider myself an atheist. I like the atmosphere. I really like singing the carols. I stay at my parents’ house for Christmas and we went to the small village church every Sunday for my whole childhood and it’s nice to see some of the people from when I was small. It’s just a nice way to spend Christmas Eve.

LagerthaTheShieldMaiden · 24/12/2018 13:30

It doesn't seem very Christian of you to want to turn people away from church at Christmas.

ivykaty44 · 24/12/2018 13:34

I’m going to the pub to sing carols as I avoid church where possible. www.whychristmas.com/customs/carols_history.shtml

Before you start deciding that carols are Christian, they aren’t

AnnaMariaDreams · 24/12/2018 13:36

Off to the Christingle shortly. We don’t just go at Christmas but only go a few times a year. Last went on Remembrance Sunday.
I love the atmosphere, singing Carols, the candlelit Church. It’s the start of Christmas to me.
I guess I’m a cultural Christian. I have friends who are cultural Jews / Hindus- as in they respect their heritage with certain traditions -without necessarily being believers. Why shouldn’t I do the same?

BurntOrange1 · 24/12/2018 13:38

Why are you worried about being roasted, OP? You are allowed to talk about religion! If people struggle to hear it, it isn't something you need to worry about.

We have free speech in the UK, don't we!?

I pray that you find your own way back to God soon.

Talkingfrog · 24/12/2018 13:45

We are the opposite, we go to church each week, but don't make it for the crib service or on Christmas day as we are with family.
We took part in a nativity themed service on Sunday. There are not enough children to do a proper nativity but they are involved in an activity talking about the meaning of Christmas. There are usually{ a few extra children, but this week there wasn't so we had three 7 year olds, a three yr old and one yr old.
We are at my parents Christmas eve and Christmas morning so unfortunately don't make the services on those days. Anyone would be welcomed though if thry come on a regular basis or have never been before. I x a n understanding and why people may want to go a Christmas even if they don't t normally though.

peakSafeSpace · 24/12/2018 13:47

"The songs that they sing have nice chords but the lyrics are dodgy."

I like the candles and the singing.

Religion, on the whole, is poisonous nonsense. I do love a good midnight mass though.

noodlenosefraggle · 24/12/2018 13:48

Op is a lapsed Catholic who doesn't go to church. She's not annoyed because non religious people go to church. I'm a lapsed Catholic to. I made my kids come with me to our local c of E church just because culturally I'd like them to know my traditions. DH's family are secular Jewish so Christmas was just a big family dinner with presents whereas we went to midnight Mass and did the whole shebang.

AllYeFaithful · 24/12/2018 13:59

Why are you annoyed?

I go to midnight mass most years (not this year unfortunately) ....and I’m an atheist.

I go because I was raised a Catholic, so mass is a childhood tradition that I enjoy for nostalgic reasons despite not believing in Christianity. And because I love music, singing, candlelight & good cheer Grin.

I have a good friend who is evangelical and knows my views, but I am welcomed in to her church at Christmas (went to an amazing gospel concert the other evening) and no questions asked. Even the pastor welcomed me happily in to his church knowing I am 100% not a believer.