ParkRun on Christmas Day

[SalmonLeBon]

We are going to my lovely bro and SIL for Christmas day, due to arrive around 12, which means leaving here around 11. We are staying with them for a couple of days. My MIL is coming too.

DS13 wants to do ParkRun with his godfather (lives local to us but has atrocious timekeeping!). DH has told him this is fine, loads of time to fit it all in. And has made me feel like a complete Grinch for saying there isn't time.

I think it is madness, it means him being ready to go out the door here at 0815, won't be back here until 1030 (most weekends he goes they are not back until at least 11).

We won't have space (with MIL and overnight bags) to fit presents in the car, so what do we do? Open everything by 0815? Leaving the presents for when we get home on 27th feels wrong to me, but DH reckons it is fine .

If DH takes DS, instead of godfather collecting him, he can get away promptly, but leaves me marshalling younger child, MIL, loading car etc.

He wanted to do it last year and got told no because of timing. And then it turned out there would just about have been time, but no MIL with us, so more space for stuff...

I just feel damned either way here. I either have to deal with an upset son, or suck up the extra pressure.

AIBU to say no to ParkRun. Or do I just need to relax and go with the flow? If we are late, so be it etc.

(There is a very long back story involving me being very low contact with my parents, who are also coming to my brother's tomorrow; my MIL and parents barely ever meet; therefore my stress levels are already pretty well elevated!)

Yes let him go. You don't even have to ferry him around! Open some presents tonight!

Christmas Day parkrun is very special, and I think it’s great that he’s keen to go rather than sloth in bed.

12 vs 12.30 on Xmas day is neither here nor there. I agree with that, tell them it will be 12.30 and chill out!

Christmas Day parkrun is really really lovely and it’s great he wants to do it. Everyone has presents on their laps and it’s all sorted. You are making a big deal about basically getting some people to sit in a car

Your stress levels and judgement are impacted as this is the most stressfulwonderful time of the year.
Let him go.
Pack car today.
Godfather takes him and DH picks him up.
DH helps early in morning and younger kids can play with new toys while DSis doing parkrun.

Question: why can’t you just tell bro and SIL you’ll be there at 12.30 -1. It would remove all the pressure
The turn up at midday is a bit arbitrary and there is no real reason why it can’t move back 30 mins.

Or he can do park run and you go pick him up as soon as he’s finished, would that help?

Great that a teenager wants to do something active on Christmas Day & spend time with his Godfatfer. Anyway you can pick him up so that you know he won’t be late & then head off to your family? The rest of you can have a leisurely breakfast whilst he’s out (or go & get some fresh air and watch?).

Surely opening presents doesn’t need to be the focus of the day and can easily wait?

I would say let your DS go to the parkrun if he has his heart set on it. I take it you are in England where the parkrun starts at 9am, in Scotland it's 9.30am. Is it quite far away that he doesn't get back till 11am? I know some people at my local one go for coffee after but you could tell him he needs to be home sharp. I occasionally do parkrun, wish my kids would get into it!

IRAN they start at different times on Xmas day depending on the event

Opening a load of presents early seems fine to me! Then park run which is great.

Definitely let him do park run. Leave present unwrapping until 27th. In my family we unwrap lots of presents after Christmas it gives you time to appreciate it more and spreads out the enjoyment of giving and receiving gifts.

@ZenNudist you leave present unwrapping until the 27th? Sounds like fun in your house

Oh gosh yes, let him do it. You're understandably stressed in the circumstances but you're seeing this as a big deal when it doesn't have to be. Get godfather to take DS but one of you pick him up straight after. And tell your Christmas hosts that you'll be there nearer to 12:30. Job done.

Yabu

Teen will be up early with Christmas excitement and open presents. Volunteers will want to be away sharp so it won’t be as drawn out as normal.
Ask God Father to get him home sharp or go and get him yourself.

Lastqueen oh right, my local one isn't on Christmas day, have just checked is on New year's day at 11am.

Pack the car tonight. Open a few presents early tomorrow, all go and watch ds run and head off straight from the Park Run with remaining presents on your laps. Happy Christmas 🎅

Open the bulkiest presents before he goes, and save one only for the 27th, so less to pack. Ask your hosts if OK to arrive 12.15 or 12.30, then don't tell anyone else that you have that extra time to play with.

Be clear to son and godfather that he won't be able to do it again if he's not back ready to leave at 11 this time. Call godfather at 10.30 with some minor emergency which means you need them back right now please.

All sounds like a lot of extra stress for you, is there some chore you can swap your son for, e.g. he does the toddler's bath for a week when you get back so you get some relaxation time in return to compensate (and so that extra pressures on you are actually acknowledged and you're not taken for granted)?

Here's a link to the compendium of where there's are festive Parkruns: www.parkrun.org.uk/special-events/

I'd let him go - they are usually quite special events. You need to read the riot act about needing a prompt return!

And start planning now for New Year's Day. When you can run a double (some Parkruns opt for a later start that day, and if you have two close together, you may be able to fit in both)

Definitely let him do it, it’s a great thing for a teenager to want to do on Christmas Day. Just tell your brother & SIL you’ll be there as soon after Park Run as you can. The rest of the day sounds like something to be endured not enjoyed, so let him enjoy this.

Great that a teenager wants to do something active on Christmas Day & spend time with his Godfatfer. Anyway you can pick him up so that you know he won’t be late & then head off to your family? The rest of you can have a leisurely breakfast whilst he’s out (or go & get some fresh air and watch?).

Surely opening presents doesn’t need to be the focus of the day and can easily wait?

Yes, let him go. Sounds like your Christmas Day is a bit of a nightmare of organisation and arguing grown-ups - it will be a great Christmas present for him to do what he wants to do, have some fun at ParkRun, hang out with godfather too.
Be a bit late, shove in as many presents as possible for laps, tell everyone to chill out it's Christmas Day not a military operation.

There must be some presents that are small and can be put on laps. That way you get some Christmas day present opening fun. I quite like spreading the opening. I have three main rounds: friends, nuclear and extended family and it gives you more time to enjoy it.

Oh, and have a lovely time and I hope all relations behave themselves!

tell everyone to chill out it's Christmas Day not a military operation.

I think you may know me 🤣. I am ex military, can't abide lateness, and was brought up by permanently late parents!

Can we trade.oys please please! I'd be over the moon if my son wanted to do Parkrun and we could do this as an activity. I won't run tomorrow as hurt my back by will be up taking a nice walk in the morning and crossing fingers see the sunrise. If I suggested to my son that he joined in, he would not talk to me for the rest of t holiday.

Ask him when he wants to open his presents. Maybe you can open yours at home and only take his with you. Be proud of your son to have his priorities right.