To be put off by a guy who lied about his age?

[Evie1988]

I don't get it, he lied that he was 2 years younger... only 2 years!!! So many opportunities to just tell me, but he didn't until I found out. AIBU for this to put me off?

Well if that’s the only reason you’re put off have you asked him why? How long was it before you found out and how? If he ticks all the other boxes surely it just becomes a silly story, if not then no I don’t think YABU.

Yanbu. I wouldn't trust someone who lied about shit like that.

5 months... I found out because he was giving his date of birth to be found on the system for a booking. I didn't even click at first and then did.

He does indeed tick all the boxes. He says he thought I'd think he was too old at the very start and then after days he knew I'd be mad for lying and never knew when to mention it.

Oh poor bloke, he must have felt insecure to have lied about his age - only 2 years too!

He's suffered for his lie.

He’s box ticked and was worried about you not liking him. I’d give him this one to be honest and make an in joke out of it. Like you say, it’s two years - at least he’s not 56 pretending to be 30!

And you’ve spoken about it. OP, if you really think you can’t be with him because of this, then totally stick with your gut. But if it’s just a thing that’s worrying you just slightly but doesn’t really matter, then give him a chance

Give him a chance, it's a little thing, and could be exactly as he said. Some people do get hang ups about their age, maybe he's one of them.

I had a friend who’s boyf said he was 2 yrs older than he was.
They eventually got got married.
For a big birthday surprise she planned a trip to Paris, found his passport and realised the truth
She was devastated
At the time I was all “he lied at the start because he thought you wouldn’t have anything to do with him if you knew he was so young” etc etc
Turned out, nice guy though he was, he had a big problem with truth and reality.
It ended

My first thought was if he's lied about this, what else has he lied about?

Yeah, that's my worry. It has been going so well, so is such a blow.

You must be very young... take a look at OLD after 45 and you will find out that mostly every bloke look at least ten years older than they reported age. Those that aren’t are looking for women up to 20 years younger than them.

Doesn’t make the lying right but it is pretty common. I once went out with someone who did to be 2 years older than me, he looked about 6 years older, eventually I realised he was 12 years older.

His age was the smallest lie.

That's nothing, I turned 30 at three different jobs and had three fantastic work dos. Fond memories of the 90s when it was easier to get away with that kind of stuff.

Give him an honesty amnesty. Is there anything else he wants to confess? Make a decision then. But maybe another chance if that is the only thing.

I am married to someone I met online who had lied about their age - also made themselves 2 yrs younger than they actually were. Been together for 12 yrs now - great marriage, great relationship. I let it go - best thing I ever did.

No YANBU at all.

2years or 10 years, he's lied & kept it going. Had he fessed up himself, & earlier, I personally could have gotten past it. However, to lie about such a minor thing indicates he's capable of lying about many other things too.

How old is he?

I was with someone who almost a year into the relationship I found out was 3 years younger than he'd said. I found out as we booked our first holiday and I needed his passport.

He said he lied as he didn't think I'd be interested in him if I knew his age. I would have been. The lying was the issue, not his age.

We ended up staying together 4 years. In that time, more lies were uncovered, he told me he'd never been married (again not a a problem if he had, I had!) and that was a lie.

He told me he was born in London, he was born 70 miles away from London. (Why lie about that?!)

Then there's the biggest one. I had caught him out over more lies and we said down and asked him outright to tell me anything else he's lying about, as if I unearthed another lie I would end the relationship.

Turned out, after 3 years together I learn he has a 14 yo DD, who he never sees. 😥

The lies did keep coming. I ended it. Just no trust. How could I know he meant it when he said he loved me?!

My ex said he was 10 years younger than he really was. It wasn’t the only thing “that wasn’t important” that he lied about. For me, it was just one more thing that eroded the trust. His actual age didn’t matter!

My mam did this she told a guy she was a year younger than she was it was a genuine accident she'd not long had a birthday and said the wrong age she was too embarrassed to correct herself and thought well it probably won't go anywhere so she wouldn't have to fess up. 4 years later they're still together she did tell him and I'm pretty sure he still winds her up about it!

I can't imagine why he was worried that you would over-react....

Hmm I was on Tinder last night lots of the men around my age (42) are either lying or have aged very badly!!

My exH lied that he was 4 years younger. I should have listened to what my gut said when I found out a few months down the line.

He went on to be a serial cheater and liar. I should have realised when he lied about his age, would have saved a lot of betrayal.

If this is the only issue with the relationship I’d be inclined to let it go. 2 years is not much - it’s not like he pretended to be from a generation he wasn’t from. I can see how once he’d mentioned his false age it would be hard to fess up. He must feel really insecure about his age if he thought shaving just two years off would make a difference to how people thought of him.

WHY did he lie to you? was it an online dating thing?

Often the age bands

My work colleague lied about her age to a new fella she met. I don’t know why she did it, he really regretted it, and the guy was really nice. It didn’t last either. Lesson learnt at ripe age of 61.

im surprised so
many people wouldnt be bothered by this. This happened to my friend recently only he lied about his name and what he done for a living aswell she later found out. I wouldnt trust someone who lied.