To be glad he is still with OW

[itsnotmyparty]

I've just been wondering, if your Ex is still with the OW (or OM) several years later (married etc), are you glad about this?
Does it seem to you like at least it wasn't all for nothing? Especially with children involved, I'm quite glad my ex hasn't introduced my DC to different women and that my DC have a relationship with his wife.
As much as it was awful at the time, we are all happy now I suppose

No no no, I feel like once someone has done that to you they don't deserve to be happy. I'm obviously not a very nice person

Ex DH left me after 16 years of marriage, no kids due to make infertility, he refused to consider adoption and he could not raise another man's child. The ow had 2 kids and seeing him go off to play stepfather really hurt. BUT .......out of the blue I met DH and a year to the day of exdh leaving I was divorced, remarried (2 months) and a few weeks pregnant. What a year!!!!
Ex eventually married ow and they are still together 15 years on. She did me a huge favour and set me free from ex who was very controlling, she was welcome to him!

I’m not the OW, but my partner got with me very soon after separating from his ex. (I was fucking mad to get myself involved with someone going through a divorce. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that...)

Anyway, 9 years on. My partner and his ex can’t stand each other and his ex says their child has only ever had stability because of me being around. Little does she know that I’m desperately unhappy and don’t think I will be around this time next year. I think she will be gutted if we split up.

Not me but my mum, she left the family for OM, they have been together over 30 years now, if they had broken up I think that it would been worse.

Ah it's nice to hear everyone's views. The majority seem to be likeminded

Yep, my ex left me for and subsequently married the OW and it does feel marginally better that at least he was serious about her ( it also helps that she is very nice!) Peversely however I am pleased that they never had children together ( neither wanted them) which makes me rather selfish I suppose!

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants not laughing at the facts of your post as obv not nice but My XH has discovered, having consulted his Dulux colour chart, that the new shade of grass he has with New Wife isn't quite the right shade of green... has really made me chuckle

I'm glad that he's still with her too. But only because I know he's miserable. Sorry, not as charitable as you lot.

I wanted him to stay with the OW because I knew he’s be trapped in a situation of unhappiness and distrust. Unfortunately it didn’t work out and I foolishly took him back.

Ex is with someone else now and once again he keeps harping on about how she’s really very lovely but he doesn’t have the spark and despite trying hard he doesn’t love her. I get a message at least once a week asking me to reconsider taking him back. Thankfully I’m much stronger this time and have a totally different mindset

My ex-H has married the OW. I’m not magnanimous enough to be glad about that. They put me through hell. I hope their marriage is as miserable as they deserve.

Agree with RedTitsMcGinty.

I think there is often an element of Schadenfreude someone else has to put up with his bullshit. Frequently in these situations the woman isn’t getting half of what she bargained for when it turns into a full time relationship rather than an affair.

The man in this case will already have proven himself to be someone who treats women badly, so I don’t think it’s wrong to feel a little smug that it’s her problem now.

my DFather had an affair and threw away a marriage and 3 children. OW didnt want him seeing us as it meant he had to see my mum. He listened and that was the end of that. They married, had more children and seemed happy. This angered my DM greatly for many years. She was extremely bitter and twisted and you darent bring up DF or OWs name in her presence or you got a vile rant. I had no hard feelings towards DF/OW as my mother had remarried a fantastic man who I loved dearly.

25 years on it turns out OW cheated on DF with his best friend and had been for many years. Took him for every penny and kicked him out of their home to move her new bloke in.

My DM was thrilled. couldnt be happier. "i knew it wouldnt last". She had waited patiently for 25 years to be able to say that and now quite likes his name being brought up so she can say she hopes he dies alone and miserable!!

My ex DH left me for an OM. I’m glad it’s worked out. The OM is great with the kids. My ex has really stepped up and now does far more with the kids instead of expecting me to do everything, and my new DP gets on very well with my ex, the OM, and my kids. It might not be perfect and it certainly wasn’t the way I expected to see out my 40s, but it’s as good as we can make it.