To think 20 hours of nursery is ok?

[cadburyegg]

My DH has come back from a school open evening concerned that our nearly 4 yo DS1 won’t be prepared for school because he only does 2 days at nursery. We pay for 8-6 2 days a week, so 20 hours. I’m on maternity leave with DS2 at the moment and when I go back I will only be working 2 days, so we can’t really afford/justify the cost of an additional nursery day when we don’t need the childcare. Nursery is about £63 a day.

Apparently the headteacher said that kids who have been doing a decent amount of preschool / nursery settle better at school and are more prepared.

I have looked at the village preschool but didn’t feel it was the right fit for DS1 for various reasons. There arent really many other nursery/preschool options.

I think DS1 will be able to learn a lot at home before school next year but DH thinks he would benefit more from being in a more formal setting particularly now my attention is stretched with DS2, but the staff ratios for 3 year olds are 1:8.

AIBU? Thoughts?

They're exhausted either way so I wouldn't worry too much. The only thing I would recommend is if he can do some hours at a feeder preschool so he starts school with a decent number of friendly faces, that will be a big help for settling in.

Yes I wondered about if preschool would help more. Unfortunately the one that is attached to the school he will most likely go to, is the one I didn’t get a good vibe from. The manager was not at all interested in the kids, said that they don’t help kids with wiping bums, and the toilet area was disgustingly filthy (and i have low standards).

It’s hard to know what to do

@moredoll All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Ancient saying warning of the dangers of focusing too much on formal education.

As far as I’m aware nurseries don’t provide formal education? Mine doesn’t anyway they just play and paint and dance with the odd 20 mins floor time for a book!

My son only did 2 days a week. My husband was worried that he needed to go more but I was on maternity leave so we couldn't up it. He's settled in to school amazingly well. Tbh if you have input, read to him, socialise him, he will have no issues. School basically require that they can go to toilet independantly, share and ask for help by the time they start. You'll be amazed at how quickly they learn to read and write

i think you should stop worrying. What you are doing is fine. Mine mainly played in pre school anyway. The school asked the preschool not to do any writing or reading as they wanted to teach phonics in a specific way. They are both fabulous readers and doing really well. We did bits and pieces at home but only when they were interested.

I’m very pro-early education. I still think 2 days is plenty. The main advantage to nursery/preschool is learning to be in a class.

Kids also learn a ton at home, particularly in homes where parents speak to them frequently and read frequently.

Gimmeesugar - I'm a Nursery teacher and believe you me, if this was all we did each day my job would be a breeze 😤 The EYFS curriculum might help to enlighten you

Both of mine only did 2 x 2.5 hours each week, the rest was me, DH or grandparents and they settled in fine. My youngest was more tired, however he's a July baby so I think he would have always been tired, he still half boy, half mattress now and he's 12.

I would be more concerned if a child was in nursery too much. I don’t like the way so many children spend so much time in nursery these days. It’s so important that they get to spend quality time with a parent instead of being with loads of kids and peo0le that are being paid to look after them. The more they can be around people that love them in those early years, the better. The head is wrong imo.

I don't think its the hours its the routine. It depends very much on your nursery. Nurseries which offer 8-6pm understandably tend to try and make the nursery more like a home. Children who go to a nursery which mimics a school environment for their last year at nursery help them settle in i.e. they need to hang up their own coat, there is some structure to the morning etc. I have seen day nursery do this for that age group so I'm not saying your's doesn't - it might - I would suggest speaking to a few nursery to see what they do differently. Even if you can't go to any of the other nurseries - at least you have that understanding to check what your's is doing.
Also - is it really 20hrs? You might pay for a full day but do you really drop at 8am and collect at 6pm?

When I was a child (I'm 27) few of my cohort went to 30 hours nursery. We all did preschool which was maximum of 15 hours a week (if you went every day, not everyone did). We all settled in to school just fine.

The trend of everyone having to use nurseries for full days is a fairly new one.

FWIW my niece was in nursery full time and found transition to school very difficult because she was used to the free-flow nature of nursery where she could go outside whenever she wanted etc. She found it much harder than my cousins who didn't go to nursery at all. It depends on the child, just like everything.

I think it is really wrong of the HT to imply that kids can't do well if they have a SAHP or their parents can't afford 30 hours of nursery a week. That could be really demoralizing for some parents who are trying really hard and feel they aren't doing enough.

What’s going to produce well rounded children in school is well rounded parenting at home. Nursery is a fleeting experience. Settling into school is a fleeting experience. Impact wise patenting is the biggest most important thing

Long term it makes no difference if your child take two weeks or two terms to settle into school.

Read up about nursery attendance and behaviour. There are some interesting links.

Grannyannex the research that shows nursery attendance improves behaviour?

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2018/10/01/children-attend-nursery-better-behaved-stay-home-parents-study/amp/

Nursery and early years provision is encouraged to bring children who are rarely talked to conversationally, never read to, not toilet trained at home, not taught to eat with cutlery, up to the the same level as children whose parents do have two way conversations in full sentences with the , do read to them, do sit them at the table with a knife and fork and eat a meal with them regularly etc.

Nursery is very helpful for children from disadvantaged backgrounds, but neutral for children with engaged parents in a position to parent well.