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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for tips on how you switch off from work?

43 replies

PinMoo · 21/12/2018 07:41

Hi, how do you switch off from work? I'm really struggling at the moment to switch off. I work part time and the days i don't work I can't stop thinking about work. How do you detach yourself? I do work in a fast pace environment and i am just a few months in. Could it because I care too much? How do I treat it just like a job rather than emotionally invest in it? I don't see people around me struggling to finish on time or check their emails out of work time. I've put a stop to both of those things now but I'm still struggling to switch off. And tips please? Thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

PinMoo · 21/12/2018 09:55

@80sMum yes that partly is a problem, that I can't fit everything in so I tend to spend time doing it or doing the thinking outside of work.

I need to be more disciplined and schedule in time in the diary to do things like catching up on latest in the field rather than doing it outside of work time.

OP posts:

Nodancingshoes · 21/12/2018 09:59

I struggle with this to. Often lay awake at night worrying about Ofsted (I'm a nursery manager.) I am trying to step back abit - sometimes it feels like it's taking over my life...

Original poster

PinMoo · 21/12/2018 09:59

I'm also the type that I'm so focused that I don't take regular breaks or do lighter tasks during the day. So it's a really full on day. So I'm tired at the end of the day and still want to catch up with what's going on in the field and catch up with some work.

OP posts:

Original poster

PinMoo · 21/12/2018 10:02

@Nodancingshoes that sounds really difficult. What in particular worries you about Ofsted? It might help to list that down on a piece of paper and look at it to check whether the fear is reasonable... And whether there are things others or you can do to mitigate that.

OP posts:

UserMcUser · 21/12/2018 17:17

It really isn't very productive to be consistently putting in extra hours or overtime.

By all means, if there's an urgent deadline, it can't be helped, but it shouldn't be the norm.

You will benefit from being able to take time for yourself, to recharge your batteries. Burnout can so easily happen.

Take care of yourself .

Original poster

PinMoo · 21/12/2018 22:19

@UserMcUser thank you!

OP posts:

UserMcUser · 21/12/2018 23:03

@PinMoo you're very welcome!

OrangeJellySpread · 22/12/2018 00:10

I used to be you but I've now tried really hard to switch off. I still can't because the bit I can't switch off from is the office politics. But work wise I refuse to do more outside my office hours. It is the realization that I work for a faceless corporation, not my boss, not my colleagues, but a corporate. So why should I give my personal time to enrich them?

Seren85 · 22/12/2018 01:09

I could say all the things I tell people I do (mindfulness, talking myself down etc) but the only thing that works is an hour or so of mindless games on my phone. I'm very self critical and don't have a job that means someone else takes over when I'm not there so my cases are my responsibility and the planning and prioritising and deadlines can get a bit much. I'm also the type of person who goes from one mistake to job loss and homelessness in one thought process so switching off is hard. I hope you find something that works for you.

Yearofthemum · 22/12/2018 08:12

"I need to learn to say no."

This. You need to sit down and negotiate a fair and doable amount of work, preferably with deadlines. Tell your boss you are currently overstretched, and what are his priorities.

Yearofthemum · 22/12/2018 08:13

And you are not responsible for completing more work than is possible.

Fluffymullet · 22/12/2018 09:00

I work 3 long days in frontline healthcare. A physically and emotionally demanding job with some management responsibilities. There is no physically enough time in the day to do the job, even if I worked full time. There are legal requirements which mean I can't leave the admin until when I am next in, so I'm often leaving late and working from home at night. It sucks. Add in 2 toddlers who don't sleep which compounds the problem.

I think the commute, wearing of a uniform all create distance from the 'real' me and work me. Trying to be cutthroat about priorities that day. If you job share making a plan for the days you aren't in so all is clear to everyone.

I think some of it is the fact that work carries on the days you aren't there so you have to make plans, forward things on if you can't attended a meeting etc. It's a bit like the feeling before you go on annual leave when you are cramming everything in and making arrangements when going.

It leaves you feeling like you are doing a crap job when you are just trying to fit it all in

Original poster

PinMoo · 22/12/2018 10:33

@fluffeymullet

It's a bit like the feeling before you go on annual leave when you are cramming everything in and making arrangements when going.

It leaves you feeling like you are doing a crap job when you are just trying to fit it all in

Yes this. Every week. Thanks for sharing that. I need to put in strategies to change that.

OP posts:

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 22/12/2018 10:53

I just refuse to think about it whilst on holiday. The world will not stop turning if i’m Not there. NEVER check emails whilst on holiday! Just think of it as unpaid overtime.

dischargepaperwork · 22/12/2018 10:58

Audio books!

Having someone read to me really stops the whirring.

dischargepaperwork · 22/12/2018 11:04

I also Had honest and hard conversations with myself. I asked if I thought I was the only one who could do this, what would happen if I broke a leg, would they shut the company if I died tonight, what if my work wasn't spot on... What would be the worst that happened.

That's allowed me to relax the grip, accept lower but acceptable standards, embrace less than perfection and prioritise expectations. I've had a read around things like ego, the self and intrinsic motivation. Been quite a good ride actually, I feel a lot more capable across the board. Certainly less prone to general worry.

Submariner · 22/12/2018 11:19

Mine's wrong and slightly controversial.
I run a project for a charity and I'm the only paid member of staff on the project. I also have high standards and always more work to do than hours to do it in.

If it's really busy I will take home one thing to do on my day off. Just something small and easy like a phonecall with a volunteer or some easy admin task. I do that early in the morning and tick it off my list then I've got the monkey off my back for the day.
If it's crazy busy before a deadline I will do an hour but put it on my timesheet.

I do find it really hard to switch off. If I'm not working I have to fill my time with home jobs. I try to make a conscious effort every now and then to take a day off and NOT FEEL GUILTY.

WhenLifeGivesYouLemonsx · 22/12/2018 11:25

When I worked as a care assistant, I could never switch off. It was on my mind 24/7 because I was constantly worried if I'd done something wrong or a resident had a fall because I didn't put the walking frame near her, fell out of bed because the rails wasn't put up... silly things like that! The only thing that cured it all was leaving the care industry and working in something totally different. What kind of job do you do, OP?

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