My mum texted me to ask if she could take my DDs to see Mary Poppins with her sister and granddaughters.
To be honest I’m pretty hurt and annoyed by this request. My girls love Mary Poppins as did I, so surely it’s a given that I would want to share this new film with them?
She and her sister like to do stuff together with their grandchildren which I can understand, and it’s nice for them, and the girls, and I could tag along too, I suppose, but it’s just not the same, for the grandmas who I’m sure would prefer I didn’t come, or for me.
For the record DM sees my kids a lot - every Friday, most Sundays and a lot during school holidays. But she only occasionally has them alone. She’d gladly have them a lot more but I’m apparently controlling and don’t like all the crap she feeds them or the constant TV.
It sounds petty and daft, but I feel like when she’s with us I can’t enjoy my children as much. It’s like she’s there in front, and she ‘steals’ moments from me. I know that sounds ridiculous but I can’t think of a better way to explain how she makes me feel. She has an utterly annoying habit of talking over me when I am talking to my kids. If I’m answering a question of theirs she’ll just butt in and answer it herself, even if I’m telling them off she’ll talk over me. It’s like she thinks I’m still a child, and she always knows best and I'm incapable. I do genuinely believe she’s not intending to be nasty and that she loves us all to bits and would do anything for us, but I often leave her company feeling inadequate, like she thinks I’m still an incapable child. I know I’m drifting from the point now and I’m feeling a bit mentally fragile at the moment (something she has no idea about, I don’t share personal things with her as she cannot keep a secret.) Yes, it’s clear, I have issues with my mother and I don’t really understand them myself.
But my original AIBU is that is it unfair and selfish of me to not ‘let’ her take my kids to see the new film with their great aunt and second cousins because I want to take them myself, on our own?
As I said, I could suggest that we all go together despite that not being the conditions of the invitation but it would be less enjoyable for me, and not what she wants anyway. My girls and I could really use some quality time together, which we just don’t get when my mum is there, and I’ve been looking forward to seeing this with them. But to be honest, I was also hoping to watch it when it came out for ‘Movies for Juniors’ to see it on a Saturday morning when it’ll be A LOT less busy, but that’ll be months away. DD1 know the film is coming out but they haven’t seen any ads for it lately so haven’t actually mentioned in ages, so they won’t actually know that they are missing out unless DM mentions it which wouldn’t surprise me. If they happened to see an ad I’d take them when asked, but now I feel rushed to see the film when it’s busiest because otherwise I feel like a shit mum as well as a selfish daughter.