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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move to the middle of nowhere?

4 replies

justthebeginning · 23/12/2018 21:14

For clarity, it's an astoundingly beautiful middle of nowhere.

The backstory is that 2 months ago I fled my home in the very, very south of the country with my 8 month old son due to domestic violence. Since then, we have been living at my mum and dad's house in the very north of the country, circa 350 miles away from STBXH. The CPS still haven't made a decision as to whether to charge my STBXH, so I don't know what will happen, but I know that I will defend any access to my son, as STBXH has proven himself to be violent and unpredictable. My son is 10 months old. I do not want him exposed to violence, rage, etc.

I have been offered social housing in the form of a gorgeous little cottage (it really is little, but so sweet) waaaay out in the countryside, overlooking a little brook and next door to an actual castle, complete with (next-door) castle views. It's a really sweet village that has lots of stuff going on for kids. And the little row of houses seems to have an extraordinary sense of community. But, it is 45 miles even further north than we are now. And it takes at least an hour to drive, so my parents would NOT be able to help with childcare except on properly planned occasions.

My mum and dad are besotted with my son and I suspect would like us to be closer. But, 45 miles is better than 350, right? And as much as I really appreciate my parents support, I already see signs of my dad getting stressed out with us being here and we can't live like this forever.

Work opportunities would be limited in this place, but as universal credit will keep the two of us housed and fed and together 24/7 for at least the next 12 months, would it be silly to consider this and/or to try and find work at this stage? I'm confident I could find decent work within a month or two, but then there's childcare costs etc.

Sorry for the long post, I really need help!

OP posts:
Mummy0ftwo12 · 23/12/2018 21:15

sounds lovely x

Merryoldgoat · 23/12/2018 21:19

It sounds lovely but I think you need to be realistic.

I can get swept up in things but I know I’d hate living that far from family in such an isolated place. I’d also find the childcare and work issues hard to deal with.

If you don’t have the same concerns then go for it. The settings sounds tranquil, which you need after such a horrible situation, but how will you feel when the dust has settled?

Grace212 · 23/12/2018 21:20

sounds good
potentially a lovely community etc

the 45 miles - how long does it take in a car? you don't want to stress your folks too much with childcare anyway, really.

ballsdeep · 23/12/2018 21:41

Sounds idyllic. I'd move there

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