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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Only bought DH and DS one present each.

10 replies

xmaspresent · 23/12/2018 00:48

Normally, I am not a present rationer. I love Christmas (as well as birthday's and pretty much any event which is an excuse for a celebration). I also love giving people presents. DH is the exact opposite and is always grumbling about my oversentimentality and gift giving ways (although I secretly think he loves my festive indulgence and fussing about him on his birthdays despite his moaning).

Anyway, rewind back to October, I had started organising Xmas presents. DH was in need of one of the items that I bought him and so I gave it to him in October. He then made me promise not to buy him anything else so I haven't. I had already bought him a jumper so that is the one present he has to open on Tuesday. I had intended to get something else inexpensive as well as a thoughtful handmade gift but I caught hand foot and mouth last month which completely knocked the wind out of my sails. Combined with looking after an active 11 month old I've just been too skint, too tired and have simply run out of steam. Don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to a big family Christmas this year, I just have skimped on the presents. Same goes with my son. His first birthday is coming up soon as well so I've only bought him one Christmas present.

Anyway, DH has just alluded that he has bought me an expensive Xmas present. I'm pretty certain that he would have expected me to ignore his request, which if I'd been feeling perkier then maybe I would have . I also made the mistake of looking on Pinterest, which has not helped the situation! Feeling like a terrible mum and wife.... fighting the urge to go on a last minute Xmas present spree.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 23/12/2018 00:53

Its fine. He made you promise. If hes actually playing games and expected you to do it anyway then he is weird and shouldnt have said anything

DameDoom · 23/12/2018 01:04

DH and I have committed to one present each this year - am so over over-consuming.We buy what we want throughout the year so there are no real needs or wants.
Have ploughed present energy in to food shop - 14 cheeses in fridge. That's Christmas to me.

ilovesooty · 23/12/2018 01:12

You've given him one present and he has another to open. You've bought your son something, his birthday is soon and he'd probably rather play with the box anyway!

Nothing to worry about.
I hope you're feeling better now.

ScrambledEggForBrains · 23/12/2018 01:21

What ilovesooty said Xmas Smile

ToeToToe · 23/12/2018 01:44

It's fine. hope you're feeling better. Enjoy your Christmas Xmas Smile

KC225 · 23/12/2018 01:52

What ilovesooty said. He has had one present, he has one to open and I am assuming he knows you have been I'll.

Greyhound22 · 23/12/2018 02:31

It's absolutely fine. I've stood today and done my usual 'next year I'm not doing it!' as I've bought for so many people.

Your husband made you promise not to buy anything else and honestly- now is the time to save on your son's presents - he's 11 months I'm sure he will have a lovely day but he really won't have a clue what it's all about. DS is 4 and to be honest I really think this is the first year it has all 'clicked' and he knows what is going on. I respect people who have done what you have far more than the woman who moaned to me that she had no money and then in the next breath told me she had spent £700 per DC 🤔

Plus I've had HFM and it's bloody awful!

HJE17 · 23/12/2018 02:36

In my family we’ve only ever done one gift each. To be honest it hasn’t really occurred to me until now to do more! I got one thing for my brother this year, then a few weeks later found THE perfect gift for him... and so have myself a pat on the back thinking “great, that’s Christmas AND birthday sorted!” In our family we always expect a gift to be thoughtful. There’s some mental strain that goes into each one, but Christmas never ends up being a particularly expensive time of year (copious quantities of food and wine aside!)

EdtheBear · 23/12/2018 02:46

Op I'd be tempted to get a couple of extras if you can, don't have to be really expensive sweets, book, DVD, mug,

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 23/12/2018 11:38

Don’t panic buy loads of stuff now!

He’s your husband, if he’s going to be annoyed he needs to grow up and a) not get the hump when you buy him gifts, and b) not tell you not to buy anything.

Your baby isn’t even 1 yet, he’ll love playing with anything and being with you, he doesn’t need gifts.

I feel you on the HFM by the way, my twins got it at about the same age, they had it so mildly but I was so so ill with it. Horrible.

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