AIBU to wish my dad would turn the TV off?!

[AddictedToTea]

We live around 200 miles from my parents so don’t see them as often as I’d like. Due to the distance, we usually stay around three nights when visiting. During that time, unless my dad goes out, the TV is on the whole time. From when my dad gets up until whenever my mum goes to bed. I feel like I can’t have a decent conversation with my parents because of this - there is always something one of them is watching and I don’t really feel I can interrupt. I really feel it is rude and would never have the TV on so much if we had guests at home. Since he retired a couple of years ago, the TV watching has got out of hand IMHO.

I’m near the end of my pre-Christmas visit and I’m sat sulking in my childhood bedroom on MN/reading a trashy novel as the TV is giving me a headache!

So, AIBU to want my dad to turn the TV off for part of the day so we can all have a chat (and make driving 200 miles worth it) or is it his right to act how he wants in his own home and I shouldn’t expect any special treatment as, being his daughter, I’m not a ‘proper guest’?

Why don't you talk to him about it and tell him how you feel?

200 miles....reasonable to ask him to turn the TV off and focus on you.

Pils are like this. TV on 18 hours a day. Once when ds was a toddler he turned the TV off. Everyone gasped and there was a real tumbleweed moment as it quickly got turned on again.

Totally relate. I travelled 24 hours door to door - as soon as I got in, telly was on, he has spoken about 10 words to me in four days.

He was like this my whole life growing up. Just totally not involved at all.

We have no tv in my own home, and phones limited to 1 hour a day total.

Such a waste of a life.

Ugh YANBU. This would annoy me too. When I visit my parents, who are about 120 miles away, we are either watching something all together that we've chosen in the evening or TV is off and we are chatting and enjoying each other's company and doing other stuff during the day.

Having the TV on and watching it from getting up to bedtime seems excessive, and even more so if you have people staying.

In 10 years of living abroad, I’ve been home twice. my mum asks why I never come home and I told her it feels like I may as well not be there since no one talks anyway, but nothing has changed, I see.

I live on the same street as my parents. I pop in everyday, everyday when I arrive my Dad turns the tv off. Unless football is on, then he just mutes the sound 😂

It’s rude.

wahtif it’s more than rude. I honestly get anxiety if the tv is on in someone’s house when I go over because it reminds me so heavily of being a child and being constantly ignored in favour of the TV.

Some days I honestly just want to end my relationship with my parents so I don’t have to put up this facade any more.

I can also relate. I live 250 miles away so spend 4 or 5 days here. My dad watches hours of TV while I am here, most of it his choice, in almost complete silence. I do watch TV in the evening (not generally in the daytime) when visiting friends but it will be a mutually decided programme and we will relate to each other during it (and often end up ignoring the TV and just chatting)

If my dad can't find anything to watch he usually falls asleep in his armchair. Very occasionally he will talk at me for a while, not actual conversation, just story after story (all of which I have heard at least 20 times already) or lots of moaning about things not worth moaning about.

I live 12 minutes away from my parents, if sport is on I just mute it myself. But usually tv is films or shows for 3dgd. but if I want a chat with my mum I go to kitchen where she usually is. My dad come in eventually when he gets sick of my little pony, moana, tangled.
I would go down and say its my last night turn it off so I can have a proper conversation before I go.

YANBU my grandparents watch TV all the time and they're also stone deaf so it's really loud. I usually use my toddler daughter as a reason to turn it off, or down at least. "DD is getting distracted by the TV, can we turn it off?" "DD can't hear when I'm talking, can we turn the TV down?"

I would just ask your dad to turn it off and explain what you want to have a proper conversation.

emu at this point, I don’t even know what I’d talk to my dad about.

I’ve tried several times to engage him but I just get little hums and ‘oh yeah?’s in return.

I find it quite common to have the TV on the background all the time. It is as if a person cannot bear to be alone with their thoughts or even think.

We talk over the telly!

My parents are always going out when I visit, sometimes feel like I might as well not bother! (Outside activities, cycling, horses, etc)

It still surprises me how many people keep the telly on as background when they’ve got guests. It happens so often now, I was beginning to think I was a bit old fashioned thinking it was such bad manners. It always makes me feel like my company is not valued. To me, you press record if the programme is so important but the telly goes off straight away when guests come in. What would your dad say if you told him how you feel?

My dad has just come into the lounge to find me watching Carols from Kings. On discovering that it will clash with the first 5 minutes of a soap which starts at 7 he has gone straight back to his bedroom so he can watch the soap there. I feel for others on this thread who have similar experiences, and also feel comforted that I it isn't just me in this situation - hearing about people spending their time chatting and catching up with their parents, or doing fun things makes me feel rubbish.