to not consider christening our child just because its "nice".

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

Elderly FIL is getting quite excited about our impending arrival. My DH is his only son and our baby will be the first baby in the family for over 20 years so I can understand his excitement. DH told me that FIL has dug out christening gowns from the loft in preparation. In preparation for what? Apparently, FIL is quite convinced that we will christen our child?!

We got married in a (beautiful and moving) civil ceremony and are both agnostic so have never displayed any Christian faith previously. When I discussed it with DH, he seemed to be seeing his dad's point on christenings being a lovely family celebration. FIL said that unless our child was christened, s/he would not have a name in the House of the Lord.

Now, FIL doesn't pray, doesn't display any Christian faith at all and doesn't go to church. Surely getting a child christened if you genuinely don't believe, as DH and I don't, is hypocritical and just an excuse for a family gathering?

How about a compromise - explain to your FIL that you don't believe in christenings but ask if your LO can wear the robe for part of their naming day?

FWIW, my parents are dedicated Christians but the only thing my Dad was worried about after my dd's birth was my registering her in order to comply with the law. He didn't mention canon law at all - they left it up to me to decide even though they were pleased when I opted to have her christened after all.

YOu can do that with a naming ceremony, though, without having to make promises that you have no intention of keeping.

Pretty Candles sums it up perfectly. To participate in a religious ceremony based on beliefs you do not hold is offensive not only to yourself but to others who may take it seriously.

Go with your gut instinct and try to explain to your father in law that you would rather not be hypocritical.

If a naming day is something you like the idea of a naming day (not my cup of tea but I am officially a weird person) then as others have suggested, the lovely gown could be used for that.

As an utterly off-topic aside, I love old christening robes, some of the expertise that went into sewing them is wonderful...

Agnes

I'm with Jools (as usual ) - none of my 4 were christened and it will be up to them if they do want to commit themselves when older.

(Some of them have whinged in the past about their lack of generous godparents as compared with friends but That's Not What It's About, is it?)