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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he doesn’t like me?

21 replies

SadSallyRose · 23/12/2018 16:14

Been seeing someone for close to 2 months.

We had a date for today but he cancelled it as he wasn’r feeling up to seeing me. But he really likes me and wants to see where this goes.

I’m so hurt. But he does suffer with depression so maybe this is normal?

Aibu and should I just move on despite liking him

OP posts:
Original poster
SadSallyRose · 23/12/2018 16:16

Also sorry I should add that I said if he doesn’t feel the same way and would like us to not see each other then I would respect his decision and he shouldn’t just pretend because maybe he’d feel bad ending this so close to Christmas.

But he disagree and said that no he does really like me and wants to see me again.

I’m so confused

OP posts:
AllKinds · 23/12/2018 16:18

He's keeping you as back up - I'd move on. Anyone worthy of seeing you will move mountains to make sure they see you.

If it's only been 2 months and already he's let you down, that'll be a sign of things to come.

Have a great Christmas being single and look forward some fun 2019 dates!

Lifeofsmiley · 23/12/2018 16:19

Wasn’t feeling well or just didn’t want to see you?
It all seems a bit intense, it’s not even been two months, chill out a bit.

Original poster
SadSallyRose · 23/12/2018 16:21

Me chill out? Why? I don’t think I’ve done anything.

I was just upfront with him that if he’s not feeling this anymore then he can say so and there would be no hard feelings.

Regardless ... I think this is doomed and it’s time to move on

OP posts:
Lifeofsmiley · 23/12/2018 16:24

Yes you!
All this but I’ve said if he doesn’t feel the same way you would stop seeing each other and respect his decision, if someone was saying that to me after less than two months I’d be running for the hills.. it’s too much.

HollowTalk · 23/12/2018 16:26

What did he mean, he didn't feel up to seeing you? Is he unwell or did he just not fancy it?

MrsStrowman · 23/12/2018 16:26

You do seem very intense. He's cancelled one date and has said he didn't feel up to it but does line you and you're jumping straight to 'it's doomed' 'if you want to end things I'll understand' are you always a drama llama? A usual response would be 'hope you feel better see you after Christmas X '

AllKinds · 23/12/2018 16:27

It does sound a bit intense to be texting about feelings when you've been seeing each other 8 weeks. For the first few months it's usually fun dates & getting to know eachother. How old are you OP?

Original poster
SadSallyRose · 23/12/2018 16:27

But that’s you? If he said that to me now then I wouldn’t react how you would.

My aibu isn’t even about what I said. It’s about him cancelling because he doesn’t feeling like seeing me but says he does still want to see me and likes me. It’s a mind fuck.

OP posts:
Original poster
SadSallyRose · 23/12/2018 16:28

I’m hiding this thread now so sorry but I won’t be back

OP posts:
Lifeofsmiley · 23/12/2018 16:31

Yes. That’s me and probably quite a lot of people,including your bf!
As a pp first few months is fun dates,getting to know each other.
So back to your aibu, he’s maybe having an off day and can’t be bothered but you consider it a mind fuck.

Houseonahill · 23/12/2018 16:32

lifeofsmiley that's great that you would feel like that but it's not fair to extrapolate that to every other person in the world. No wonder dating is so hard when people are constantly told "don't be to forward" and then when people aren't forward you're told "they clearly aren't into you"

OP only you know this guy, does your gut tell you you're being stringed along? Or that it's one of those things with Christmas and his depression etc and give him one more chance? Go with your gut but try not to get too emotionally involved before you know where you stand.

AllKinds · 23/12/2018 16:34

It's hardly a mind fuck, he's cancelled but said he wants to see you. So wish him well and if he means it, he'll be in touch when he's better.

However, I wouldn't be checking my phone every 5 minutes or over analysing every text over an 8-week 'relationship'.

Just chill out, go and have fun with your friends, you'll feel better!

Butchyrestingface · 23/12/2018 16:35

I’m hiding this thread now so sorry but I won’t be back

Christ, that must be the quickest escalation I've seen yet. Xmas Confused

Another vote for 'you seem a bit intense'.

AllKinds · 23/12/2018 16:37

@Butchyrestingface & didn't even get to page 2! Xmas Shock

Lifeofsmiley · 23/12/2018 16:37

So quite a lot of people =every other person in the world!

Butchyrestingface · 23/12/2018 16:52

She bailed at 11 posts in, 5 of which were hers.

I think this must be some kind of record. 🥇🏆🎇

AllKinds · 23/12/2018 16:56

OP posts on AIBU.

OP doesn't like replies.

OP flounces off.

Definitely a record so soon!

JennyHolzersGhost · 23/12/2018 17:02

Don’t know if anyone has said this yet but ... You seem a bit intense.

Lifeofsmiley · 23/12/2018 17:07

Grin jenny

Sparklesocks · 23/12/2018 17:14

I don't think an off day necessarily means anything, best to play it by ear and catch up when he's feeling a bit more himself.

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