Husband out drinking every weekend

[toronto74]

My husband continues to go out every weekend with his friends and either returns home at about 2am if not drinking or more recently has taken to staying out all night. Either sleeping in his car or staying at his friends. We have been married 8 years and have 2 children, 2 and 4. The going out has become more and more regular, because of the kids I can't go out every weekend and to be honest I wouldn't want to either. I'm more of a home body and in my late 30's not too interested in spending every weekend in pubs/bars. His behaviour upsets me, he can't see why it effects my life as 'the kids are in bed anyway' but I feel like he prefers to out with his mates rather than me and when he doesn't come home the next day until midday it effects the kids weekend. Not sure what to do... every time I get cross a out this he gets defensive, blames me for being a bore and threatens to leave...

LTB! Let him go

Tell him if he wants to behave like a single man then he can be one.

Let him leave. I couldn't be married to a man like that. He's clearly not a family man.

I used to be a real party animal in my 20s and the only married men that I saw out all night were not exactly the faithful type.

It's obviously who he is and he's making no effort to respect your wishes so I think you either accept it (you deserve better) or LTB.

My DS had that same problem with her husband, eventually he just upped and left because he didn't want to stay married. He should be pulling his weight with childcare, housekeeping and work, otherwise he's just a problem for you, like another child who should know better

At least he is predictable. Enjoy your kids and having that quality time with them if you dont want to leave him

Do you want this to be your life?
Think about it

If he's holding you to ransom fuck him off, let him enjoy his friends.

You can find someone who doesn't blackmail you or need to get pissed to entertain himself.

Let him leave then. I also seriously doubt he's sleeping in his car or with friends.

What's he like when he gets home at midday? Like he has been awake all night? I'm thinking cocaine.

Tell him to leave. You're alone anyway.
My DH was like this 22 years ago when ds1 was 3 and I was pregnant with ds2.
I left him. It gave him a massive shock. We were apart for 9 months. He stopped drinking and we reconciled.
He says if I hadn't left, he would just have carried on because every time we argued about it, he says he just didn't listen. It wasn't until he saw i was serious, that he got his act together.

Shit husband, shit father.

Most likely shagging around.

Why are you with him ?

He has checked out of the relationship

How on earth did it get to this?

FGS - sleeping in his car? a married man with two young children... staying out late, every weekend, probably hungover.
His priorities are totally wrong. Does he think he's a single 21 year old?

Can't he have a good time with you, such as have a bottle of wine the two of you, invite people over for dinner etc...

He's hardly a catch is he? You need to get really strict and tell him these days are over or you will be ending it. As another poster pointed out, he's a shit father and shit husband; clearly totally disrespectful to you all.

No way is he "sleeping in his car". If you believe that, you must have come down in the last shower.

∆∆∆What Anyfucker said.

My husband was sleeping at a friend's or in his van and going out every weekend. Turned out he was shagging a 20 year old for 6 months.

Darling I'm at tail end of a divorce after 28 years. Married 17 years ago. When we moved into our lively house and I was pregnant with 3rd boy. He starred soul weekend s along with his football membership and foreign games. Then it was music weekends at Butlins. 4 days at a time. I wasn't able to contact him. He used to leave me with 80 at most for 4 days for me and children. Unbelievable I've only got access to account he was spending up to 700 at a time on these weekends. Then it was boys sat night out. New handmade shoes clothes etc. . Wasn't even considered. And then found a key he was apparently going to his pals flat a 40 mun train journey ..every Sat after if not at football. After years he said he went to go and relax. His pals didn't meet up until hrs later. Found a hidden phone. . He would come home couldn't stand but had taken something as I could notice in the bed. When weere intimate when he was drunk or high he called me several times by other woman's name. A good pal called and said he's out of control serious addiction ..with drunk part drugs and women. His own pals. 1dt time ever I found 48 HR Viagra. A bag of drugs ..and lubricants and condons all hidden in his coat pocket. He didn't deny it. Said was sorry. But week later found over 20 pics hidden of a girl . Smiling blowing kisses with her dog on her hols. He said he'd met her 2 years before. But wouldn't work as she lived too far away!!!. Begged me to give us another chance. Month later found porn pics and texts and disgusting stuff. Tried to make excuses. . 8 years ago. He's been one steadily worse aggressive angry and verbally violent and mental. I left our bed 4 years ago. I filed for finite e a year ago. . I. Paying for financial order then final order. He moved out 4 months ago. I feel like I'm a new woman . My child are happier. But he still call thinking he can gas light me abuse me. He's a sad man
Sometimes we just have to admit we can't fix it. We aren't to blame. I've been called fat ugly old tramp z**t. Told😃😭 oaks I was a mental case alcoholic bad to kids felt sorry. . Denied it. But 2 wives who didn't know each other said same story. . He said he wasn't cut out for marriage or fatherhood... After 4 beautiful sons. He's jealous of them and it's his loss. I have reconnected with old pals and family who have reminded me who I am and always have been. So look forward love. Wish him the best and free yourself xx

Take him up on his threat offer to leave.

He will get himself a driving ban if found sleeping in his car. His behaviour is unreasonable.