AIBU to want a birthday?

[Hollygoverylightly]

'Want' sounds a bit needy, which is far from my thoughts on this. Being born so close to Christmas you get used to having christmas wrapping paper, no balloons (too many baubles already hanging up), everyone is having Christmas parties, so you can't squeeze in birthday drinks. All you lovely mums that are born around the same time totally understand, I know.

This year my SO said I would have to wait until Christmas for my birthday present (heard that one before), I said of course and thank you, then I said 'all I would like for my birthday is a cake and some balloons (because I have never had them 😁).

Basically my special day was me going to work (needs must of course I don't mind), picking up my DS from his friend's, rushing back because SO had a table booked, rushed to get ready, had a pub meal and hour and a half later he is watching darts anf kicking back.

For some reason I got really upset, I just would've like something very simple that felt like a birthday. Am I being a spoilt brat?

My birthday is right after Xmas and had the same thing growing up. Totally understand.

In the last few years I’ve taken to organising my own birthday gatherings. For my recent significant birthday, I had a party in the summer when I knew people would be available rather than on the actual day.

I know three people born on Christmas Day itself - they always get Christmas wrapping which drives them mad; but they all get cakes and cards! And why would baubles stop you having balloons; is there a limit on round things in your house?!

You're not unreasonable to be disappointed he didn't listen though. Have you asked him why? You could arrange your own cake and balloons; but you shouldn't have to. Is he always a bit self centred and thoughtless?

Yanbu. I'm always made to feel like a brat when I point this out.
My birthday is close to Christmas. I hate the following
-bday presents in christmas paper

• happy birthday written in my christmas card
• family not making the effort to send a birthday card and waiting for the christmas visit to give me my cards etc. Always after my birthday.
• noone is free or they have no money to go anywhere because of christmas or work dos
• people giving me gifts and apologising as they hand it over because they have no money 'because of christmas'

The problem is, it's not just a one off. It has happened every single year for my entire life.

My brother was a Christmas birthday and I forget what year exactly but as a teen he had enough and 'moved' it to June. Exactly 6 months out. Every year since we celebrate on June 23rd.

I bet some of his friends now don't even know it's not his real birthday

He said he got the idea from the queen and apart from the first year where I guess we celebrated maybe twice he's had a great summer birthday ever since.

He only uses his real birthday on official paperwork.

Maybe he has a trans birthday identity and identifies as a summer born

Definitely not a spoiled brat. My DP and I both have December birthdays and we both make an effort with card / present / a little birthday trip out depending on what we each want.

Do you make an effort for his birthday?

Birthday and for you.

Btw, tell him it was a crappy birthday and you would appreciate more effort next year.

Thank you, curbside, yes I do. He is just after Christmas, last year we were away, but he got cake, candles, card, gift (in birthday wrapping paper). May just have a June birthday

Yanbu. It was a simple request and he didn’t hear what you were saying. It’s symbolic for you.

Not a Christmas birthday, but all I want for my birthday is small acknowledgment. I bake a cake with my dc because it’s ‘mummy’s birthday’ and it’s what I want. I’m not fussed about gifts but just sitting and sharing some nice cake with my loved ones mean so much.

Know exactly how you feel! My birthday is a little earlier in December but without fail I always end up going to a Christmas event of some sort either with work or friends on my birthday weekend. People always say ‘ooh, we can celebrate your birthday as well!’ but I would quite like my birthday not to be rolled up with Christmas for once!

Have you asked where your cake and balloons are? Let him know that this mattered to you and his lack of effort upsets you.

Or reciprocate in kind. Book a pub grub dinner, use left over Xmas paper and do nothing else because you're all done in from Xmas

New Years Eve baby here. Turned 18 in 1999. YOU CAN'T COMPETE WITH THE FKING MILLENIUM! !!!!

He's not talking to me now I have been unreasonable it would seem. I really am very easy to please. I would have been over the moon with a cake and balloons. I reminded him this morning and he's left without acknowledging me.

YANBU you know that.

But make sure your expectations are in line with other birthdays - in our family all gifts are given +/- a week or two, and sometimes people can't make it at all. My Mum's birthday is between Christmas and New Year, and I get that it is a crap time for a birthday... but every year we make a huge fuss, on the day, never even day either side. About 20+ people for dinner, etc etc. And still we hear how terrible it is to have a birthday then. I don't think I've had my July birthday dinner yet, LOL. She never sees this, so I get grumpy that it is so bad, when her bday is the only one we actually celebrate on the day, with everyone, every year. OK, that feels better - SIGH

I don't understand why people do this. My DP's birthday is close to Christmas so I just buy them throughout the year. This year is an exception and I'm giving him a combined present of a Nintendo Switch but it's more than twice our present giving budget for each other so he won't feel stiffed.