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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this overfamiliar?

18 replies

cringing100 · 20/12/2018 22:51

New friend’s bday and all new people there. Everyone for very drunk and quite a chilled, studenty vibe (we are all mid twenties, mixed gender group). I’m a girl and was chatting to another girl in v crowded club, and moved her hair from her ear so I could tell her something as she couldn’t hear me... both very drunk and I thought I was just being girly/it’s how I treat my female friends. But now paranoid was weird and overfamiliar!

OP posts:

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 20/12/2018 22:54

Did she seem bothered by it? What is it that's making you suddenly overthink that? Are you worried she'll think you were hitting on her?

MyArris · 20/12/2018 22:58

Beer fear. 🙄

Forget it

isthistoonosy · 20/12/2018 23:03

Litterally I would think nothing of this if I did it to a bloke i work with, moving hair to make yourself heard is pretty normal.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 20/12/2018 23:06

But hair isn’t a brick wall? It doesn’t usually stop anyone hearing something.

The only people who have ever done that to me are blokes who were flirting with me.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 20/12/2018 23:10

They do this in soaps a lot! When a female is crying in a soap opera the other female always tucks the crying woman’s hair behind their ears, when I’ve seen it on tv I’ve always thought how odd it was and that no one in real life would ever do that, I must admit if someone did that to me I would not like it but I’m not very touchy feely at all and don’t like people invading my space particularly if I don’t know them very well, but you say you only moved her hair so not as bad as tucking it behind her ear, so just forget about it she probably has not given it a second thought.

brighteyeowl17 · 21/12/2018 06:59

Firstly I thought you had said she loved your hair. But you’ve said she moved her own hair? Why is this an issue? She wanted to hear you.

Taffeta · 21/12/2018 07:02

Beer fear

Brilliant! I always suffer from beer fear. S’fine, op.

Worst case scenario she’ll wake up and think you fancy her. It’s great for the old self esteem to be fancied, by either sex.

WerewolfNumber1 · 21/12/2018 07:09

I wouldn’t like that, it’s a bit too touchy feely for me, but I wouldn’t be upset or offended by it.

AlaskanOilBaron · 21/12/2018 07:12

It's obviously an affectionate gesture, but don't give it too much thought.

Beer fear.

gladheart · 21/12/2018 07:55

I bet she doesn't even remember. Just make extra effort to keep your hands to yourself n still time you see her if you are still as worried tomorrow (which I'm sure you won't be)

Pachyderm1 · 21/12/2018 07:58

You just have post-booze paranoia, don’t worry! No one would have an issue with that unless they have a real aversion to physical contact, but if that were the case there would likely have been other indicators.

Atalune · 21/12/2018 07:58

Oooooooowweeeee oooooooooh

You LIKE her!

Or maybe not?

But honestly don’t even worry about it. Totally ordinary behaviour.

LostInShoebiz · 21/12/2018 08:00

Many people wouldn’t be fussed. Some people would think it a tiny bit unusual. No one is going to go around saying you’re a dirty hair fondling perv.

LostInShoebiz · 21/12/2018 08:01

Unless a massive drip feed is coming and it was Afro hair! In that case never touch unless invited.

Spam88 · 21/12/2018 08:10

If I was sober and someone did this to me I'd wonder wtf they were doing.

When I'm drunk I'm seemingly incapable of speaking to people without touching them, so I really wouldn't worry OP, I doubt she thought anything of it! Unless it was a slow tucking of her hair behind her ear while gazing in to her eyes, then whispering sweet nothings in her ear...

puppymouse · 21/12/2018 08:30

Can't say I'd do this, personally. Or want someone to do it to me. But it's no big deal I'm sure.

Miffymeow · 21/12/2018 08:47

If I was sat in the office and someone did this I'd be totally weirded out. If I was in a nightclub drinking, I wouldn't even think about it, totally normal behaviour. If it was me, I wouldn't even have given it a thought and wouldn't remember the next day.

Drinks bring down usual social boundaries, it's why we enjoy drinking. Don't swear it OP!

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/12/2018 09:04

I do this all the time in clubs, even if the woman I’m talking to is a complete stranger. Have never had anyone (acquaintance or stranger) appear the least bit bothered about it. As a PP said - in the office it would be weird. In a noisy venue, where social boundaries are different, people understand. Don’t worry about it.

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