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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.

311 replies

Ohdesireer · 22/12/2018 19:48

Is this saying still relevant?
I only ask because I’ve wanted to be a nurse all my life, I never got my GCSE’S and didn’t think I was clever enough.

I’m now mid 20s with two DC (3&4)
I decided at the start of this year I was going follow my dream.
I’m halfway into my GCSE maths, if I pass this then onto an access course for a year then uni.

But I’m put off, I got myself a job in a care setting to gain experience for my application. It’s shift work and my partner also does shift work, he’s the main earner so his takes priority and probably always will.
Trying to figure out shifts is a nightmare, I also narrowly escaped having to work Christmas Day (some CF was going to call in “sick” and I would be the next person in)
The thought of missing out on Christmas Day with my kids is daunting. I know people do it, but they know they have to do it and still choose to work in that job.
I don’t know if I want to be the mum who isn’t home for Christmas.

As my partner already works shifts and weekends, I want the DC to have some stability and a parent who is there on weekends.

I think getting into teaching would be the best option for me, maybe a primary school teacher.

My partners mum is a teacher at a blind college.
She leaves at 8:30am and is home by 5pm Mon - Fri.
Once in a blue moon goes into work at the weekend and even then it’s not a must.
And obviously has half term off.

I’ve looked a lot into nursing and the further I look the more I’m put off. I live in a small city (I’m not even exaggerating when I say, most people think it’s a town) so jobs in nursing are hard to come by unless it’s with the NHS.

I’ve heard the saying “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach”
I haven’t looked much into teaching yet, I’d just like advice if people still think this.

I’m not saying I believe it, I just want to know if others honestly do.

My family never expected anything of me.
My mum always said to me, I’m going to end up pregnant at 18, live in a council house and aspire to nothing. She was correct, this indeed did happen. But I now own my own home. (Nothing wrong with living in a council house, but 90% of them in my area are filled with druggies so not the best environment to bring up kids in)

I feel like if I go into teaching, my family will still think I’ve amounted to nothing. Yes I overthink, but the quote is just stuck on loop in my head and I think I need someone to snap me out of it.

I don’t mean to offend anyone, this is just what has been drilled into my head for years.

AIBU?

probably

OP posts:
GeorgeBailey2 · 22/12/2018 23:25

I’m glad the job we pour our hearts into is a cop out to you.

MrMakersFartyParty · 22/12/2018 23:34

You have no qualifications so you can't be a teacher, HTH.

By the way please don't think teaching is beneath you, Fwiw I don't think nursing is for you either.

FBEH · 22/12/2018 23:44

Yeah this post was never going to end well.

To answer your question: no it’s not true that those who can’t teach. Like every other job you get good ones and bad ones but if they don’t know it they can’t bloody teach it can they.

blacksax · 22/12/2018 23:50

Another one here who thinks you have totally got the wrong end of the stick with that saying. You seem to think it means 'If you are crap at your job and not good enough for any other career, then it's ok - you can become a teacher instead'.

I know someone who used to be a professional dancer. She started being plagued by injury and had to give up that career. She now runs a dance school and teaches ballet to kids. Which is probably a better example of what people mean when they use the phrase. She can't dance, so she teaches it to other people.

I know someone else who is a (very minor) published author. There are thousands upon thousands of published writers and she is unlikely to ever be able to make a full-time career out of it. So she teaches creative writing at college instead.

BusyMum47 · 22/12/2018 23:56

As an experienced teaching assistant myself, I'm not going to say what I really think except that for you to claim you'd feel you've not amounted to anything if you're 'just a teacher' is deeply f@cking offensive! And for the record, no teacher I have ever known works 8.30-5 with nothing in the evenings or weekends - it's most certainly not an easy option job - it's bloody hard work!!

Balonder · 22/12/2018 23:58

I think you misunderstand the meaning of that phrase, OP. It means 'those who can't (do something), teach (that something) i.e. if you can't succeed as an artist, teach art or if you are injured as a soccer player and can't play, coach soccer. It doesn't mean teaching is a last resort job. Lots of easier, better paid jobs out there (primary school teacher here). It is also an offensive phrase so you shouldn't use it

DameDoom · 23/12/2018 00:00

OP, my own mum was equally scathing about the value of teaching - she once had a part time admin job in an office from 1967 -70 so was a font of knowledge regarding the profession Hmm. I ignored the daft bint.
I had (what seems now) a good job in industry but threw it recklessly away to do a PGCE (her words). 20 odd years on and I still know I did the right thing.
Teaching can be a wonderfully rewarding job BUT it is hard, hard work. To hack it long term, you have to be very resilient.
Ultimately, you need to think carefully about your future - it is doable but you need a very long term plan.

crazycatgal · 23/12/2018 00:01

If you've not got any qualifications or a career then mentioning that being a teacher will mean that you've amounted to nothing is going to piss people off.

This is not a job to go into if your heart isn't in it, you won't last 5 minutes if you think it will be an easy ride.

PinkAvocado · 23/12/2018 00:09

Social work is a good idea. I will research more on that

I’ve lots of social worker friends. Many who have been working weekends recently to catch up on admin as no time given for it, who don’t get in until 11pm due to unforeseen circumstances (which is obviously hard to get childcare for as it can happen without warning), who travel the breadth of the country as their cases are scattered so wide...

Primary teaching is not an easy job and you are under an awful lot of scruitany in terms of pedagogy and results.

I think it’d be better to look at alternative routes in the area you’re more familiar with as you have some misconceptions about teaching.

Streambeam · 23/12/2018 00:14

To be a teacher you have to really bloodyt want to do the job, because it’s a hell of a lot of stress, time, energy, blood sweat and tears for very little thanks otherwise. If you want to do it and love it then it’s worth it. If you don’t- it’s really not.

Get a job as a TA first, then decide if teaching is for you.

brokenbics · 23/12/2018 00:15

Nice. I'm a teacher and I think you should go for it. Then you will see for yourself how outrageous this statement is.
P.s good luck leaving the house at 8:30am to have a whole day of lessons ready for 9am and you're likely to still be sat in staff meetings at 5pm before you've even marked a single book!

altiara · 23/12/2018 00:19

Can you research more into different careers within nursing? I have a relative that is a health visitor and she did what you’d consider ‘normal’ working days.

Justaboy · 23/12/2018 00:27

Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach

Nah! those who can't end up in Goverment:-(.

Domino45 · 23/12/2018 00:33

As a social worker it’s not a 9-5 job, with lots of paperwork and stressful cases. Having a home life balance is very difficult. Researching more would be a very good idea!

Hohocabbage · 23/12/2018 00:39

I have known a teacher with adhd but there were issues at work with this (partly from lack of understanding i think).it does ncern me that you write that you say and do reckless things as surely this is a big negative in a career in education, healthcare or social work. Is there a reason why your choices are all public sector? There are lots of other professional roles out there to choose from.

Howdidweenduphere · 23/12/2018 00:40

I think both jobs you are considering you need to have a calling for! I considered teaching at one point but knew it wasn't right for me after a weeks work experience. My little one started school last year and my opinion on teachers has gone from high to sky high! Huge respect to them. What a bloomin hard job. You need to seriously consider what you want out of your career. Please don't go into caring/teaching unless you have a passion for it...i think you'll regret it.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 23/12/2018 00:59

to be so mean is uncalled for

Very true. But you were in fact very mean to insult every teacher by repeating that unpleasant and demeaning phrase.

Lalliella · 23/12/2018 01:10

That saying is offensive, patronising, condescending bullshit. Teaching is one of the hardest and most valuable jobs. You seem to want to go into it for the hours and the holidays, and have zero qualifications and an even worse attitude. Based on your OP I struggle to think of anyone less suited to teaching. HTH

ShadyLady53 · 23/12/2018 01:30

There is no work/life balance in teaching. You will have to put the children you teach before your own children, over and over again.

Most teachers I worked with arrived at school at 7.30am at the latest and left around 5.30pm on a good day. At home they then had to continue marking, lesson planning, resource making etc. Some nights, many nights, throughout the school year you will have parents evenings, options evenings, twilights (training), the school Carol Service/GCSE Presentation/Open Evening etc etc and your attendance will be expected. You will get to half term or Christmas or the Summer Break and be on your knees, totally exhausted from working 16 hour days and feeling guilty for not being their for your own kids. And maybe all that effort will have been for nothing because the software used by the schools and OFSTED say you haven’t met your targets for GCSE passes or SATS (because you were given all bottom set and they expected them to transform into the highest grade students) or you might have had an observation go wrong because a kid that no one can control kicked off and started swearing and throwing chairs at you and the other students or made sexual or racist or homophobic comments towards you and there is F all you can do about that. You will work almost every day of every holiday you get. I mean it.

And then, for the privilege, you’ll have to deal with everybody elses’ negative attitudes towards teachers. Maybe one night when you are on Mumsnet cos you can’t sleep thanks to stress, you’ll ready some goady fucker’s post saying “those who can’t teach”.

Honestly. You are not cut out for teaching. You do seem to enjoy care work and in nursing your holidays are your own at least (I’m the only family member who isn’t a nurse or a medic) but it’s still back breaking work with a hell of a lot of responsibility and you will have to work unsociable hours.

Your ADHD and the fact that you still struggle with that will be an issue you NEED to get FULLY under control if you want to be a professional of any kind.

I’d look into other career paths. Remember, a degree is not necessary for many jobs these days. Look at other QCF qualifications and other career paths. Most require an excellent work ethic, ability to apply oneself and a good, if not high, level of intelligence. Look into specialisations too, like becoming a Behaviour Mentor or Attendance Officer in a school, neither of which you need a degree for. Could you work in a nursery or become a child minder? If your heart is set on a degree, would you consider training as a speech therapist or play therapist?

You need to think outside the box.

Ladymargarethall · 23/12/2018 05:49

I was a teacher for 30 years. When I started you could get to school half an hour before the children and leave half an hour after them. Over the years it became more and more onerous, with greater expectations in terms of planning, targets, assessment etc. By the time I left it was all consuming.
It is a fantastic job, and because I love in the town where I taught I often see ex pupils and parents and hear how they have turned out as adults, but it really is not an easy job or a cushy little number.
And not is social work.

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 23/12/2018 05:53

This reply has been deleted

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Cookit · 23/12/2018 05:57

I don’t think anyone thinks that phrase applies to the actual teaching profession!

But yes there’s probably a gain of truth for other kinds of teachers or coaches - for instance, most golf pros at golf clubs who teach beginners were initially trying to get on the pro circuit. They couldn’t, so they coach golf (and are still better than 98% of the population).
Lots of actors eventually give up trying to make it and living off about 8k a year and start teaching evening classes. Etc etc.

sashh · 23/12/2018 06:08

Well GCSE Maths and an access course won't get you on to a teaching degree, you need GCSE Science and English too, oh and your access course needs some passess ar distinction level.

Shift work has advantages and disadvantages, yes you may well work a bank holiday, but you may not. You may also be able to see your children's nativity plays - you won't as a teacher.

FestiveNut · 23/12/2018 06:11

Just to point out, if you do access to education that would only enable you to teach primary and for that you need a science GCSE too.

whittingtonmum · 23/12/2018 06:16

Please don't become a teacher. You clearly lack the motivation for such an important job.