Posters who do not listen to advice

[crispysausagerolls]

I am sure AIBU but in the last 48 hours there have been countless posts which have gone like this:
OP - this is my problem, what the hell do I do?!
MN - here are several reasonable suggestions
OP - I am going to do nothing

WHY DID YOU POST THEN?!? Just to vent?! If you want to vent (like I do 😬) that’s fine but don’t ask for advice and get everyone sucked in like that if you aren’t going to bloody do anything. ARGH, giving me festive rage. 😡🎅🏻

Especially when they OP then disappears, never to be heard from again.

Except when they then come back in a couple of months with the same issue

Probably because you read a whole load of judgemental negative and quite nasty posts amongst the helpful ones and guesswhich ones most people focus on.

Personally I never met a more vicious group than posters on AIBU. As a collective of course. There are going to be some diamonds amongst them

No, some of the posts had really kind and helpful comments! But the OP gave 0 fucks. Some they just didn’t come back (presumably because they knew they would do nothing anyway) and some came back to say they would do nothing.

Yeah ‘some’ of the posts are helpful. That’s what I mean. Some people on here are but you lose focus on them whilst thinking wtf about the vicious ones

If you have a genuine problem AIBU is the last place you should post.

There's always a better topic but unfortunately people post in AIBU 'for traffic' then throw all of their toys out of the pram when the traffic isn't saying what they want.

I’ve been shredded on here before (who hasn’t?) but it was actually helpful because I was in the wrong and took the bloody advice offered!!!

There’s that and then there are several bloody bizarre threads up at the moment too.

That’s not entirely true as sometimes it’s the only place you get an answer

Totally agree and the drip feeding gets more and more ridiculous as they try to convince everyone that they ANBU.

FBEH I would say people are honest rather than vicious and not everyone wants to hear the truth.

The majority of people who ask for advice either on MN, another forum or even real life don't actually want advice. They just want someone to listen. Listen, not to comment and not to judge.
Some will take on board the advice offered and may act accordingly

I would rather one decent answer in the right topic than hundreds of rubbish ones in AIBU.

AIBU is a joke topic IMO and should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Suggestions are better than advice. Not many of us are qualified to give advice but we may have some experience. Even then, we're different people so have to tread carefully.

It's good to share problems and dilemma, sometimes just doing that helps.

It is frustrating when someone posts about abuse being frightened. Lots of helpful answers, then someone posts a link to where there had been an identical thread posted by the same person a couple of months earlier.

Then I do retreat.

Fbeh I'm with you and I have found the very worst ones are precisely the ones who use 'we' and say things like... '' We have been so kind and helpful op''(they couldn't have been more vicious) are you not going to take our advice....

How presumptious to think any poster should just swollow the bitter pills dished out on aibu. The great posts do get drowned out sometimes

I’ve ghosted these pages for a while. There’s honest in a critical but positive way and then there’s honest in a ha ha I get to rip you to shreds way. The former is ace. The latter is people getting their kicks and I’d love to see what happened if they act like that in real life.

Every now and then I just stop coming on here because I find the nastiness depressing. How low can humanity get that they feel the need to be vicious to people who are on here because they need help and probably don’t have someone to talk to or they would be doing that instead!

Mad whilst trolls do thrive here it's also possible of course someone is dealing with the same issues.

I've posted novels about my in laws over the years! But slowly I have evolved and moved on. Who cares!

It's rude to post someone's back posts it really is. The whole pont of mm is remaining anymous and with the mail and sun ect lifting stories all the time it's perfectly natural people tweak details and change things round a bit!!

The thing is, abuse posts are very frustrating because they are upsetting and it’s difficult to imagine someone in that situation and unable to help themselves (eg the woman whose partner took her newborn baby from her against her will, she never returned to the thread). HOWEVER those are understandable because of course it’s so difficult to remove yourself from an abusive relationship etc.

The ones which really annoy me are the ones where OP can’t just grow a pair of balls! “MIL is feeding my baby food which is bad for her, what do I do?!” = fucking say something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do think the forum is a lot quieter these days perhaps because of some of the nasty posts put up. Maybe they still lurk.

Agree fbeh.

Thankfully wondeful helpful and funny kind people also post. I've had more support and help personally on here than abuse but I must admit sometimes the rottweilers get hold of a thread and drag it down and tear it to pieces them the tone has been set and there's no way back

But then you only get a snapshot. Perhaps if she says something she’ll get it in the neck from DH who she is not admitting to herself is an abusive cockwomble.

I ‘love’ the ones where someone suddenly decides the ops lying and then other posters jump on the bandwagon to have a go. There’s real mileage in that old saying if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. Which doesn’t mean you can’t be honest you just do positive criticism

A lot of AIBU threads seem to get a couple of first pages of "jump on the band wagon" types that echo the rubbish that the first couple of aggressive posters post (reminds me of the crowd outside Brian's mum's house in Life of Brian!).

Sometimes people need to go away and reflect for a couple of days, but advice given will be somewhere in their minds. Some people will do the right thing, but not straight away.

Mostly though, you have to remember that, while it can be highly entertaining, there is a human being, often upset, at the other end of the screen. It's not a TV show. It doesn't always go the way you want it to.

Zevitevitchofcwsmas Oh totally agree! It’s like watching a car crash. Horrible

Honeyroar

You said it better than me!

Thing is a lot of posters don't want to hear it even if they have asked for advice. Maybe TAAT but there was an affair one and despite hundreds of posters assuring her what a bad idea it would be I'd bet my bottom dollar she will go ahead and shag him

I agree with all of you about threads where the OP just gets absolutely pilloried.

I am not talking about those threads. The last few days have been several threads with 90% kind and helpful advice that hasn’t been accepted.