This is more a WWYD than an AIBU.
My 90 year old mother has 'walking pneumonia'. She has been to the GP and is taking antibiotics. She lives with my brother (late fifties) in an isolated and (to put it kindly) run down farmhouse.
I see my mother almost every day and make sure that: her bed is dry and made (the house is damp and badly heated). I have bought a small stand alone heater for her room. I also make sure that she and my brother have some decent food (mainly microwave meals that are simple to heat up) and I tidy up as much as they will allow me to.
However, there are some things that I cannot afford to help with. For example, their boiler burst a few months ago and the floorboards upstairs , near the boiler, have rotted through. There are also two substantial holes in the roof of the house.
My brother now heats water in a 'Baby Burco' and claims the repairs will cost too much. The house, despite my attempts to clean it, is still extremely dirty. I seem to tidy and remove the surface dirt, but neither my brother or my mother like me to interfere.
I have spoken with my sister and agreed that there will come a time when my mother will have to lodge with my sister. I have no space in my house, but I would do whatever I could if my sister could not take her. My mother will not hear of such 'nonsense'.
My ex husband spoke to social services about the situation a little while ago (prior to the pneumonia) and was told that if people chose to live like this, there was nothing they could do.
I suppose I am just worried and frustrated. I think my mother's living conditions have contributed to her illness and that if she stays in these conditions she is not going to survive.
WWYD