To encourage her to come to my house

[moanymoaner]

Massive long story short - I'll bullet point
*got sibling much younger from dad and step mum
*dad has always been a massive control freak and not that great with his kids
*dad doesn't speak to my two siblings for the last 11 years
*stepmum works long days and sometimes weekends so my sister is left with my dad

Today sister wants to come to my house but dad won't let her . She's heartbroken , he's just asleep and leaving her cry it out . She's 12 . Her mum won't be home till 11pm.

Aibu to go and get her?

I'll try not to drip feed but even as a fully grown adult I'm frightened of my dad and my stepmum will back him as she doesn't really like his other kids. I hate hearing my sister so sad but it really would cause hell and probably I'd be cut off as the last speaking child to him.

Thanks

Sorry I've no idea why some of the text is in bold!

It's a difficult one and didn't want to read and run.

But if it was my sister and she was upset, I would go and get her.

Go and get her. She's 12 and wants to be with you!

Can you go over there to vist?

I'd get her and keep her. A few of my students live with older sisters / aunts in similar circumstances

No I can't just pop there I'm not allowed without letting him know first - also he knows she wants to come she's asked and he said no . I feel helpless because I have children and if I go there he will be furious and I don't want them to see that!

Fuck it. Go get her. Your Sister will never forget yoyr kind help at least. You are doing the right thing as a good and kind Sister.

Your Dad will be the loser in all of this. He is a bully.

I know my heart says go and my head says this will be much bigger . Her mum knows she should sort it but she can't cos she's busy working . I feel so sad for her! How as a grown women can I not stand up to my dad!

Get her to meet you at door? If he's asleep it doesn't really matter.

Pinky pie he's a one eye open dozer . He knows everything.

Get her to meet you at the door, text him. He's not looking after her.

I've just text her , one of her siblings (mums eldest) is home so she's ok now.

Cos he's a scary, abusive bloke, who conditioned you for years to behave? Plus you'll know he'll take it out on her, you, etc...

Do you know why she's upset?

Is this one for social services really?

Thanks all!

Can’t you just ring him and say is it ok if she comes? I understand that you don’t want to blow the whole family apart by just getting her.

Listen.... just go. You will never please your Dad. Do what is right.
What is the worse that can happen? Being furious at you? Cutting contact with you too? So let him

What is it you fear to lose?

It's not for SS she has a nice life and he's rarely there it's just hard when he is but she has it loads better than I did growing up . Thanks all . She's going to be ok now :)

Good you are there for her. You know the politics of your family well enough to know how to navigate them. Best you can do.