Worried for my brother

[Fifikittykat]

Annual Xmas dinner with all the family and I have just discovered my 23 year old brother is dating a woman of 32.

My brother is a sweet intelligent young man who has just started a professional career. His new girlfriend apparently works in the same industry but is more senior. They met at work.

I don't want to get flamed, but I'm worried this new girlfriend will take my brother on a path which will lead to him settling down too soon and him not enjoying his youth. He seems quite taken by her. From the pictures he has shared, she looks young like him but it doesn't change the fact they will have different expectations of the relationship.

AIBU to wonder if this woman will end up getting pregnant and trapping my brother?

You haven't even met her yet?

None of this is any of your business.

Maybe your brother is happy.

Maybe he will want to settle down with this woman.

He's an adult. She's an adult.

How you know they "will have different expectations of the relationship"?

If he doesn't want children, he should take responsibility for contraception in the relationship.

He's not obliged to have unprotected sex with her op. Ffs

AIBU to wonder if this woman will end up getting pregnant and trapping my brother?

I assume he’s aware of the existence of condoms?

Huh?

Just because she's 32 she's going to trap him? Maybe they are just happy and seeing where things go. They are both adults. Maybe you should atleast meet her before judging her.

So?

I met my partner at 19, we settled down.

She was 20 at the time

I understand that age makes some difference in relationships but if people want to settle down they do and if they don't, they won't

And settling down is no bad thing tbh

It's nice that you care so much about your brother but I do think you've pulled your judgey pants up a little too high!

Thanks for the replies, i actually feel a lot better just reading them. His girlfriend has already expressed her own worries to him re the age gap as she says she hopes to settle soon and would like children in the near future. I haven't met her yet, but I understand she is quite lovely and she has introduced him to new things he never previously had much interest in, such as travel etc which he is really enjoying. He seems very happy.

I met my husband when he was 18 and I was 24. We got engaged within a year. Our first child was born in his 19th year. We are celebrating 21 years together this year. Age is a number, and it was a joint decision to marry/have children, we were and still are in love. His mum says he was always older in years and I was perfect for him. Give her a chance, she may be the love of his life.

Honestly just judge this on her as a person and whether your brother is happy. My sil was the ‘older’ woman in a similar situation, they’ve been together for years now and have a lovely dd. No one has missed out on anything or been taken advantage of.

Whoa! You don’t even know this woman and you’ve labelled her as being someone who’s going to trap your brother ?!
Nice ..
maybe not be so judgemental eh?

I'm 10 years older than my DH, and we met when he was just turned 25.

We've been together for almost 20 years now, and still love each other very much.

Don't judge the woman because of her age.

I met my partner at work when he was 24 and I was 41. You’d have loved me lol

4 years later I can safely say I haven’t lead him down any path or stopped him having any fun OP

How about you treat your brother like the grown man he is?

I feel sorry for your brother having such a judgemental sister! You say he is happy so let him get on with it! I’m 33 and my OH is 24, we’ve been together for 2.5 years and are expecting our 2nd baby.
Age makes no difference. They’re adults. Leave them be

“He seems very happy”

Well, that’s your answer then, isn’t it?

My brother is 11 years younger than his wife. They've been happily married for 35 years and their son is married to a woman ten years his senior.

In short, YABU.