Is it more beneficial to send Children to a nursery or a childminder rather than pay £1K a month nursery fees? **Title Edited by MNHQ**

[asnugglysnerd]

Hello,

Just weighing up potential childcare options... nursery or childminder.... Nursery costs are so expensive... £1200 a month it seems in my area... What is the point in going back to work!?!? I earn more than that but it is just so much! I know that they are looking after our kids and 99% of the nursery workers deserve more than they are paid, but taking everything else away aside the cost, that is a lot of expenditure...

Of course I will, I love my job, but can anyone give me a run down on pros and cons of nursery v childminder?

Thank you!

Dirty

Ithink it's a stupid thing to say all women are capable of being sahm's when they openly admit on here that they aren't and that work is their sanity, can't cope at home etc. Not the words of somebody who enjoys caring for their children all day.
We are all different, it's not a judgement, I'm not capable of working when I have children to care for.
Isn't it great we are all different.

With a CM, IMO much depends on the number and ages of the mindees and CM’s DC, what school runs she does etc, eg sometimes DC spend ages in cars. Is more of a home environment with outings, which I liked.

@asnugglysnerd

Report your original post to mumsnet OP, and ask them to change the title. Change it to 'is it more beneficial to stay at home with the kids, rather than pay £1K a month childminding fees?'

Many people will not see your updates, and you will get snapped at for days.

To be fair, your thread title is NOTHING to do with what you are asking. Why did you word it 'to never work again' when you meant shall I stay at home for several years?'

Why doesn't society tolerate subsidised childcare?

Dumsumlosessum Yes I have learnt that haha. Learning curve #1 I am sure of many on Mumsnet!

Yeah it could be a consideration - not sure if the area we live would be overly attractive to a potential Au Pair... From any I have spoken to during my career as a nanny, they prefer cosmopolitan areas with a lot of other opportunities... Again, I could be wrong and have made too bold a statement...

I chose a hold minder as I found a good one very near work.She did 2days and was very happy as she is an only child and this gave her a more family based experience.

some women just aren't capable of being sahm's and readily admit it.

Jesus wept. Imagine if someone put 'some women are incapable of supporting themseleves or keeping a job while they have kids. It's better for these women to stay at home and be supported by the man in their life'

I don't think one is outright better than the other. I think different children suit different environments. I originally looked at childminder but found very few that I felt would be a good fit, and those few didn't have availability for what we needed. So we found a nursery that is perfect for my daughter. She does very few hours there, but has settled in lovely and she actually enjoys going, they are good with her allergies and I trust the staff.

I would personally look into both, go and view a few different places (we always turn up unannounced so we get a real look at how the place is run)

redandyellowandpinkandgreen Well, that is the kind of feeling I got when I went through the expected costs etc... Kind of a throw myself on the floor and complain over a glass of wine type of mood.....

and I assumed (Incorrectly) that people would read the entire thing and then comment accordingly, as opposed to

Good idea though - I am going to contact them now! I don't want to continue to write the same thing in a million different ways

Jesus wept. Imagine if someone put 'some women are incapable of supporting themseleves or keeping a job while they have kids. It's better for these women to stay at home and be supported by the man in their life'

Erm, I did. Me

What about aupairing?

Au pairs are 100% not meant to have sole full-day charge of an under-2. They are for school or nursery wraparound care. Someone who lives in your house and cares all day for a preschool child is a live-in nanny, and should be vetted and paid accordingly.

We started with nursery as I didn't know a childminder. Found a childminder and much prefer her. She is like and auntie and genuinely cares for the children. Takes them to toddler class and does lots of crafts. More care than nursery. She doesn't take more than 2 pre schoolers to keep it enjoyable.

Difficulty is getting to know a good childminder, it happened by accident for me. I wouldn't leave with a childminder unless I knew them or recommended by a close friend.

Nursery was good, but I like the home environment of childminder.

Nursery everytime for me. Cover in the event of staff holidays or sickness, rich stimulating environment with lots of space and equipment , no visitors, knowing where my child is at all times, no school runs, usually no own children, often professional companies bought in for languages, clubs etc.

I regret going back to work and paying £800 a month in childcare to work 2.5 days a week. I wasn't bring in very much more than that. No point at all.
I was worried I'd never get another job if I left. Or that would be the end of my career.

In hindsight, should have waiting till DD was eligible for the 30 hours free childcare at 3yo (for working parents). It's only been worth financially worth me working since getting that.

As others have said, it all depends on the individual CM or nursery. I was all signed up for a nursery, went for a last look round and found that all the staff I had met on my previous visit had left.

Ended up choosing a CM instead. My CM was a mature lady with teenage children, very calm and articulate. She was never ill, not once.

In contrast many of the nursery staff in my area where just out of education and had come over from Eastern Europe to improve their english. They were nice people but their lack of experience with kids did show in some cases. I think it is good for children to be around people with different backgrounds, accents etc but when the majority of staff don't have great English I do not feel that is a good learning environment for children learning to talk.

Another benefit of a CM is that the children can experience more variety, mine used to go to various classes, church playgroups, play parks etc. I feel it must be boring for children who are stuck within 4 walls all day with the occassionally trip to the playground. A good nursery will spend lots of time outdoors and doing trips, but not all do this.

I took 5 years out and had a truly wonderful time with the little ones.

I returned to work to a different post and have never felt that taking time out adversely affected my career in any way.

What's the rush? Enjoy one thing at a time if your OH can support you for a few years. You will know when the time is right to return. I would be pig sick doing £1200's worth of work a month just to pay someone else to do what I would enjoy doing myself!

I deeply regret going down the route of ‘no point of working as the childcare costs are so high’.

For one, by keeping your job, even if it makes no difference to the money available at the end of the month, you keep getting experience. You still have a job. You have some financial independence.

In 5 years from now, you will have dcs going to school so more money available and still your financial independence. And your pension building up.

Another 5 years or so, they will be at secondary school. No more childcare to pay, more money. You financial independence and 10 years contribution in your pension.

Instead, Now I have two teenagers. No pension to talk about. No financial independence (which then make it harder to leave an unsuitable relationship).

Seriously, look at the long term picture. Not working is NOT a good idea in a society that expects women to be able to fully stand up in their two feet, financially, regardless or not of them stepping down to raise children.
You wouldn’t think about a man not working like this. No man would think about doing that BECAUSE it is so unsafe to do so (job opportunities, pension, wages etc etc). The same is now true for women.

God, OP, report your post and get the title changed quickly, or you'll be drowning in "I never worked again and I'm sooo happy" posts.

CountessVonBoobs yep you are right! they have a lot of limitations of their work, and rightly so. I would hire a nanny (If income permitted) if I wanted that type of childcare (in my house, 12hr days etc)

How many children are you putting in nursery for £1200 a month?! Round my way it would cost me £1k than that to put 2 in nursery full time. Which is why I worked part time evenings around DH's shifts.

EtVoilaBrexit Thank you, all very fair points... Just really wanted to know about nurseries/childminder, but I have learnt that my title has misled people who have skimmed and not read the entire post/updates!

What Notacluethisxmas said.

I chose nursery for the following 3 main reasons. It was always open, so I didn't have to find cover if the childminder was sick or on holiday. In the final year, the nursery followed the early years curriculum that would be followed at school, leading to a smooth transition to school. There was the possibility of career progression for the young women working there, which I felt would ensure that they put their best effort into their work.

I know a lot of people that do childminder until three and then either full time nursery or a mix of both. My CMs actually do nursery runs, eg have the child until 12 then take them to nursery for the afternoon.

Remember childcare costs aren't just your responsibility ( unless you're a single parent) they should be shared proportionally just like any other bill.

We chose nursery - partly because they're open all year round which offered us far more flexibility