Things I haven’t done and won’t do this Xmas!

[Piratepolly]

My mum is very ill with cancer and i’m really struggling with it tbh. I’m finding christmas tough going so I’m trying to simplify things a bit. To help me combat the inevitable stupid guilt that we lay on ourselves at this time of year come and celebrate with me the things we won’t be doing!

So this year I’m given myself a permission to have christmas off from:

Christmas cards
Visiting loads of relatives
Trying to be jolly and getting into the spirit of it
Listening to endless christmas music

What are you playing truant from? [grin}

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum

I've not had the best year and I've done very little. Have the decorations up, didn't bother with many Christmas cards.

I'm trying hard to enjoy the time off work but so far can't seem to get into the swing of things.

All if yours plus
Decorating the house
Going Christmas shopping
Having turkey

Sorry to hear about your mum

Turkey.
The first year of not having (adult) DC for Christmas dinner. So I'm having either venison, pork belly, or a chicken crown. Which ever I fancy on the day.
Also Quality street and roses. My DGM always got them both for us. But she passed away in October and I can't bring myself to get either.
I'm sorry about your Mum, I hope you find a way to enjoy your time together

I've been ill for a while but am currently in bed recovering from a bit of surgery.

I haven't bought any wrap up gifts.
I haven't sent cards.
Haven't spent three days creating a festive wonderland in the house.
Haven't done the stress test of a supermarket visit.
Haven't done any relative visits or had guests.

It's shaping up great

I'm not even having Christmas.

No decos, no turkey, no tree. Presents for family not until NY, voluntarily working all the days that aren't BH/weekends.

No biggie.

No Turkey
No Presents
Very few cards sent
No children here
No family

Sorry to hear about your Mum

This is bringing a smile to my face. Feel like we are the kids round the back of the bike shed being naughty

Thank you so much for all the well wishes about my mum

More things to add to the list:

Christmas lights outside
No turkey

Got little ones so still trying to keep fun stuff but its a very streamlined event this year. I keep thinking come 26th dec it is all over and gone in a puff of smoke. So much madness at this time of year.

Sorry about your mum .

However, I strongly suggest that you make a streamlined madness free Christmas your new normal.

Obviously a healthy mum would be the best thing you could have, and all you can do is hope for the best, but the silver lining in the cloud that is your DM being seriously ill is that realising that 90% of all the Christmassy shit does not matter one iota, and apart from presents for DCs, family time, treaty food, relaxing in front of some feel good Christmas films, maybe a family walk or other enjoyable activity, just about everything else is just pointless stressy nonsense that you do not have to participate in. Just ignore it and do Christmas your own way, not the retailer's way .

I tried to be a martyr last year for nowt now I'm cherry picking the bits of Christmas I want to do in bed.
Thing is everyone was so busy nobody noticed my heroic efforts

I'm lucky my DC are adults so don't need my festive spirit because it's well and truly buggered off.
This year all I have to 'do' is get a shower and get dressed and I only guarantee one of those things.

We have no tree and aren't doing presents. DD is 24 days old. I'm basically having a cheese-focussed Christmas and I don't care.

Christmas cards
Christmas Eve boxes
Spending more than £30 on any individuals present
Living up to my own totally unrealistic expectations
It’s been great

Stuff like this does put the nonsense of Christmas (which I do love) into perspective doesn't? The world won't stop turning if someone gets one less Christmas card.

I'm not bothering with the excess cheeses or nibbles etc in bulk that invariably end up half used and binned in January. We live near the M1 with a big Spar that will be open 24 hours on Christmas Day itself. Seriously if someone fancies something extra we will just go buy it.

I am just trying very, very hard to relax and not sweat the small stuff. Try not to get uptight about the house getting messy when we have guests and actually try to enjoy it instead of feeling stressed.

And also I’m going to try not to stab my DH for any implied criticisms of all my planning and shopping and smile sweetly and let him get on with it- he does most of the actual cooking.

We have 17 guests for a big family meal today. Wish me luck with all of the above.

Sorry to hear about your Mum xx
Each year I drop another obligation tradition
No Cards
No turkey
No house decorations except for one tree
No Christmas shopping
No Christmas Eve boxes

We'll focus more on spending time together, playing board games, taking long lovely dog walks to the pub eating and drinking and hopefully lots of laughter.

• I've not done the tree, yet.
• I've not done any gift shopping (close relatives do the kids). I've asked yearly to stop gift giving for adults. We could all buy stuff we wanted ourselves tbh, so i dont see the point apart from consumerism.
• Not my year to host, so no cooking or associated food shopping.

If I didnt have kids I'd do nothing at all tbh.

Not hosting the inlaws! win win.

DM was ill all summer and died on Nov 1; the dog had to be put to sleep at the end of July; DH has cancer and treatment not yet begun for various reasons.

DH, the DDs (adult) and I are planning to basically hibernate, not see anyone other than us and DD2s boyf, eat what we want when we want, drink what we want when we want, and generally have a gentle time.

sorry about your mum op, I hope the new year brings better news.

I haven’t done cards except for my mum & dad
No adult presents
We’ve hugely streamlined Xmas dinner and are just having the bits we actually like
Haven’t done all the stressful days out with the kids this year, just a visit to Santa and we’ll go ice skating next weekend

No-ones noticed a difference, no-one cares
I’ll be removing even more fuss next year

My dad died this year, so I'm really not giving a shit about Christmas.

No tree or decorations
No cards
No shopping for Christmas food (going for carvery on Xmas day)
Going on holiday on boxing day (just want to get the hell out of here!)

I've only bought presents for 3 children - my son, my niece and my nephew. Total cost of presents less than £100.

So sorry to hear about your mum

We lost our little one at 22 weeks pregnant on the 14th (TFMR) and so I'm not feeling very festive.
I'm basically giving myself permission to do the bare minimum and only do what I want to do/what my husband and son want to do.

Take this time for you OP.

to you, @Treaclepie19. I wish you comfort and plenty of rest.

2 years ago we buried DD four days before Christmas. It made us realise that you can still have Christmas without the weeks of build up and stress. That year we put together a very minimal Christmas in 2 days and that continues now - not because of the loss of DD and it being a difficult time of year for us, but because we realised most of it is unnecessary.

@BipBippadotta thank you ❤

@bigbluebus im so sorry for your loss

(My flowers disappeared from that post - here they are - and for everyone who’s lost or is facing the loss of a loved one)