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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's no longer safe to travel abroad as a young female

41 replies

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 21/12/2018 19:35

And that the kind of adventures where you used to go off, stay in hostels, have a great experience meeting new people are just too risky for young women these days.

Just in recent weeks we've had Grace Millhane murdered in New Zealand by a man who liked her, yesterday we had two Norwegian women killed and beheaded by four men in Morocco and then there's the 4 British schoolgirls and their female teacher who were raped by gunmen whilst volunteering in Ghana just last week.

It pisses me off that so many comments centre around the naivety of these women in travelling solo but if I were a young woman I just don't think I'd want to risk it.

It makes me so Angry that young women can't go off and have an adventure be free anymore.

OP posts:
museumum · 21/12/2018 19:37

I don’t think it’s any worse than when I was a student 20 years ago.

ILoveDolly · 21/12/2018 19:38

Oh ffs it has NEVER been "safe" for young women to go anywhere alone.
Some countries are better than others but frankly there are women murdered regularly in their own countries everywhere. Travelers are particularly at risk because they are obviously far from family and probably relaxed.

3out · 21/12/2018 19:38

I think bad things have always happened, it’s just that we hear of them more now due to the way media is compared to 10, 20, 30 years ago

LordEmsworth · 21/12/2018 19:38

Huh? From 3 cases you have extrapolated that everywhere "abroad" is dangerous for young women, by comparison to the UK where it is safe?

Yes, YABU.

cardibach · 21/12/2018 19:42

It’s terrible when someone is attacked or murdered, yes. However, how many thousands of trips have been taken in perfect safety? How many young women have been attacked in their own towns and cities?
A sense of proportion is needed.

ILoveDolly · 21/12/2018 19:42

In some countries women who go to places unaccompanied by men are particularly at risk because unattended women are considered far game OR dangerously immoral. You need to be aware of the local climate regarding women. Probably sensible to go in a mixed group. The very presence of a man renders you safer because he's like your chaperone. This was the case twenty, thirty years, forty ago and still is.

Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 21/12/2018 19:49

Ghana, Morocco you can convince yourself that it's down to negative cultural beliefs towards women, but even New Zealand. is there nowhere that is safe for women?

I suppose I'm just angry because whenever you look at the news there is usually a woman raped or murdered by a man and lately they seem to be women assaulted or murdered while travelling.

I'm glad I didn't know this stuff when I travelled as a student.

OP posts:
Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 21/12/2018 19:52

In some countries women who go to places unaccompanied by men are particularly at risk because unattended women are considered far game OR dangerously immoral.

Yes that is an attitude that I met a lot, along with the idea that western girls were easy. And therefore...

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 21/12/2018 19:55

is there nowhere that is safe for women?

Not really. So you might as well go travelling as stay at home. Seriously, I know it sounds worse when it's abroad, but this kind of stuff happens to women in the UK too.

ThePeppermintMonkey · 21/12/2018 19:55

The Morocco murders were a terrorist attack. I have little doubt that they'd have beheaded two Western men too, though it might not have been quite so easy, but yes male violence against women is a major issue. It makes me angry that women are blamed for it though. One of the most dangerous things women can do is to have a partner or former partner in their lives. It's far more dangerous than travelling considering that women are much more likely to be murdered by someone they knew, but women go travelling and everyone says what did they expect?

Heatherjayne1972 · 21/12/2018 19:56

You don’t need to ‘go abroad ‘ to get murdered /raped/mugged etc

Any of those things can and do happen in every village town and city in every country every day

anitagreen · 21/12/2018 19:57

It's not the country it's the people over here we have men killing woman on a daily basis

BoswellandForshort · 21/12/2018 19:57

It’s not unique to travellers though. Young women are raped and murdered in their hometowns. There really isn’t anywhere safe to be a woman.

mbosnz · 21/12/2018 20:00

I'm from New Zealand. We have one of the highest rates of domestic violence, and violence against women in the world. So there's no 'even in New Zealand'. It is dangerous to be a woman, anywhere, in this world. It is not safe, to be a woman, here, in this world. How many women have been murdered in this country this year?

I am VERY glad that my niece, when she came over here to do her big OE on her own, was very much aware of the risks of travelling as a young woman, particularly on her own. Not knowing about it doesn't lessen the risk.

Insomnibrat · 21/12/2018 20:00

I'm considering booking a solo trip to Mexico later this year. Should I not go?

goldopals · 21/12/2018 20:00

I've never had any issues being by myself

RagingWhoreBag · 21/12/2018 20:02

I was going to say what PeppermintMonkey said - you’re more likely to be raped or murdered by the man walking you home safely - or in your own home by your partner - than by a random stranger.

Women should walk the streets alone and night and go travelling rather than get married to stay safe. Statistically speaking. Sad but true.

MojoMoon · 21/12/2018 20:04

You, as a woman, are most likely to be murderered by your husband or partner (or ex husband/partner), then your dad, then your brother.

The location women are most likely to get murdered in is their own home.

So you are safer going abroad alone than in your house with your partner or family home.

This was true when you were young and now. Nothing has changed.

PavlovianLunge · 21/12/2018 20:05

I'm considering booking a solo trip to Mexico later this year. Should I not go?

If you start a thread in travel, you should get some great advice. My experience of Mexico was 30 years ago, so probably not of much use to you. (DP got biffed on the back of the head in Puerta Vallarta, but it was a poorly lit side road, and was the only whiff of trouble we had.)

Purpleartichoke · 21/12/2018 20:06

It has never been safe for women to be out and about alone. It doesn’t matter if you are at home or traveling, the only real option is to always keep your guard up and avoid situations that make you an easier target. It was true when I was young and it is still true today.

NotAnotherJaffaCake · 21/12/2018 20:07

I think it’s more that women are lulled into a false sense of security, that just because you can get so easily to someplace like Morocco with Thomas Cook, it’s just like Spain. Very easy to forget how most of the world treat women from the comfort of your first world student house.

It was standard advice to wear a fake wedding ring in many places not long ago. And most women wouldn’t have dreamed of going travelling to many places, so it didn’t get talked about.

Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 21/12/2018 20:13

but women go travelling and everyone says what did they expect?

Oh god, yes, and it's used to fuel a racist agenda in a kind of "western women don't realise how lucky they are" narrative as if we should be grateful for the right to not be raped/murdered.

OP posts:
canigetaliein · 21/12/2018 20:14

I’m not sure about it being worse abroad but here in the UK I do feel that there seems to be an increase in the level of violence & a rise in rapes against women. Incidents that were shocking 10 years ago don’t seem shocking anymore & victim blaming seems to be on the rise. I mean how can a man inflict 40 injuries on his partner, spray bleach on her face & leave her to die get just over 3 years? wtf!

HipHipHippo · 21/12/2018 20:19

This doesn't just happen when women are alone abroad. In some cases it makes no difference whether or not they are 'accompanied' by men, which makes it all the more scary.

DannyWallace · 21/12/2018 20:21

I worked/back packed in New Zealand almost 11 years ago. A young British woman had just been murdered there.
Let me tell you, the community in the area were as shocked and shaken as we were.
You get evil people anywhere in the world (including here! Plenty of people get murdered in the UK and the USA!) but you can't be so afraid of dying that you're too scared to live!