Dreaming about someone who isn't my partner

[badreams]

I keep having dreams about this guy who isn't my partner.

This is someone I used to know but haven't seen for four years. I had a massive crush on them. They were my first love. Nothing ever happened or came of it.

I'm engaged now to my partner and we have a child.

Occasionally I think about this person but over the years it's become less and less.

Except I dream about them. I'm averaging about three times a week and have done for the past few months and I don't know why. I haven't been thinking about them. The dreams came out of the blue but now I am thinking about them because I'm dreaming about them ifyswim

They're so vivid and feel so real. Sometimes they wake me up in the night and eventually I'll fall back to sleep but the dream continues!

I have told my partner about it because the dreams make me feel guilty so I felt it best to tell them and they were very understanding but they don't know that it's so often or how much it affects me

Why is this happening?

I can’t believe you told your partner because you feel guilty about a dream.

@DianaPrincessOfThemyscira I guess I feel guilty because well, I guess because I've been enjoying the dreams but obviously I haven't told my partner that!

Perfectly normal to dream of other people, I find it odd that you shared this with your partner though. A dream doesn’t mean it’s what you would do when you are awake, if it was then this would potentially be a seriously fucked up world (although I do sometimes dream I’m a superhero which could be fun....)
It’s really no different from dreaming about an event that happened at work, chasing down an ice cream van, murder, superhero’s etc

I had a dream about Ben Shepherd the other week - I should probably go to confession tomorrow, as it was pretty saucy!

I had a dream about Judge Rinder.

Think I'm all kinds of messed up.

I guess my issue is that it's not just one dream. A one off. It's constant. Pretty much all the time

Not entirely sure why it makes me feel guilty

Have had plenty of dreams about famous people or random people before but this doesn't feel the same

I had really odd dreams like that when I was pregnant. I think it is quite usual!

@user1471592953 I'm not pregnant

I dream a lot and also moan and talk in my sleep so my OH is used to waking me up if Im moaning and shouting in my sleep.

Usually, as he wakes me up, he goes are you dreaming about Colin again? big smile from me, yes. It's always Colin. He is fully aware of Colin and my love for him but doesnt see him as a threat, Colin Firth. OH knows of my love affair with Colin.

@smurfy2015 that's brilliant

I guess I wouldn't mind if I was dreaming about my actor crush (Cillian Murphy)

But I guess because this person is real and I know him and used to be madly in love with him just makes me feel awkward as hell

Sorry, badreams! My attention to detail isn’t what it used to be either...

Did you have closure with this person at the time? I have similar and it's very annoying but think it's because we stopped talking one day and literally never spoke again.
There was a similar thread recently, about frequently dreaming of your ex. It was very common and deemed fairly normal.

@WhoIsBU there was no closure because nothing ever happened between us

I really liked him but I've no idea if he felt the same. I'd assume not! I had a crush on him for four years and then I no longer needed to interact with him and I've not seen him since.

Does this person represent something that's missing for you, either in your relationship or in yourself? I had a similar experience and I think it was due to this.

@rolypolydoll not that I'm aware!

@user1471592953

I never had odd dreams whilst pregnant. Probably on account of the fact I was too uncomfortable to sleep

I have this. It drives me mad. Ive been dreaming of this person for over 3 years now on and off. It stops for a while then returns. I have no idea why and it really annoys me. Ive never told dh, mostly because he knew him too and never much liked him so cant see it going down well. Op if you stumble across the cure for this please let me know. I dont want to be 60 years old and still dreaming about him!

OP I have had this exact same thing for years.

It was a recurring dream about someone I broke up with a very long time ago and had no intention of getting back with, but definitely my first love.

I ended up googling it because it worried me so much, and apparently it's not a dream about the person as such, but more about the stage in your life when you met that person and if it was an important phase in your life.

It signifies how you felt at that time as a person and doesn't mean you are pining for them or anything like that.

Have a look online, I found it quite interesting. And since I did, no more dreams about them.

@WeCameToDance gah! It's awful isn't it. It makes me feel like some crazy obsessed person.

At the time, when I still saw the person, I was pretty obsessed so it was such a welcome relief when I no longer had to see him so these dreams are really messing me up.

@marciagetscreamed ah that's interesting. I was a teenager at that point of my life. Good ol' school days!