Am I unreasonable

[Mmumof3]

This is my first time here. Am I being unreasonable.

I have depression and anxiety I've had it for 5 years and it just took over my life. I have now started medication and therapy which is helping slowly. My husband is not supporting instead I'm told I'm being stupid or just crazy and mad.
Anyway he wanted to go visit family abroad but because of my anxiety I'm scared of going any where from my home let alone to another country. I am getting better and hoping soon I will be back to my normal active and social self. He wanted initially for me to come with so he says. But he has just booked a ticket just for himself in March before the Easter Holidays. I had said to him just help me with my anxiety and me and the 3 kids can come with u then. I only found out about booked ticket because he left email open on phone and when I questioned him his not sorry about instead got angry with me. I'm hurt that he lied and does not care knowing that my anxiety is going to be worse if I have to look after the kids for 3 weeks all by my self. I have said go just for 10 days but he said he will go for as long as he wants which is 3 weeks. He knows I'm scared to drive how am I going to pick kids from school.
I'm just feeling hurt and it's making me emotional but instead of crying I just argue a lot with the husband.
Am I being unreasonable?

I’m not sure that your plan that you’d all be able to go in a few months is realistic. I don’t think it’s reasonable for one partner to plan to go away for 3 weeks leaving children behind without discussion. This is especially so when you’re struggling. He doesn’t sound very kind.

Presumably he has supported you for the last 5 years? I wonder if he's at the end of this tether and needs a break.

Why isnt he taking the children with him?

I'm sorry for what you're going through OP - I have anxiety (although not on the scale of yours) so I understand some of what you are describing.

It's not okay for DH to belittle you or call you stupid but I do think you need to see this from his perspective. He's been going through this as well (obviously in a different way) and may need a break. There is unimaginable pressure on carers and those who love poorly partners.

Of course you aren’t. Your husband sounds awful.

There are two seperate things here.

Yes he should be supporting you, although it reads it has taken you 5 years to seek help in which case it can’t have been easy for him either really.

With regards the trip. Of course he wants to see his family and if you can’t/won’t travel then him going without you is the only option really.

How long is it since he has seen his family? Calling you crazy, stupid and lazy when you are unwell is really terrible behaviour, and if he is unremorseful for this then you have a problem.

Separately to that though, I can understand that he has a need to see his family. It's a very difficult situation, is there anyone else who could help out during the 3 weeks?

Keep working on your anxiety and book closer to the time if you are up to it.

I struggle with going out too, but I don't expect others to curb their lives for me.

I had said to him just help me with my anxiety and me and the 3 kids can come with u then

How are you wanting him to help you with your anxiety? I think he really messed up not discussing this with you, but I'm wondering if he's at the end of his rope if this has been going on for 5 years. That's a really long time for him to put his life on hold too.