To think Xmas gifts need to stop now?

[Notatallobvious]

I have a long standing friend. We have DC who are now grown up (all over 21) and she still insists on us buying gifts for each other’s DC when they are all old enough to buy gifts for each other should they wish to. I was more than happy buying for them as children but it just seems ridiculous...I’ve mentioned it several times and her answer is always “I’m not going to stop buying gifts for them but you can stop if you want to” which makes me feel like a Scrooge. It’s not even about the money, I just think it’s daft. AIBU?

It is daft if you don't have a relationship with them. She's not insisting you buy her adult children tho.

If you want to stop then stop.

No YANBU, they are adults now. Maybe you could just say ‘I’ve mentioned this before but as the kids are grown up now I’m going to stop buying gifts for yours, and you don’t have to buy anything for mine either. It’s a nice gesture but now they’re adults I don’t think we nee to carry on’. You could even casually mention it to her DC so they know not to expect anything.

DisplayPurposesOnly we do have a relationship with them, just don’t see them that often as they all have their own lives now.

YANBU. If your DC told her (politely) that there was no need to get gifts for them any more, would she listen to them? They could suggest she donates to charity instead?

I'm in my late twenties and still get Xmas gifts from a couple of my mums closest friends! Who have known me all my life. I think it's really sweet & yes it's silly but I do love getting the little things (small,silly things usually) because I enjoy having things in my house from them / that remind me of them. Makes me feel like they still care about me. Just had my wedding and they were invited with their families, I loved it.

If you don't like buying, then just phase it out.. this year a little thing, next year a box of chocolate, then nothing.