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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Morning sickness husband in bed

59 replies

GoatFinger · 23/12/2018 08:41

It's like even with an ailment only women can get he still manages to need to have a half day nap!
I'm sick as a dog with 'morning' sickness and for some obscure reason my DH has decided that yesterday and today he needed a sleep for numerous hours. We already have a school age child so I can't lie down myself and try not to vomit as someone has to look after them.

I was told last week I had a face like a slapped arse because I didn't want to go to a fucking bbq while feeling sick.

Aibu to think ffs can I not just be the most unwell for once.

Any advice on whether I should feel like I have stomach flu at 7weeks. So irritated.

OP posts:
Jiminybikkit · 23/12/2018 09:37

Arsehole. I had such bad hyperemesis that for five months I only left my bed to go to the toilet, I physically couldn't do anything. My husband had to pick up all the slack and he never once complained. Tell him to shift his lazy arse

staydazzling · 23/12/2018 09:38

Oh OP i fell your pain i had this issue in my last pregnancy , lazy ,self centred and did lite to help, i read the riot act and has improved over the years. Please tell him , everything you wrote here how you worry about his ability to look after you etc dont let it slide.

AuntMarch · 23/12/2018 09:56

I have felt terribly sick without being, it really is/was worse than I ever imagined.

I actually found that eating (ALLLLLL the carbs) eased it for all of about 20 minutes at a time.

I'm 13 weeks now and it's not so constant so hopefully it'll ease for you too (I know it seems a long way off).

No advice about your arsehole OH though, other than getting a bit cross with him!

Original poster
GoatFinger · 23/12/2018 10:00

I don't let it slide. I went home from the bbq. He's mostly supportive I just think he's tired himself and it irritated him seeing me lying in bed seemingly just being lazy or whatever he thought and he decided seeing as I had hardly moved, that it was then his turn to go to bed for a few hours. And it was hours. Not just a 90min nap. Hours.

He was ok last pregnancy. It was so long ago I had blocked the memory. Last pregnancy I fell downstairs at 20weeks and was upset and he told me I was being dramatic or words to that effect.

He'll be busier this time as we already have a child so he will have to entertain at least one child.

OP posts:
Shahlalala · 23/12/2018 10:03

Nibbling ginger biscuits and sipping water. Suck mints at work. Pasta/rice and bread keep it down for a bit, but seem to give me stomach ache.
It’s awful but just letting my body gag seems to ease it for a bit.

I really feel for you, I would kick his backside out of bed by now!

Shahlalala · 23/12/2018 10:05

Being dramaic?! You fell down the stairs at 20 weeks... Angry
That is awful and dangerous, I hope they told him how dangerous it was at the doctors or what have you.

treaclesoda · 23/12/2018 10:07

Men sonetimes pretend to get morning sickness including vomiting

There, I fixed that for you all.

Original poster
GoatFinger · 23/12/2018 10:15

😀 treacle

OP posts:
Mumtoboy123 · 23/12/2018 10:16

Who has a bbq in december?!

PeachesandPie · 23/12/2018 10:17

For the sickness: a lie down, plenty of carbs, fizzy drinks and sour sweets. Tiredness makes it a million times worse.

For the husband: a nice run around the park with other dc will wake him up!

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 23/12/2018 10:18

This reply has been deleted

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treaclesoda · 23/12/2018 10:19

Who has a bbq in december?!

Someone who lives in a place where the weather is warm in December? Hmm

BusyMum47 · 23/12/2018 10:19

You have my utmost sympathy- my morning sickness was hideous & relentless from week5 till week16 but I was rarely actually sick - it was just a constant debilitating feeling & I lost half a stone! Luckily, my hubby was supportive - made all the difference in the world! Yours needs a serious wake-up call - he's being very lazy & selfish right now & it's not fair on you - show him these replies!! Xx

mummmy2017 · 23/12/2018 10:22

Just jump back into bed with your DH and your Child.... And get child to jump on daddy....

Used to work a treat in our house...

Birdsgottafly · 23/12/2018 10:22

"Mum is your mind so small and shallow you don't realise not everyone posting on here is from the UK?"

Are you that much of a twat that insulting someone is you default setting?

WineGumption · 23/12/2018 10:28

"Aibu to think ffs can I not just be the most unwell for once" - oh my GOD this sounds familiar! My DH would ALWAYS be more ill than me, if I so much as sniffled he would start shuffling about and fake coughing.

Would also NEVER admit to sleeping well when the kids were tiny. I'd ask him if he slept ok (in the spare room) and he'd reply "a little bit" just so he had an excuse to be tired and nap later in the day.

We had some right steaming rows, I nearly left him and now he actually pulls his weight. Some partners just take longer to get the memo than others but you are absolutely right not to let it slide.

Poor you, morning sickness is hell.

snitzelvoncrumb · 23/12/2018 10:32

Vomit in his shoes, then he will understand how sick you are.

Ooplesandbanoonoos · 23/12/2018 10:33

I nibbled oat cakes and drank flat coke. Also plain crisps.
Sorry no advice re useless DH...

CatnissEverdene · 23/12/2018 10:40

I found sending the kids in with a saucepan and wooden spoon worked well when DH was "exhausted" and needed a sleep.

Saracen · 23/12/2018 10:45

OP, is there a good reason why your dh is tired?

Unless there is, he has NO excuse ever to be tired from now on. If he's getting too little sleep because, for example, he's in front of some screen in the evening, tell him he'd better go to bed early because he's on duty from the moment your older child wakes up.

Weenurse · 23/12/2018 12:28

Ginger biscuits would tide me over. Threatening to vomit on him would get him out of the way to the toilet.

ASundayWellSpent · 23/12/2018 12:43

Yes about feeling vs being sick! With Dd1 I was throwing up every day but felt ok apart from strong smells. DD2 I think I only threw up once but felt sick as a dog for ten weeks it was way worse your partner is a selfish arsehole

Ghanagirl · 23/12/2018 12:51

@poppoppop100
Men don’t get morning sickness.
Some might convince themselves that they get bloated etc.
It’s a way insuring that they get some of the attention that’s being directed at the person whose hormones are fluctuating as she’s actually growing the new human.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 23/12/2018 15:48

Last time I had a stomach bug I felt continuously nauseated but only vomited if I ate anything. Being nauseated with no end in sight was actually worse then vomiting imo. I couldn't concentrate or enjoy anything, I couldn't even sleep when I tried to take a nap but at least laying down made me feel a little better.

Your husband is a dickhead!

WeeBean · 23/12/2018 16:00

You have all my sympathy OP! I'm just getting over 9 weeks of severe morning sickness and the nausea was so much worse than the vomiting. I literally couldn't have got through these weeks without my husband who took over doing everything. I really really hope he steps up because it's hard enough just dealing with the MS without all that!