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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you would do in 2019 if...

36 replies

ShitOnItt · 21/12/2018 19:49

... you are planning to TTC in 2020?

We are getting married early next year and I’ve said to DP I would like to enjoy the first year of being married before we think about having children (he is keen!). We will be 27 (me) and 30 (him).

So, as this could potentially be our last child/pregnancy free year (although I am assuming it will take a while for various reasons!).... what would be on your list to do/make the most of before having kids?

Things I’ve got on the list so far range from boring (save up a certain amount and finish work exams) to low key but fun (have a boozy weekend just the two of us in a nice hotel).

Xmas Grin
OP posts:
scarylea · 21/12/2018 19:50

Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! And then sleep some more! 😀

RumAppleGinger · 21/12/2018 19:54

Proper all inclusive holiday that involved sleeping, reading, Sun bathing, drinking, eating and dancing into the early hours.

DH and i had this booked only for me to be 15 weeks pregnant and sick as a dog by the time we flew. Holidays can still be good with kids but they are very different!

FoxFoxSierra · 21/12/2018 19:55

Lots of lovely weekends away, Paris, Amsterdam etc

HJWT · 21/12/2018 19:55

Sleep in, sleep through, go and buy a pint of milk from the shop, eat takeaways, go to the cinema, go out on date nights, walk around shopping centres/garden centres/ even supermarkets.

Once you have a child all of this comes with the agro of 'put your shoes and coat on' 'sit down in your car seat 'don't take your arms out of the straps AGAIN!!' 'Sit down in the trolly' 'stop screaming people are trying to eat'
😂😂😂😂

PavlovianLunge · 21/12/2018 20:00

Some city breaks... a few years ago, DP and I went to Ljubljana, Belgrade, Skopje and Bratislava in one trip. Great experience, and I’d like to do it again, maybe Baltic cities next time, or even better, some of the Western Asia former soviet states.

ForalltheSaints · 21/12/2018 20:07

Any place you want to visit that is not really one you think you would enjoy with a child.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 21/12/2018 20:21

Not put off anything in 2020. Sorry to be a killjoy but it might not happen that quickly in 2020 and the amount of time I have not committed to stuff because I ‘might’ have been pregnant was too many. I’ve been TTC for 2.5 years now and and have learnt to just book stuff and go with it.

In 2019 if there are any zika countries you would like to visit pre children book holidays to them early on in year as men have to be zika free for 6 months.

start taking folic acid and vitamin d.

Enjoy time together spend doing what you love now.

Try not to obsess about what it will be like with a baby.

Sincerely hope it’s easier for you x

kitkatsky · 21/12/2018 20:27

Sleep, nights out, holidays! I know you think you know what exhausted feels like, but I'm afraid you don't. Travel lots, do stupid things and enjoy not worrying 24/7. And start taking folic acid just in case

Bluelady · 21/12/2018 20:32

Definitely city breaks that are child unfriendly. A lovely holiday in a child free destination. Basically all the things you're going to have to swerve for at least 15 years. Don't waste time sleeping, you can't save it up!

Original poster
ShitOnItt · 21/12/2018 20:46

Sorry for your troubles @whatelsecould - am not expecting it to happen immediately for us due to issues I’ve had in the past so that definitely sounds like good advice about not putting things off.

We are actually going to a Zika county on our honeymoon that I’ve been desperate to visit for years so big tick there!

Just having a browse at some city breaks on my phone - we have been to Paris and Amsterdam in the last year and had a fab time in both so I will definitely book some more up!

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 21/12/2018 20:47

We decided to live in the income we would have lost child and put the rest into savings.

On a lighter note, I would watch every tv show and movie and read every book because the consumption rate goes way down post baby.

FestiveFlorence · 21/12/2018 20:50

Pop out. Like if you need something from the corner shop just go and appreciate that it takes only 5 mins Grin

Now I have a toddler I can "pop" a bit more... first time a quick shopping trip was going well though he then tripped and fell in a puddle - full outfit change needed!!

Have a fun year, this is a great idea for a thread

SoyDora · 21/12/2018 20:50

We spent a year living in Madrid the year before TTC! Obviously not for everyone Wink, but we spent a year basically wandering around bars/restaurants/museums, using it as a base to travel Spain and the rest of Europe, basically doing whatever the hell we wanted!

currentcake · 21/12/2018 20:53

I'm absolutely with @scarylea
We get married early next year too but already have Dd1 who is almost 2 and expecting baby number 2.
All I ever wish for is sleep. Sleep is something you will miss so badly when you have a baby.
Just stay in bed with DH for the year

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 21/12/2018 20:54

I've never been a huge one for lie-ins but I'd lie in if I had my time over. I'd lie in every weekend for months on end til I was sick of my bed.

I'd also travel. We travel with the DC frequently and have done since they were tiny, but there are a couple of places we never made it to that I'd be reluctant to visit with the DC; I'd think really hard and find somewhere perfect for couples and go there.

currentcake · 21/12/2018 20:54

Oh and enjoy your cups of tea hot because that will go straight out of the window. Cold tea for a long time

GrandmaJane · 21/12/2018 20:55

Alert the press. Get my book and film deals in place. Set up my website etc. Open some extra bank accounts. Buy video equipment to make high quality films I can upload to my YouTube channel. Warn my family.

I am 61. I live alone. It’s going to cause a sensation ! They’re still talking about the last one, 2000 years later. Grin

Emma145 · 21/12/2018 20:57

Another vote for sleep!

Otherwise just more date nights with your partner even just going to the cinema together or for a meal.

Processedpea · 21/12/2018 20:58

don't plan anything seriously life happens, without planning

recently · 21/12/2018 20:59

Boring but all the little diy jobs that you've never got round to because if you haven't done them yet, you won't want to do them with a baby!

BifsWif · 21/12/2018 20:59

Lie in, pub lunches, long lazy weekends....

Seriously, just sleep.

Kemer2018 · 21/12/2018 21:00

Light candles everywhere! Until a child starts nursery, kiss goodbye to candles. I missed candles.
I light them ALL THE TIME 😁😁😁😁

museumum · 21/12/2018 21:02

Last thing we did before ttc was an amazing trekking holiday at high altitude in South America.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 21/12/2018 21:02

Lots and lots and lots of mid-day sex!!!! Loud sex! Sex with the room door open! Morning sex!!! Sex in the kitchen and the living room and the hallway and on the stairs and in the bathroom and in the room that is currently a storage mess but will be the nursery! Aaaaaaaall the sex!!!!!!!!!

megcustard · 21/12/2018 21:04

What I miss most are lie ins and afternoon pub drinking. I haven't sat in a beer garden child free for nearly a decade and I still feel jealous in the summer when I see child free people drinking in the day.