Aibu to refuse to take the presents

[Gotanabusiveex]

Left an abusive ex 4 years ago when I reached breaking point and ended up in a refuge with 2 young children. Fast forward to now and my girls see their dad every couple of weeks. Ex won’t see the girls on Christmas Day as we are going to my parents. Ex considers that my parents are to blame for me leaving, he refuses believe I made my own decision and loathes them. He’s just given me some presents for the girls and told me I have to take them to my parents so they can open them there, despite the fact that we do presents at home before we go. Just not sure why he’s adamant we open them there and not when he sees them after Christmas.

I'd be a bit suspicious about what's in them. I'd open them before you go.

Yes, I’d open them & then rewear them too.

The beautiful thing about being separated is that you don’t have to do what he says anymore 😃

You don’t even need to argue about it. Just do whatever you want.

Rewrap them

I'd have opened them on the sly already to be honest.
I'd obviously wrap them back up once I knew they were innocent.

And what Hedda said.

Agree with Hedda. What he wants is irrelevant. Just do what you like and ignore if he mentions it again.

I would have opened them already to check! Sounds weird

Already opened and rewrapped, actually thoughtful presents the girls will love. Just wonder what he’s thinking, is it about reminding everyone he’s still around?

He wants your family to see what a wonderful thoughtful father he is.

What the above poster said 'its all about image, he is such a 'great' Dad'. You are not together anymore, he doesn't get to tell you what to do. Open the presents at home. Don't let him be the topic of conversation on Christmas day at your parents

Let them open the presents, with yours, before you go to your parents.

Do what your girls want to do - the presents are for them , let them choose where and when they open them ?

I'd have them open them at home. Or tell him to give them to them when he has them?
It's up to you. He doesn't get to choose what you do in your time.

Sound like Christmas Eve gifts to me.

It sounds like he's trying to show your parents he's not as bad as they think.

I wouldn't give too much headspace to this. It's good that he's trying to be a good father. Hope it continues.

YANBU to not take them, it’s your Christmas so do what suits you. No need to make a big deal of it or worry about it though - do what you want and let iit go. He’s taken enough from you and you’re investing too much headspace in him. Also your choice whether you let him try and manipulate your parents by proxy - I wouldn’t personally.