Theatre etiquette (inc. diagram!)

[PillarsOfTheEarth]

Using this diagram attached, if you were the Santas in this row of people which direction would you go to to enter and exit the row at the interval? (Additional info: you get up to leave immediately as the interval starts before anyone else really does and you are one of the last to return to your seats for the second act.)

Towards the X's

From the right, if you can.

Depends if the exit / toilets / bar are located closer to one end and if there's someone overweight or frail between me and the exit...
From the diagram I'd exit towards the empty seats. But I would be worrying about it either way tbh (either as the person leaving or the person being disturbed).

towards the Xs

Toilets, bar and exit to the right.

Depends where I was heading!

Although there were some toilets to the left. But they def went to the bar because they came back with drinks.

What Cant said. If there are people who won’t be able to get up easily or let me past on the shorter route, OR if getting to the loo/interval drinks is in the opposite direction, might choose to pass more people.

Maybe santa had history with one of the faces on the right and they were avoiding an awkward close encounter?

Grrrrr. I HATE it when this happens.

All things being equal to the right

Towards the xx.

The shortest route to the aisle to disturb the minimum of people, even if this meant they then had to walk further to the loo or bar. Excused for the first time if they couldn't work out which way disturbed the fewest people.

Towards the right, as others have said. But - in my experience, ushers often tell you to go a different way (they’ve got the seating plan muddled in their own head or have misremembered the exact position in the exact row - A40 isn’t always directly in front of B40, for example). And some people will always do as they’re told, regardless of common sense. I’d bet this is what happened here.

More importantly, do you give the seated patrons the ass or the crotch....

More importantly, do you give the seated patrons the ass or the crotch.... Depends on whether you're a man or a woman, apparently - men tend to pass face to face on crowded spaces, women back to back.

Great diagram op.

As far as I could see there were no reasons why they could not have gone to the right. I might have mentioned that I thought their route was a tad inconvenient for, like almost everyone in the entire row, and so on their return they sat in the two empty seats so they were not next to me. This meant they were even closer to the exit on the right, but at the end of the play they went to exit left even though there was no way out of the theatre in that direction. Idiots.

And don't even get me started on the fucker behind me who gave his kid a packet of CRISPS at then END OF THE INTERVAL!!! The entire second act was done to the sound track of this child rummaging for and eating the crisps.

BTW - this was West End theatre. It wasn't a panto which is more relaxed and I could possibly have coped better with Crisp-gate.

It depends on who is in the seats. If an older or less able person was in one direction or person who seemed to struggle getting up and down I’d go the longer way.

No-one particularly elderly or obviously disabled in any of the seats.

I try and disturb the least amount of people. But then I am the kind of person who checks the seating numbers on the outside of train carriages do I pick the right door to go in.

Maybe they WANTED to get up close and personal with someone on the left?

Or maybe they are like Derek Zoolander and can only turn left?

I’ve noticed this before and I think sometimes it’s to do with where they enter the auditorium. Once they’ve come in one door they can’t work out any other way of doing it!

I would have turned round and told crisp eater to sssshhhhhhhh