Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it mean to

16 replies

cantbeb0thered · 23/12/2018 17:40

Leave my pil on their on on Christmas Day?

Every year for the last 8 years bar one year when I was deployed, I have hosted my in laws. Two weeks ago my husband deployed for 7 months. We had an early Christmas tbis year. Did the whole thing, mince pies left out for Fc and did a load of food on the fake xmas day. Kids re only toddlers so can get away with it. I invited them to come to fake xmas. But made it clear to them that I wouldn't be doing anything on actual Xmas day. Pajamas and junk food essentially. A few weeks ago they made mention to not leaving me on my own on xmas day. I ignored the comment. I have just received a text asking to come over on xmas day and they will bring Mac and cheese. Firstly my Mil is not a good cook and secondly it will ruin the xmas day I have had planned for months. I have bought loads of m and s starters and plan to spend the day with the kids in our jamas. Maybe go out on the scooter for a while. I just can't be arsed having people over. It's just another Tuesday as far as I am concerned.

But i also feel bad as they only live 10 mins away.

Can I also just add that in 10 years of being in their lives, I have been invited tk 3 meals in their house and they have eaten in my house more times than I can count. That just riles me.

I also feel like they haven't listened to me. I am going to look like the bad guy by telling them thanks but no thanks.

OP posts:
fizznchips · 23/12/2018 17:49

Do what you need to do for your happiness and that of your children. Hope you enjoy your plans, sounds amazing! Merry Christmas Xmas Smile

Fridaydreamer · 23/12/2018 17:51

Just so no thanks. If you feel the need to explain, simply tell them you’ve got the day planned out and no visitors is part of that. Maybe suggest an alternative date or say you’ll bob round for half an hour if you go out on scooters.

Seriously. Just say no.

Santaisonthesherry · 23/12/2018 17:58

Sorry but we have plans. Hope you have a lovely day though.
Don't get into a conversation about it.

cantbeb0thered · 23/12/2018 18:05

Well I have said thank you but we have plans. And I said we can get together before I go back to work and all they said was 'when are you back' and then'ok'. Clearly a bit piases off with me.

OP posts:
cantbeb0thered · 23/12/2018 18:05

*pissed

OP posts:
Kinraddie · 23/12/2018 18:09

Did they come to the fake Christmas?

cantbeb0thered · 23/12/2018 18:11

Yes they came tk fake Christmas. I knew I couldn't get away with not inviting them to either 😂

OP posts:
68Anon · 23/12/2018 18:12

This is a difficult one. I can see your point of view on why you would prefer to spend the day your way but at the same time, your children are your PIL's grandchildren and can understand they would like to see their grandchildren Christmas Day. Plus, they probably think they are doing you a favour by keeping you company.
Their hearts are probably in the right place so please be gentle with them. Maybe, just pop in and seen them for a short while.

Kinraddie · 23/12/2018 18:13

Well in that case you are not being unreasonable at all. They'll get over it! Enjoy your lovely quiet Christmas!

cantbeb0thered · 23/12/2018 18:19

If husband had deployed months ago and Tuesday was out xmas day then I would of course have them over. But as far as I am concerned xmas was 2 weeks ago and I spent a fortune on food and we had a great day. Kids opened all their presents. Done and dusted. I'm just annoyed they asked in the first place. Although better than them showing up

OP posts:
sherrysfortea · 23/12/2018 19:32

They'll get over it, well done for standing your ground

Angrybird345 · 23/12/2018 19:35

Don’t give in, have a nice family day.

BarbarianMum · 23/12/2018 19:45

All they did is ask you. That's not so terrible. You've said no and theyve accepted that. What's the problem?

Maelstrop · 23/12/2018 19:50

Stand firm, OP, they knew the deal when they came for fake Christmas. They are probably just worried about you being without your DH on the day. Tell them you're fine and have plans for a lazy day.

Junkmail · 23/12/2018 19:55

Just stick to what you’ve said. They’re maybe a bit put out but you’ve already hosted Christmas so presumably they are offering to come over for your benefit which you’ve now made clear is not necessary so don’t worry about it. If you’re feeling really bad then I guess you could take the kids to them for a couple of hours in the morning? I don’t really see the need though as you’ve already done a Christmas so I’m assuming there will be no presents from you in laws on the day?

cantbeb0thered · 23/12/2018 21:13

barbarian I made it very clear that they were invited to fake Christmas but I wouldn't be doing anything for real Christmas. They are relatively nice people and see the kids all the time but there is an unrelated back story which means when they do annoying things the annoyance is quadrupled.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.