Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not pay nursery / confront them

8 replies

Greysgirl · 21/12/2018 14:52

My 3 year old DS has been at his nursery for 18 months, perfectly happy, settled in no problem and the owner comments regularly on what a loving little boy he is. Perhaps she says that to all parents.... don’t know. However, we gave notice just under a month ago as the 30 hours childcare scheme has come into effect where we live and our current nursery isn’t doing it. It’s the only reason we are changing nurseries, we will save over £700 a month.

When we have notice the owner was horrible, saying where we were going was shit and slagging off the staff there, saying I’ll put her out of business and she’s sure we’ll be back etc. I can handle that, she’s obviously bitter. My AIBU is this, my DS has turned from a happy little boy into a tearful wreck when dropped off in the mornings, he tells me “x has said Santa won’t bring me presents because I’m naughty”, “x gave out treats but not for me because I’m naughty” and similar things. I asked the owner if he’d been behaving himself recently and she said he’d been fine, I wanted to give her an opportunity to say “well hes been playing up” before I mentioned anything about DS comments.

I’m not sure what to do, do I confront them? I feel he’s being treated badly, he’s come home stinking of old wee and with clothes on back to front and that’s never ever happened before. All this has been exclusively since we gave notice. He’s due back in jan for 3 days before he goes to the new place but I’ve taken annual leave and am keeping him at home. I don’t feel I want to pay for those 3 days if he’s being mistreated. Help!

OP posts:
BlueSuffragette · 21/12/2018 15:02

Go in and talk to the owner/manager about your concerns 're the recent poor quality of care. Explain if there is anymore you will raise a formal complaint and inform Ofsted as you feel it is victimisation. Ask why they have decided not to offer the 30 hours as this will have a big impact when others choose to leave. Any setting that takes it's frustrations out on children is a very poor one and so I would complain, leave and report them anyway.

Berthatydfil · 21/12/2018 15:04

I can understand old nursery feeling a little put out you are moving him, but £700 is a lot of money for you.
So they should understand.
This kind of thing is a risk in business and nurseries are a specific time limited buisiness as children leave when they start school anyway. Also people move or their circumstances change so children leaving should not be a huge shock and they should build that into their budgets and cash flows.
Also I’m assuming they have made a business decision not to offer the free places so should have anticipated that at least some children would end up leaving as a result.
It’s unacceptable that they should be so unkind to your son though and unprofessional in slagging off the competition. It would put me off recommending them to anyone.
I think I would send an email to the manager or owners.

MoanaofMotunui · 21/12/2018 15:04

I haven't got anything helpful to say op, but just wanted to say that's shocking. My DD was treated appallingly at her preschool and no one believed us but we contacted our local authority to report the situation and seek advice and they found a whole host of educational and safeguarding malpractices being made by the preschool. It was put into special measures by ofstead and the staff member in question was quickly dismissed.

I'd absolutely recommend seeking advice from CAB or your local authority's education/ safeguarding department. Good luck xx

OlennasWimple · 21/12/2018 15:12

If you believe that your DS has been treated badly, then you should raise it with them. Not "confront them", but have a grown-up conversation about your concerns

Have you spoken to them at all about the issues such as him coming home in smelly clothes? If not, why not?

smerlin · 21/12/2018 15:19

Please speak to them and report to Ofsted if necessary. They could be doing this to other children even after your son is safely out of there

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 21/12/2018 15:37

That's absolutely disgusting OP. No matter what happened between you and nursery (and taking him out because no free hours is a completely valid reason, few parents would pay that much extra just to have a nursery they preferred) there is absolutely no excuse ever for taking out their issues on a toddler. That's absolutely disgusting behaviour. I'd speak to them but the kind of people that do that are not probably going to admit it and will count on it being your word against theirs. Record everything and put in a complaint. See if this has happened to any other children.

Janedoe5000 · 21/12/2018 15:49

Do not take your son back there.

Trust your senses. Some people just cannot deal with rejection.

Confront the nursery with everything you've said here and do not pay from the time you have your notice and started to notice the drop in service.

Greysgirl · 21/12/2018 16:18

Thank you for your replies, to answer a few questions

Yes I have spoken to them about him coming home in smelly clothes, there was no explanation, just an “oh sorry I’m not sure how that happened”. That was not the nursery owner, she wasn’t around the next day so I spoke to one of the staff.

Confront was a bad choice of words, I quite happy to have a discussion with them about these issues and the payment but judging on the response I got when we gave notice I imagine the owner will be all guns blazing.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread